Gay Women & DADT

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Commander Beth Coye, author of My Navy Too, discusses how gay women in the military are affected by the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.


Beth Coye

Comments [52]

pat from NJ

Is if fair to ask straight Americans to risk their lives for this country and not to demand the same sacrifice from gay Americans?

Feb. 05 2010 09:47 PM
pat from NJ

Another take on the equality issue:
The Military protects all Americans , so
Should only straight American be asked to die for their country while gay Americans sit safely at home?

Feb. 05 2010 08:17 PM
hjs from 11211

by the way, moral police, which other "sins" should the government regulate

Feb. 04 2010 03:27 PM
LM from New York

A lot of people posting here are not being civil and are trying to be more offensive than everyone else.

Feb. 04 2010 02:54 PM
hjs from 11211

because the sin is unmarried sex

Feb. 04 2010 01:49 PM
hjs from 11211



the word hypocrite comes to my mind

Feb. 04 2010 01:48 PM
hjs from 11211

so your god says some sins are ok?

Feb. 04 2010 01:47 PM
the truth!! from BKNY

NICE Zach, but NOT!

HJS - that's personal, but we are not discussing all the sins, just this onE!

Feb. 04 2010 01:11 PM
hjs from 11211

now now. some people can just be hateful without being a "closet case." try to be more open minded :)

Feb. 04 2010 12:31 PM
Zach from UWS

"The truth!!" always has the most comments on these gay topics. Obsessive a little? She sounds like a closet case to me.

Feb. 04 2010 12:23 PM
Dw Dunphy from Red Bank, NJ

This is the stupidest argument ever and blunt mathematics bear the truth.

Two wars waged concurrently, a humanitarian action in Haiti, homefront needs and duties and now the looming threat of another terrorist action on American soil within six months - YET the brilliant minds of US Defense want to kick this one down the street for a year or two.

Do you think the soldier who's pinned down under gunfire in Fallujah gives a damn who his backup is sleeping with?

Feb. 04 2010 12:23 PM
hjs from 11211

have u ever had sex out of wedlock?

Feb. 04 2010 12:13 PM
john from office

Voter it weas the form, I am also ex-military. I misunderstood your comment.

Feb. 04 2010 12:01 PM
Voter from Brooklyn

#36 The Truth,
Perhaps I should have put it in quotations. That was what was said to the now happily married (to a man) mother of two.
That is how men treat women and they’re all in a tizzy because they don’t want someone of potentially equal or greater size, strength, and rank treating them the same way.

Feb. 04 2010 11:53 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

Wait for it.....Wait for it.....

Feb. 04 2010 11:48 AM
hjs from 11211

Pete from Queens
some people might think killing innocent civilians is immoral but that never stopped the military.

how are ALL gays immoral?

Feb. 04 2010 11:48 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

VOter, I agreed with WHAT you said it was HOW you phrased it that was offensive. Made my skin crawl actually.

Feb. 04 2010 11:46 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

John from the Office,
I’m still waiting to hear how you came to your conclusion that I’m some kind of anti-troop radical that doesn’t appreciate the contributions of the men and women risking their lives to defend this country because I have a problem with Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and servicewomen getting sexually harassed and raped.

Feb. 04 2010 11:46 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

I agree bring the straight men home!- Kick 'em out as Jen said...let them go home and be with their families and let ALL the gays that want to go into active duty go ahead!

Feb. 04 2010 11:45 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

@#27 George, incorrect, only gay people believe that and make statements like that.

Feb. 04 2010 11:43 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

@#25 PETE, I agree, gays are good's the sexual act that is immoral.

Feb. 04 2010 11:42 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

MARK are you nuts?? Women go through a "Lesbian Phase"??? LOL Ladies? What do you think about that? I am still waiting on mine if that's the case!!

Feb. 04 2010 11:41 AM
Mike C. from Tribeca

Re Pete from Queens: "Based on OUR view of morality"? You must live in a country where everyone has the exact same set of values, because that's not what America is all about. As a self-described "black cold war veteran," you should know better than most the inanity of your argument.

Feb. 04 2010 11:40 AM
Ashton from Chelsea, Manhattan

About the shower thing: If a man (gay or straight) is aroused by another man in a shower -- or anywhere else where one is naked -- the arousal produces fairly VISUAL evidence of the arousal (unless one closes ones eyes or simply fails to note ALL activity in the immediate environment). There is no equivalent conspicuous VISUAL evidence when a woman is aroused.

Feb. 04 2010 11:38 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

And Truth,
Apparently the moderator did feel the need to redact what I said, but when you’ve talked to as many women as I have (heterosexual women, mind you) who say that’s how heterosexual men treat them when they reject a sexual advance, then you’d know the truth in it.
Heterosexual men are not threatened by homosexual women because they think—making sure I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings like I apparently did before—they just haven’t found the right man yet. The way men treat women in this country is abhorrent and they’re afraid of another man treating them the exact same way.
The irony of it is that these same men, that they look at as nothing more than weak-minded flaming pansies in feather boas who’ll turn and run when bullets start to fly, are going to rape them in the shower. What?!?!

Feb. 04 2010 11:37 AM
George from Downtown

The Americans that are worried about taking showers with gay soldiers, arent afarid of the akward confrontation that might occur if a gay soldir approaches them, they are afraid they might like it.
Heterosexuals that are confident in their sexuality dont mind homosexuals in society. One day gays will have the freedoms the rest of americans do.

