"Sexting" and the City

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Susan Lipkins, NY-based psychologist and "sexting" expert, addresses the question, "Some politicians have a thing for sending lewd photographs and racy text messages, but what about the rest of us?"


Susan Lipkins

Comments [104]

Gaetano Catelli from America

@SoupyGirl, re: "A 'sexting expert'? Really? Enough already, spend the airtime discussing real issues not this pop psychology crap. 'Sexting' is not a new level of anything it's the same old stuff cloaked in a new, faster medium."

imo, the phrase "psychology crap" is disrespectful of one of NYC's most widely held faith traditions. although a non-religionist myself, i try to be respectful of all religions, even the ones that make the most ridiculous claims, such as the one under discussion.

as someone who has given the matter no small amount of thought, over no small number of years, my tentative conclusion is that anyone who believes s/he can explain human sexuality does not realize how complicated and contradictory the subject is.

Jun. 12 2011 09:19 AM

good god, i'm sure that when the world is ending due to nuclear war or environmental destruction, we'll be discussing some idiotic sex scandal or other.

these scandals or more or less a weekly occurrence, not linked to any particular party, location, race, etc. the common denominator? politicians! they're for the most part a pretty scuzzy, narcissistic, dishonest bunch. who else would want that job?

as far as i'm concerned, the only significance of these scandals is that, when committed by moral conservatives, they give the lie to absurd posturing about "family values".

a final note about breitbart -- the man is a cancer on society. truly vile.

Jun. 08 2011 05:02 PM
B. from NYC

For mgduke from nyc it's really "too bad" that Brian didn't orient the segment to topics that he wanted to have it be about. What a pity. Given the level of his rhetoric, I am surprised that it wasn't a crime against humanity. Of course, mgduke from nyc's apparent need to bluster should not be considered "pathological." That wouldn't serve his interests.

Jun. 08 2011 03:56 PM
mgduke from nyc

It’s too bad that Lehrer oriented this segment so much toward sexual power dynamics, obscuring the significant issues of Weiner’s abuse of his office, and of his demonstrating bad judgment so extreme in both the sexting and the lying about it as to show himself unfit to hold any position of political power.

Did Lehrer set it up this way to direct attention away from the substantive issues so as to protect Weiner, with whom he seems to have a strong affinity?

Will WNYC please produce a segment focussing on the significant issues in this case, starting with:
--Weiner’s sleazy exploitation of his political stature to get his sexual kicks, tarnishing and selling out his elected office. (Does anyone doubt that he spent a lot of time sexting when he should have been working--the kind of conduct for which even low level clerks with limited responsibilities are fired on the spot?)
--His mature judgment (three-years-long, he says) that he could sext out reams of porno chat and photos of himself in this day and age without being ultimately exposed, which is so deranged as to indicate that he is out of touch with reality.
--His sociopathic persistence in lying even after he had tweeted the cat out of the bag and knew that there was widespread evidence of his lies primed to pop up.
--His mewling press conference with incredible protestations of concern for wife, friends, constituents, staff, etc., whereas it was patent that his tears were for himself alone and the shambles he has made of his career.
--His being under the thumb from here to eternity of anyone who holds any of the more explicit sexts that he sent out.

Jun. 08 2011 03:30 PM
mgduke from nyc

Getting a chance to read the comment thread evokes a few responses of my own to keep the colloquy rolling:

@ Soupygirl--

When you want to make a great soup, don’t you start with a clean pot, flushed of any putrid old crap that would ruin what you want to cook? The desperately needed issues that you want to address are exactly why we need to flush out sleazy and corrupt politicians, of whom Weiner isn’t the worst, but he’s the one currently asking for it, and will provide basis for going after the next, and the next.

@ hjs11211

You challenge my posting that “Sexting is for puritans, robots, and eunuchs” to ask who is paying for all the internet porn. QED, eh?

