Streams

Making a Good Marriage Better

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

There is an entire industry out there hoping to create perfect, happy marriages. Elizabeth Weil’s, latest New York Times Magazine piece takes readers through her marriage classes, counseling, and self-help-book-filled journey to improve her mostly-good relationship with her husband. She discusses her experiences.

Guests:

Elizabeth Weil
News, weather, Radiolab, Brian Lehrer and more.
Get the best of WNYC in your inbox, every morning.

Comments [25]

derek from Manhattan

I too find this woman light-weight and self-congratulatory--same old NY Times/Park Slope/upper middle class stuff. Oh! You wrote a book too! That's great! Pass the organic, single batch Lapland Beer, please. I find WNYC increasingly in bed with the Times--there is more out there, guys!

Dec. 10 2009 12:24 PM
db from nyc

This is another example of this "exhibitionist lit" that seems to be proliferating.

Ayelet Waldman is another boring example:

http://www.wnyc.org/shows/lopate/episodes/2009/05/07/segments/131301.

I don't understand why WNYC is obligated to this stuff.

Dec. 08 2009 11:27 AM
hjs from 11211

16] the truth!!
what makes u so closed minded about so many issues?

Dec. 08 2009 11:16 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

LOL @ the outrage over this non-sense!

Dec. 08 2009 11:09 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

Brian,
A shameless exhibitionist doesn’t care if everyone knows her business, she has books to sell.

Dec. 08 2009 11:00 AM
jackie from NY

Hi,

I tried dream analysis with my spouse, and it was amazing. It cut through all the words and got to the crux of many issues.

The dreams also told us when it was time for us to split!

Dec. 08 2009 10:58 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

I agree Melanie,
It seems like the only reason she’s probably even married to begin with is potential book sales and guilt-free sex.
If it helps her sleep at night…

Dec. 08 2009 10:58 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

Open relationships...very common...its called dating!

Dec. 08 2009 10:55 AM
db from nyc

[8] MELANIE from Brooklyn:

... couldn't agree more!

Dec. 08 2009 10:55 AM
the truth!! from BKNY

It takes two and it takes work..from both sides. Should NEVER involve outsiders other than a counselor into this process!

Dec. 08 2009 10:55 AM
hjs from 11211

[8] MELANIE
harsh!

Dec. 08 2009 10:55 AM
Cory from Planet Earth

How could anyone be this self-absorbed?

Dec. 08 2009 10:54 AM
MELANIE from Brooklyn

This is a classic case of an upper middle class white woman with too much time and money on her hands... oh and she wants to write and book..;

Dec. 08 2009 10:54 AM
Kate from NJ

My husband and I were married in a Catholic church, so were required to take a compatibility test, have 2 sessions of "therapy" to go over the results, and 1 session of a sort of group therapy with other couples who were also engaged. The process itself was mostly helpful - it got us to discuss things we hadn't thought were important (how many kids to have, parenting styles, daily goings-on like who will cook and clean, etc.). Coincidentally the man who guided the 2 sessions was pretty sexist, so now we have that to laugh about together years later. I feel like pre-therapy is something everyone should do prior to getting married.

Dec. 08 2009 10:54 AM
db from nyc

... anything to sell a book.

zzzzzzzzzz!

"... fodder for writing". Indeed! Bravo, Brian!

Dec. 08 2009 10:53 AM
hjs from 11211

try this book
http://www.amazon.com/Our-Love-Good-Feel-Prescriptions/dp/0380795779/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_4#noop

Dec. 08 2009 10:52 AM
Neil from Astoria, Queens

OK, so there's no price on the perfect marriage (well, kind of) but how much did all this marriage / sex / love / therapy counseling COST?!

Dec. 08 2009 10:51 AM
MELANIE from Brooklyn

This is a classic case of an upper middle class white woman with too much money and time on her hands.

Dec. 08 2009 10:51 AM
SH from Brooklyn, NY

Can she give the information of the sex therapist?

Dec. 08 2009 10:51 AM
Mike

A good marriage is simple. The wife has to put out and the husband has to say yes, dear to everything.

Dec. 08 2009 10:50 AM
Jennifer from brooklyn, ny

My husband and I went to 5 different therapists to find a good one and only one of them was good. He is a cognitive therapist, and the first thing I noticed was he didn't have a sit next to each other on a couch but instead we all sat in chairs in a triangle so that my husband and I had to tell each other eye to eye are feelings. It saved our marriage.

Dec. 08 2009 10:50 AM
Voter from Brooklyn

Brian,
You ask what same-sex couples want to get themselves into?
Basic fairness in:
Taxation
Adoption rights
Parental rights
Property rights
Contract law
Insurance
Social Security
Inheritance
Medical decisions
Immigration
The list goes on…
Derision is easy, true understanding (especially when everything is given to you without question) isn’t so much so.

Dec. 08 2009 10:50 AM
Jo from new york, ny

It may work as a segue between shows, but new jersey is voting on something much larger than marriage. its equality under the law for gays and lesbians who have been denied equal rights. whether or not new jersey does the right thing and equalizes marriage laws, gays and lesbians will continue to have long term relationships -- i wouldn't assume that the heterosexual world will teach us anything we haven't been able to learn on our own.

Dec. 08 2009 10:47 AM
hjs from 11211


how common are open relationships?

Dec. 08 2009 10:47 AM
ivan from nyc

PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE BRIAN,

ASK MS. WEILS THAT QUESTION FOR ME?.
IS THERE REALLY LOVE WITH A PRENUPTIAL?.
I WILL BE LISTENING TO THE ANSWER. IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR ME. I HAVE NOT HEARD ANYBODY DISCUSS THAT SUBJECT WHEN IT COMES TO INFIDELITY..BECAUSE I THINK A PRENUPTIAL IS AN EXTRA POWER THAT YOU HAVE AGAINST YOUR PARTNER TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT..
THE COMPENSATION IS MONEY...PLEASE ANSWER

Dec. 08 2009 10:37 AM

Leave a Comment

Register for your own account so you can vote on comments, save your favorites, and more. Learn more.
Please stay on topic, be civil, and be brief.
Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments. Names are displayed with all comments. We reserve the right to edit any comments posted on this site. Please read the Comment Guidelines before posting. By leaving a comment, you agree to New York Public Radio's Privacy Policy and Terms Of Use.