Ellen

17

Shattered Summer

I still remember you
we conned it the party car and the
night was young and
we were, we all were.
Dusk settling off your eyelashes
Your beautiful green eyes and
I could have kissed you right then
As I tossed the keys into your lap
Hollering that it was our time for adventures
The passenger seat never felt this good and
I wanted to reach for your hand
but I just changed the radio to a
pop song that I cannot recall
my hair caught in the wind
tousling it, winding it, and
we sang along loud and rambunctious
Cigarette smoke lingers on me even now
it's funny that your last moment was
happy—a rarity. Leaning out the window
waving both hands, mouth wide open
I should have said something but
my words caught in my throat like diamonds
and I could only think that you were
beautiful, perfection
a moment too good to ruin
Now, nothing, nothing, nothing
but a ache in my heart, pain in my brain
fiery regret in my lungs
ash in my hands
the sky was nearly crying and
red gleamed in the headlights
windows fogged up and everything was ugly
I wasn't ready to say goodbye.
The engine never turned off, the lights never dimmed
the aroma of smoke brings me back to the
past and my thoughts are consumed:
you were beautiful