@ Elizabeth Hull--

Does it have to be either/or, isn’t there plenty of outer darkness for culprits of all flavors, big stinky cheese like Kissinger and little stinky cheese like Weiner? And how humane and progressive is Weiner’s rabid support of Israeli apartheid and unlawful Lebensraum policies, by which he betrays the crucial interests of the USA as wee seek to establish just and lasting peace in the Middle East?

@Jane from Brooklyn--

Isn’t what Weiner does far stronger evidence of what he stands for than much of his histrionic speechifying? As for effectiveness--what noble objectives has he ever accomplished in office? Not that NYC doesn’t need more visas for hot foreign models, but still. And you realize, of course, don’t you, that he will always be under the thumb of whomever has copies of as yet unreleased “explicit” photos and sexts that he sent?

@Catherine from NYC--

Okay, everyone you know and associate with would have lied; but please stop presuming that everybody else is so cowardly and dishonest.

@Marc Palatt--

The puritan here is Weiner. Who else would try to get his kicks sexting instead of using the same time to enjoy the real thing? (And try not to aspirate your vomit: “holier than thou” is exactly the stance you’re taking.)

Jun. 08 2011 03:23 PM

I find it all this much ado about nothing. The only things I find disturbing is that he'd did this as a married man and then lied about it. Then again, he's a politician, so maybe it came easier to him.

There is a big difference between the opinions expressed as a function of age. I get the impression that if you're under 40, you see sending photos of yourself naked via social media as ok despite the risk of having those photos going all over the web. Seems kind of naive.

It may be that there was a relationship here. What role, if any, did the woman play here? Did she send him any pics? Did she invite or encourage this in any way? Then both are complicit.

Many a good man has gone over the bridge by a woman, intentionally or otherwise.

Jun. 08 2011 02:11 PM

>Perhaps it's time for a show on misandy
and men's rights.

You know, I actually agree with this. Would be incredibly interesting because I think sometimes women just sort of accept this idea that men need to be fixed (I think the guest even said as much) so they can learn to see sex and a variety of other things our way. Crazy. And then the way the doctor said: well these are all men calling in saying they don't care about the sexting itself, but I wonder what the women callers would think. The doctor just makes so many assumptions about men versus women. Yeah, I would def like to hear a show on maybe how certain women have a knee-jerk reaction against men, male norms, men's rights, etc.

Jun. 08 2011 01:13 PM
B. from NYC

Sorry, but I did find myself wondering what world Ms. Dowd lives in. As a man, it seems to me that women quite often enforce the power dynamics of male/female relationships. Often the first words out of their mouths are about perceptions of power. If the man doesn't re-enforce those perceptions, or just can't back them up in the real world of bourgeois money and power, off they go back into the gene pool to find someone else who can. Not a good thing. Not a bad thing. Just a real thing. I could want it to be otherwise, and have. But then I could also want to fly. Is it the injustice of life that I can't?

Jun. 08 2011 01:09 PM
Time for a show on Misandry ? from NYC

Perhaps it's time for a show on misandy
and men's rights.

Your guest seemed to show a common cultural bias against normal male sexuality.
It is so engrained that these stereotypes are rarely examined or addressed.

Many major media in recent weeks have published broad stereotypes - even on their
covers suggesting "all men are pigs" and
other slurs which - if made about any other
group would be immediately recognized as hate speech.

Perhaps it is time to address this double-standard. In today's show we see how normal male sexual behavior is widely demonized. Adult women are portrayed as weak innocent children who need protection from predatory older males - even when it is clear that there was no
power relationship or abuse of power
and the interactions were two way and
consensual. These scandals almost
exclusively harm males - even though
women are also involved in such activities.
Often the damage to a male's life and career are grossly in excess of the "crime".
Cultural norms that typically require men
to initiate flirtation and contact - expose men to abuse. Cultural norms that men avoid "airing their dirty laundry in public" expose them to be set up legally and treated as "lying" when they are merely avoiding exposing themselves and following the cultural norm of being discrete. Cultural presumptions and
draconian Common Law dating back to
before women were economically and politically empowered and before the existence of safe and effective contraception and before DNA paternity testing grossly discriminate against and harm men (including making them responsible for children that result from
a wife's infidelities in marriage).

