Emma

18

We were five and it was hot
I had watermelon juice dribbling down my chin
And your hands were sticky from melted ice cream
But we chased each other 'til the sky was orange
And tainted by the smoke from the grill
The burgers were as big as our faces
I ate the whole thing
And threw up behind your shed
You said the dog did it
You didn't have a dog

We were nine and too cool for sunscreen
You tanned, I was a cherry for a week
And both of our mothers were mad
I got freckles that summer and I hated them
Until you said they reminded you of stars
I grinned until my face hurt and then some
We made a promise to be friends forever
Then we rolled down the hill at my house
Until our clothes were stained, our faces dirty
And our mothers were mad again

We were fourteen, you liked Sara Smith
And I realized I loved you
We watched fireworks from the hammock in your backyard
And when the fireworks were gone
We traced fireflies with our fingers like they were constellations
Until our hands bumped together
You held my hand for a minute
Before I laughed and punched you in the shoulder
I called you a sap, and the next day
You took Sara to the county fair

We were sixteen and it was the worst summer ever
Your mom died and I lost my best friend
'Cause you were different when you finally talked to me again
You didn't smile much anymore and you stopped coming over
So I watched fireworks alone and ate watermelon alone
But I always saved a space for you
Just in case you changed your mind
You didn't
You tried not to cry at your mom's funeral
I tried not to cry when you sat next to someone else on the first day of school

We were nineteen and your hair was too long
You started smoking and drinking
I shouldn't have been surprised
But my jaw dropped when I saw you behind the dumpsters
Buying pills from Billy Mars
My mom kept asking where you'd been
For the past three years
I said you were busy
I guess that was partially true
You were too busy for me

We're twenty-two and you finally called
So I flew across the country to your rehab center
And they're serving hamburgers for lunch
It's the fourth of July and there will be fireworks
And you ask if I can stay so we can watch them together
You don't expect me to say yes, you don't expect me to forgive you
Because you don't quite forgive yourself
But I do, so I stay with you until they kick me out
I promise I'll come back tomorrow, if you want
You nod and smile for the first time in years