Streams

For Better

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tara Parker-Pope, who writes the "Well" blog for the New York Times, discusses what the top biologists, neuroscientists, psychologists and other scientists can tell us about marriage and divorce.

In For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage , she shows the science behind why some marriages work and others don't, the biology behind why some spouses cheat while others remain faithful, and the best diagnostic tools used by cutting-edge psychologists to assess the probability of success in getting married, staying married, or remarrying.

Guests:

Tara Parker-Pope
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Comments [13]

Rachel from Brooklyn, NY

Torturing animals to learn about our own relationships? Maybe we should examine our ability (or inability) to be compassionate on all levels, might be helpful in every area of or lives!

May. 12 2010 05:26 AM
MichaelB from Morningside Heights

What about the gender's different communications styles?

May. 11 2010 12:41 PM
jgarbuz from Queens

Go to any old age nursing home, and count the number of women versus the paucity of men. And many old men who did survive to a ripe old age I found never to have married. They just fooled around most of their lives. Today, marriage is an premature death sentence for men, which is the opposite of the way things were when marriage was still had a nominally patriarchal political structure, i.e., where the man was the titular head of the family, just as the Queen of England is the titular head of state in Britain.

May. 11 2010 12:41 PM
The Truth from Becky

If sex becomes the most important thing in the relationship, that is a relationship doomed to fail. You have to like the person as a person when you all come off the lust euphoria. The libido like looks fades!

May. 11 2010 12:37 PM
Rich from Manhattan

My girlfriend and I have been together for more than two years now and are very much in love. I think, though, that we're both somewhat skeptical about the institution of marriage because both of our sets of parents divorced, mine when I was pretty young and hers more recently. Are there any special statistics for couples such as ours?

May. 11 2010 12:34 PM

My marriage has been a success through 10 years of crisis after crisis because we both communicate, are willing to apologize when we are wrong, and realize there are times when we each need to put the other's needs first.

May. 11 2010 12:33 PM
Aaron from Brooklyn

Men's jealously probably exists to prevent the likelihood of raising a child without his own genes. A woman's jealously is to prevent the loss of a partners help in raising a child, which is why men get more jealous of a physical act while woman get more jealous of her partner falling in love.

May. 11 2010 12:33 PM
jgarbuz from Queens

Marriage should be outlawed, and babies produced in state factories, as in Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World." The "family" is an archaic patriarchal institution that had relevance in olden times, but it's future demise is inevitable. A cultural institution only can remain in existence for as long as it provides a long-term social solution. It is failing, and as the ability to produce life in labs continues to progress, societies will realize they have to change the way things are done.

May. 11 2010 12:30 PM
MichaelB from Morningside Heights

Is fidelity a cause of successful or breakups or is it just a correlation to already-successful or broken marriages?

May. 11 2010 12:28 PM

If men cheat more than women, who are they cheating with?

May. 11 2010 12:27 PM
Aaron from Brooklyn

Just because there are some monogamous species in nature doesn't mean that humans are wired for monogamy.

May. 11 2010 12:26 PM
Linda Pleven from New York City

From early in our marriage when the kids were small, I've tried to steer away from language that assumes I'm the one who's running the house and raising the children, and change it to "we are doing this together." I think casting one partner as the "doer" and the other as the "helper," feeds into a lopsided mindset. We're about to celebrate our 50th anniversary, by the way, and are still working on this language.

May. 11 2010 12:24 PM
yvette from Barcelona

Very funny,considering the people involved, LL!

May. 11 2010 12:22 PM

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