Perhaps it's time for a show on misandy
and men's rights.

Jun. 08 2011 12:29 PM
Time for a show on Misandry ? (Ctd) from NYC

On a more minor note, your guest neglected to acknowledge clear biological differences between males and females
honed by millions of years of evolutionary

**Clearly, culture does play a major role in determining most of human behavior.

Clearly, biological/evolutionary explanations of behavior have been widely

But, MATE SELECTION - is one area where biological/evolutionary factors are
unlikely to be SILENT.

Again, this is not to say that cultural forces are not also fundamental - they are - merely that biological differences do matter
here and should be considered.
Males *tend* to value younger mates - who do have higher reproductive fitness.
Females *tend* to value powerful males
higher on the social pecking-order.
Biologically and evolutionarily, it is also less
important if a male is older than if a female is older in terms of reproductive fitness.

This mate preference TENDENCY has held broadly - not only across cultures and times - but even across species to other social animals.

Again this is not to in any way diminish the
fundamental importance of culture, but merely to acknowledge that there ARE
biological/evolutionary differences between
men and women and that mating behavior
is an area where will tend to observe them
more strongly.

*BOTH* sexes have an evolutionary/biological interest in controlling
the sexuality of the other. Males to find more mating opportunities, and females to
restrict the alternative mating opportunities
of their mates to focus their attention and resources on their shared offspring.

Again - these are TENDENCIES - modified
by strong cultural forces and INDIVIDUAL differences. Nevertheless, the should not be ignored.

Perhaps it's time for a show on misandy
and men's rights.

Jun. 08 2011 12:28 PM
Nick from Mantattan from NYC

We give priests, politicians, movie stars and sports figures an elevated stature vis a vis morality that they may, or may not posses. Then we excoriate them when they don't live up to that "standard". I don't remember Mr. Weiner ever stating that he was more moral than the average human being.No hypocrisy, here.
Where on earth did you get this, "expert"? She sounds like a bitter manhater. Middleage men have power over younger women? It's quite the opposite. Younger, attractive women make fools of older men much more easily.

Jun. 08 2011 11:55 AM
uscdadnyc from Queens NY

To: Soupygirl.
What is there to "Hate"? Only Sympathy. You "judge" b/f a proper hearing. I only have Sympathy for you. I live in America (Queens, NY). Where do you live?

Jun. 08 2011 11:45 AM

@uscdadnyc from Queens NY

Oh puh-leeze! It was pretty obvious what this segment was going to be about and it turned out was right!

Don't be hatin' 'cause I beat you to the punchline! ;~)

Jun. 08 2011 11:33 AM
uscdadnyc from Queens NY

To: Soupygirl and her supporters.
Soupygirl posted her initial comment b/f the BL segment aired. Is this the type of person you really want to have her own (Radio) Show? Think About It.

Jun. 08 2011 11:30 AM
ray from red bank

one of the problems with this country is that we are so prudish to issues of sex. sexual proclativity or preference has nothing to do with someones ability to get their job done. the idea that members of congress should be held to a higher moral standard than the rest of the public is ridiculous. they are human and sexuality is human. voting for someone based on "high morals" is not only counter-productive, it is stupid and should have no place in politics.

as far as we know, anthony weiner has not committed a crime. he should not resign. it should be up to his constituents whether or not he gets elected to another term because afterall, he is supposed to be serving them. as for the republicans, eric cantor, reince preibus, et all, who are calling for him to step down, they are being hypocritical because there was no similiar call for resignation when their fellow republicans (who actually broke the law) were caught in their sex scandals (sen. john ensign and gov. mark sanford). this is just partisan politics and has nothing to do with congressman weiners ability to do his job.

brian read from an article by maureen dawd stating that congressman weiner was objectifying women by his actions. however, in the same article she claims that one woman, representative weiners wife, was "up" while the porn star was "down." isnt this just the pot calling the kettle black? the feminist movement is about EQUAL rights for ALL women. the fact that a woman can be "up" or "down" because of their career, i think, is the antithesis of the womens movement.

i dont like how congressman weiner lied about his actions, but the fact is, he has not committed any crime, that we know of, therefore he should not step down from his position.