Feb. 04 2010 11:33 AM
Pete from Queens

I'm a black cold war veteran and have always looked a the scouts and military as culture and value filled.

Our values are that being gay is immoral. I know gays are often good people. But they are immoral.
Based on our view of morality.

Organizations have to stand for something and enforce some standards for members to adhere to.

Feb. 04 2010 11:31 AM
jenn from Upper East Side

#23 Bob, So your point is really that straight men are the problem... maybe we should kick them out!

Feb. 04 2010 11:30 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

High school ws high school lady, not applicable not acceptable in real life.

Feb. 04 2010 11:29 AM
Bob from Scarsdale

I am totally for the removal of DADT but why should we think that a military that has a huge problem with sexual harassment for females think that we they are ready to deal with opening gay military?

Feb. 04 2010 11:28 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

NOTE: that person was very brave b/c some men have a very violent reaction to being propositioned by gay men!

Feb. 04 2010 11:28 AM
hjs from 11211

11 truth there's your answer

Feb. 04 2010 11:28 AM
Chris from New York

All "66,000" gay men & women in the military should step forward & proclaim being gay. What's the military going to do kick them ALL out now?? The military desperately needs these enlisted ppl.

Feb. 04 2010 11:27 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

OK...there it is...that is the fear and the PROBLEM...hetero's do not want to be hit on by gays!!

Feb. 04 2010 11:27 AM

In terms of women being less bothered by lesbians. Is that because most women go through a lesbian phase at some point in their lives?

Also why not have lesbians serve only with men. And, have gay men serve only with women.

That's the solution

Feb. 04 2010 11:27 AM
Karen from Long Beach ,NY

Just get over it! Who cares what people do when they are off of work. All that matters is that they do their job well.
Some people need to grow up. The real adult world is made up of many different people, that's what makes it great!

Feb. 04 2010 11:26 AM
Evelyn from Jersey City, NJ

MSNBC showed tape of John McCain speaking in front of the senate, being opposed to Don't Ask...some years ago, before he became in favor of it.

Feb. 04 2010 11:26 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

John from the Office,
What’s your point? I’m from a highly military region of the country (southeast Virginia), had a father in the Air Force serving stateside during Vietnam, grandfather in the Army during WWII, cousins in the Marines (one of which has served in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Kuwait), and a friend who is gay and hiding under DADT while serving two tours in Iraq. I was also one of the few people commenting on the BL show’s board defending the president’s decision to add 30,000 soldiers in Afghanistan.
Are you trying to say I’m against the troops?

Feb. 04 2010 11:25 AM
hjs from 11211

we just don't need an orgy in the barracks on you tube, you know will all those lonely boys so far away.

Feb. 04 2010 11:24 AM
Dave from Manhattan

The Daily Show last night did a brilliant perspective shift on this, replacing gay soldiers, with "old senators". The argument was bitingly on target and it was amazing to see how the same arguments absurdly made sense to keep old men out of the senate.

Feb. 04 2010 11:22 AM
jenn from Upper East Side

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all (straight?) men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." COME ON PEOPLE!! These truths are SELF-EVIDENT!!

Feb. 04 2010 11:21 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

again i say let 'em fight...let em ALL go into active duty!!

Feb. 04 2010 11:17 AM
hjs from 11211

are there other examples of current members our military having problems following orders (ie if ordered to get along with their comrades)

Feb. 04 2010 11:16 AM

Back in 1990, I was in ROTC and presented a position paper and briefing on allowing homosexuals in the military. I got a C - "Good paper, but homosexuals should not be allowed in the military." I had various officers mention to me how they knew various people they had served with were gay men or women, but that people didn't care much about the women.
There were no questions after I gave my presentation to the class. The instructor surveyed the class to see who agreed with my presentation. Of the 10 members in the class, the 5 white males besides myself disagreed with it. The 3 women and one non-white male agreed with my position.

Feb. 04 2010 11:15 AM
Pliny from nyc

i think it is also lesbians who want marriage equality more then gay men.
and yes to -

Feb. 04 2010 11:13 AM
hjs from 11211

are there a lot of hermaphrodites trying to get into the military as Rep. Duncan Hunter suggests

Feb. 04 2010 11:12 AM
john from office

Voter, those same people die each day, to protect your hide. Move to Iran, they will treat you better. by hanging.

Feb. 04 2010 11:12 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

And Powell is irrelevant. He’s a day late and a dollar short both with Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and Iraq.

Feb. 04 2010 11:09 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

As I’ve said before, the problem with homosexual men in the military—that bastion of hot-blooded Americana where a man can prove his patriotism and virility in one shot (pun intended)—is that heterosexual servicemen are afraid homosexual servicemen will treat heterosexual servicemen the same way heterosexual servicemen treat the servicewomen.

Feb. 04 2010 11:08 AM

If they banned heterosexual men from entering the armed forces I wouldn't complain.

Feb. 04 2010 09:48 AM
john from office

Men have an easier time dealing with Gay women. They tend to be macho and easily become one of the guys. In my time on the police force i had a Gay female partner and she was highly qualified. I am not sure I could have had the same give and take with a gay man. Admitedly, I am probably wrong and was unaware of the gay men around me on the force. Any person, whatever their sexuality should be allowed to serve, THE END!

Feb. 04 2010 09:24 AM
smidely from

I preferred "Gay Women in the Military II"

Feb. 04 2010 07:28 AM

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