Comedian Patton Oswalt thinks that he and his circle of high school friends could be parsed into three different categories — Zombies, Spaceships, and Wastelands — that shaped their paths to adulthood, their careers, and their lives. Patton says he realizes now that he's a Wasteland...but what are you: a Zombie, a Spaceship, or a Wasteland? Take our survey.
Zombie
I spend around 95% of my waking hours trying to simplify the world around me. Always have, always will.
Joe
Wasteland
I am the "voice in the darkness"--the last human broadcast inviting the survivors of the apocalypse to reconvene and retry. I believe in the goodness of people as individuals, but the systems we live in have grown corrupt, selfish, and lethal.
I am a public school teacher: high school, AP Language and Composition (a rhetoric class) and Creative Writing. And my state long ago forbid teachers from "unionizing"; we do have a "professional association" and can currently collectively bargain.
Mike
Spaceship
Cause Zombies need to escape their wasteland, right?
Justin
Wasteland
At first, when I read this part of Oswalt's book I couldn't get it because I have a deadly allergy to all things "starwars" and he starts it off with Darth Vader, so I tune out. Which is very zombie-like, which I think I used to be, but then I took off like a "spaceship" and moved to New York City and then quit my computer job with the Columbians and started to make art, which is a very wasteland thing to do. So, I think it's a series of stages, like the acceptance of death or Lacan's discourses. Except you left out Mad Scientist. Which was my serious reply when I was 4 years old and asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. That's the next step.
Mark Babock
Zombie
Patton's definition of a Zombie sounds counter-intuitive to the usual archetype, but the way he described it, I'm a Zombie all the way...
E
Wasteland
The complexities of human society both horrify and compel me. I am in awe of the beauty and violence inherent in our life on this planet. I am an atheist and think that this world, this life, is the only one we have, and I am appalled when people use it only to better themselves at the sake of others. But even though I have my own ideals about human society its frustrating to know that they will never come to be. Plus I love the DIY punk community.
Samuel
Spaceship
I love sci-fi and people say i make a good parent.
Khari
Spaceship
I have my spaceship and crew, first aid kit and stuff toy comforter for the youngest crew-member. We voyage together through life.
Paul
Spaceship
It's not a SURVEY. It's MULTIPLE CHOICE
Higetro
Zombie
I think I'm a Zombie with Wasteland undertones. I certainly do roll my eyes a LOT.
Margie
Wasteland
I'm all about forming teams in the midst of the chaos.
Lawrence
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