Sophia

16

"polaroid moments captured forever on glossy paper"

I am afraid that one day
all of my friends will collectively decide
to give up on me, and I will be left alone
and my anxiety will swallow me whole,
neon green nail polish chipping on a nail.

I want to be funny without being mean
I want to stop sucking at everything in my life
a dead butterfly almost symmetrical,
except for it’s missing wing.

purple lilac hair tied up in a messy bun,
some leaking down the back,
I am afraid of being the family disappointment,
I am afraid I will let my mother down,
I want my sister to enjoy hanging out with me.

tall buildings scraping the sky and blocking the sun.
I am afraid of heights, or maybe, not heights , but falling.
I want to fall in love dizzyingly hard and fast.
I want to be spectacularly, amazingly happy, for a long time.