Buzzfeed Minus GIFs

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Buzzfeed is getting mocked this week, which is not a new phenomenon. What is new is a Tumblr called Buzzfeed Articles Without The GIFs ,which points out that Buzzfeed listicles, sans pictures, are just paragraphs of silly, vapid sentences. 

My colleague Alex Goldman says that they read like a Markov chain:

12 Reasons Why You Should Let Your Parents Choose Your Spouse

Your parents have always made good decisions. They picked your first car, remember? And that turned out OK. I mean, it wasn’t that bad. So say goodbye to online dating! Sayonara, painfully unsuccessful flirting! So long, awkward invitations upstairs! See you later, guy who goes for it who you really wish hadn’t! Take a hike, all-too-important moment when you introduce your new crush to your judgmental friends! Hasta la vista, wingman! Make like a tree, sloppy and embarrassing bar hookups! Get lost, super noisy clubs with overpriced drinks. Adios forever, breakups! Don’t be a chump — let mom and dad make the right call. They know what’s best.

8 Reasons Candy Corn Is The Worst (Minus The GIFs)

It’s neither candy nor corn. Well, it might technically be a candy and includes corn syrup as an ingredient, but honestly, it just doesn’t count. Candy corn leaves kids feeling sad and unfulfilled. Wax is an actual ingredient in candy corn. The other ingredients are sugar, corn syrup, salt, egg whites and colorings. When trick or treating, it is almost always distributed in a homemade bag. Oreo couldn’t even make candy corn work. If you hand out candy corn on Halloween, you will be lame. You will end up with a lot of leftover wax-candy.

It’s a fun joke and it has made me giggle a lot. That said, it’s not really a fair one, right? Buzzfeed’s listicles are a visual medium. The lyrics of a pop song without their music sound pretty bad. The New Yorker without words is just pencil sketches of married couples looking wry in bed and ads for fancy berets.