The World's Greatest First Name is Back, as an App

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Yesterday I learned that my name (Ethan) had become a messaging app.

The stages of response to learning your first name has been turned into a chat app are basically the same as learning you’ve lost out on being [insert your first name here] on a new social network. Find out, go “dang, oh well,” and maybe make a bad joke.

The app’s only function is to allow you to message a developer named Ethan Gliechtenstein (he goes by “Ethan the opinionated” on Ethan), who created the app as a quick way for friends to message him. It’s since received a lot of attention on Product Hunt. Gliechtenstein’s started getting messages from plenty of strangers, whom he offers advice to or just chats with. He’s also suggested that perhaps others could have their own, similar app, based on whatever handle they want.

I tried to message Gliechtenstein using Ethan, but he has yet to get back to me (I imagine he’s busy). I actually think the app is kind of a fun idea, though I don’t think I’ll be getting or making one of my own. I only hope he’s giving good advice, and representing the many Ethans of the world well. Since 2002 Ethan has been a top 5 baby name in the United States all but 3 years. That’s to say nothing of Ethans like myself, who are older than twelve, and the potentially countless Ethans born outside the United States (I won’t get into Eitans, Eytans or Etans).

Anyway, go talk to Ethan, he’s waiting. I'll be busy founding a society of Ethans who experienced a very short moment of slight dissociation when they learned about the app.

And if the word Ethan hasn’t undergone semantic satiation for you by the end of this post, your mind is stronger than mine.