Replace Your Online Self With A Bot!

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One of the things that people who loved the Twitter account horse_ebooks loved about it was that it took the language of internet spam and created something that sometimes felt like a poetic artifact.

Now, you can get your own stream turned into that sort of algorithmic nonsense, and it’s pretty good. On Twitter, you can tweet at @tofu_product, who supposedly scans your timeline and spits back a Tweet that sounds like you, if you were replaced by a computer. (Some people think tofu bot is not a real bot, but rather just one very industrious person working very hard.) In any case, Tofu Bot isn’t always on, and doesn’t always respond, which is too bad.

If you’re on Facebook, you can use “what would I say?”, which does the same fun-house mirror trick on your Facebook statuses. I am in love with the nonsense that “what would i say?” generates. Here were some sentences I got this afternoon, which, taken together, paint a portrait of a sad, substance-abusing wreck of an academic, obsessed with his own dubious “research.”

If someone wrote arguing in defense of teenagers who will be a real magic in there.

Does anybody want a free pair of my research

It's in my GODDAMNED COMPUTER!! thank you

OK, this hangover I did a sleepover at royal victoria hospital

FRIENDS My cell phone dries out.

how to most comfortably sleep underneath my research

IT WON'T WORK ON one

yes message me wolf blizter at burning man

like a thought that he assisted the other lives we may have

There’s blood on saturday?