Writing January wish lists is much more fun than trying to sum up the past decade. Here are 10 things that will never happen in 2010:
1. Alvin Ailey announces plans for its annual City Center season – sans "Revelations." There are riots in the streets.
2. Broadway houses and producers form a pact not to bring in celebrity "actors" simply to sell shows.
3. Progressive performance venues pool resources to bring Lady Gaga in for a downtown tour.
4. Major funders begin giving out "less with more" grants, to support quality over quantity on New York stages and begin allowing artists to make a living wage.
5. The NEA grows balls.
6. Not to be outdone by Ailey, New York City Ballet unveils a season without Balanchine or Robbins.
7. Theaters find better ways to make like museums and galleries and let the public in for free at least some of the time. Especially those already getting public monies.
8. David H. Koch’s doppelganger makes the current owners of 66 Wooster Street an offer they can’t refuse, and mandates that the Ohio Theatre stay there for all eternity.
9. The Brooklyn Academy of Music has a true Next Wave festival, to which the Robert Wilsons and Akram Khans of this world need not apply.
10. America's performing arts centers begin another round of capital campaigns – so they can knock down their behemoth, outmoded theaters and begin building small, flexible spaces where real art—not just endless tours of “Wicked”—happens. Or they—and their funders— just give all their money to the great institutions already doing this. The only catch? That these spaces not use the money to serve their edifice complexes.