My enduring love of Ja Rule began as a preteen on a minivan in early morning traffic in Manila. My family was living in the Philippines, the minivan was my school bus, and the driver listened to a radio station that — because it was late 2001 — seemed to exclusively play Always On Time (ft. Ashanti, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that). I am forever indebted to that driver, or possibly the radio station, I’m still trying to figure out how to properly apportion the praise.
I mention this by way of explaining why I’m so deeply into PLEASE HELP ME JA RULE, a tool to provide you with the ideal Ja Rule track for your mood, based on two questions: “How thug are you feeling?” and “How emotional are you feeling?” The songs are pretty well chosen to match the corresponding moods, but if you answer with a firm negative on either question, that you don’t get emotional or don’t want to be a thug, you (rightly) won’t get an answer.
The site is the work of self-proclaimed “RAP/INTERNET FIEND & SNR. STRATEGIST” Rhys Hillman, and I’m sharing it first of all because of my aforementioned love of Ja Rule, but also because it’s exactly the sort of tiny, hyper-specific gem of a tool that the Internet hangs on to well. Plenty of people will find it puerile, but others, will love it, and then gradually forget about it. Then (as long as it stays up) someone else may find it weeks or months or years down the line. It’ll become a little piece of Internet flotsam to discover or remember, and it’ll always have the right Ja Rule song to match the mood finding it evokes.
Unless you don’t get emotional, ya weirdo.