Comedian Patton Oswalt thinks that he and his circle of high school friends could be parsed into three different categories — Zombies, Spaceships, and Wastelands — that shaped their paths to adulthood, their careers, and their lives. Patton says he realizes now that he's a Wasteland...but what are you: a Zombie, a Spaceship, or a Wasteland? Take our survey.
Spaceship
Zombie when I'm angry, Spaceship when I'm afraid, Wasteland when I have the presence of mind to notice my surroundings.
Alexander
Zombie
I'd like to be a wasteland, which sounds more romantic and less jaded. But Patton said "Zombies just can't *believe* how much time people waste in non-food pursuits," and that's pretty much it right there.
David
Spaceship
From an elementary school playground in Florida, I watched the Challenger explode over a warm, blue eastern sky. My second ship was a 1972 Ford, All my possessions could fit inside. The transmission failed and my ship became Two Suitcases that never carried suits. Up the east coast and down the west. Now I cross the Bay Bridge every day watching the new Saturn-5 rocket assembled off the edge of Treasure Island. Waiting for my next ship.
Jim
Wasteland
Zombies sound suspiciously like hipsters, and spaceships sound like my brother-in-law who opens the door and says "greetings earth creatures" when I come to visit. So what am I? A lack of THOSE THINGS.
Sarah
Spaceship
I fit the bill. And it was funny when he mentioned that every Spaceship he knew worked in computers (I do, haha).
Dan
Spaceship
I've always dreamed of escape from this reality where the laws of physics tend to put limits on what we can do or not. One of the saddest days of my life was when I learned from a high school physics class that the speed of light was an impassible barrier within the forseeable future of modern science. From that day forward, I was always trying to think of ways, in my ignorant teen mind, to circumvent that seemingly immutable law. I scoured the works of Azimov, Clarke, and Herbert but it always comes down to: there has to be some amazing leap of our understanding of the universe or ability ot generate raw power in order to allow us to even begin to approach the speed of light, let alone begin to attempt to surpass it. Blurg.
Matt
Spaceship
There's so many to choose from.
As a child, I was definitely in the Spaceship category. I was 4 when Star Wars came out and ended up being a web developer. I actually laughed out loud as you described the Spaceship person at how close to being me it actually was.
Jamie
Wasteland
I had a dream when I was 5 that I witnessed the destruction of the earth. It kind of influenced me after.
Phil
Spaceship
Happy to retreat to my postage stamp-sized vessel.
Jenny
Wasteland
I don't know why, I haven't found out yet, but I have a hunch that I am!
Robert
Wasteland
I hate humanity and love it at the same time. I do realize that most of the endeavours we pursue in life are completely meaningless and often lead us to ruin. But, though they are meaningless they are not fruitless. Though it is terrible, it is beautiful as well. And even it it leads us to ruin it is still the act of experiencing life. To live is a horrifying endeavour, and it is wonderful.
Lee
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