Sunny

16

Playing Pretend

When swinging in unison paved our destiny,
and conquering the jungle gym endowed the greatest pride
we were the big kids;
big enough for two-wheelers.
big enough for Harry Potter,
big enough to be the teacher,
when we played pretend.

But that was before.
before nothingness was imaginable
and before you faded away
Before my father stopped asking
and my mother started,
before scars began appearing
and before affection became pain,
I could still play pretend.

When the wind was at my back
but the breeze in my face
my mighty pink sneakers
punched holes in the clouds,
You kept me a child,
playing pretend.

But that was before.
Before I stopped healing
and before you faded away
Before dreams become nightmares
and before pain turned numb,
I could still play pretend.

Now my playground is littered
with cigarettes and stones
I’m too small to swing on swings,
and too small to reach the sky
Too small to hold your hand,
and too small to play pretend.