Jun. 08 2011 11:29 AM
boomer from Nyc

I am feminist female in my mid-thirties and totally disagree with guest regarding power between men and women. Regardless of their age, the Weiner women volunteered to become engaged in this behavior. It was consensual.They were not forced.

The guest does a disservice to women by assuming that women in their 20’s do not have the ability to know exactly what they are getting into, and to imply that somehow they are victims, when they CONSENT to receive explicit photos from an individual. This guest perpetuates a stupid notion about women and takes the responsibility for their consensual actions off their shoulders. It is not okay to willingly engage in sexual behavior, then hide behind the victim mentality when the heat is on. It makes women look disingenuous and puts us in danger of not being taken seriously when we are truly preyed upon, sexually assaulted, attacked and raped. This so called scandal is a personal issue between Weiner and his wife. He is a good politician. He should not resign.

Jun. 08 2011 11:22 AM
gary from queens

The greatest "crime" here is that Weiner was engaged on social networks when he should have been reading the legislation he voted for and mundane things like that. You know, doing his actual job we hired him to do.

Everyone knows that tweeting and facebook is email on steroids----it's an incredible time sink.

And to "rachel from brooklyn", Weiner apologized to Breitbart.

Jun. 08 2011 11:18 AM
Ricky from Lefferts Gardens

Everything I have to say about Anthony Weiner has already been said, but I would like to comment on some of the listeners' responses that were on the air. As a Queer transgender man who is concerned for women's rights, I a disagree with notion that women who objectify themselves are anti-feminist, and I disagree with referring to dating porn stars as "dating down". I believe it is important to distinguish between a coerced behavior caused by a power dynamic, and a well-informed and consensual one. I'm hearing an assumption that all women who objectify themselves are giving into the power imbalance. That assumption implies that women are not capable of making informed choices and do not have the social right to express their sexuality however they wish. I recognize that sometimes the objectification is coerced, unsafe, and a result of an unfair power structure, but it is sexist to assume that this is always the case.

Jun. 08 2011 11:14 AM
Joe Denaro from Manhattan

Right on Elizabeth of Millburn!
How do you spell,"Mission Accomplished"?? How many LIVES were lost unnecessarily by Weiner's texting?

Jun. 08 2011 11:14 AM
Marc Palatt from Long Beach, NY

Oh, Puh-leeeeeeze!!

The rest of the world is laughing at us...

Only in America (and Taliban-dominated areas) is there such a thing as the Religious Right.

It's the HYPOCRISY that frosts me....

It can all be summed up in one simple phrase....

When the New World was settled, Brazil got the Cariocas, Australia got the Convicts, and..WE got the PURITANS.

All this "holier than thou" claptrap makes me want to vomit.

Jun. 08 2011 11:13 AM
Martin Chuzzlewit from Manhattan

@ BECKY...
What's with your repeated racist comments recently about "white men"?
Today, they are "perverted white men"
The other day, Weiner was "another lying, cheating white man whoring around the city". (You can look that up.)
The moderators should stop this, as you are becoming more flagrant.

If you are a bitter, angry, resentful black woman.....I'm sorry, but you deal with it. Don't start racial smearing here.

Jun. 08 2011 11:12 AM
AES from NYC

Can you please start getting guests not stuck in politically correct time warps? I don't even like Weiner (always thought too smarmy, in a Brooklyn Mitt Romney sort of way), but the judgement I am doubting this morning is the person's who booked this guest.

Jun. 08 2011 11:09 AM
Marc D. Palatt from Long Beach, New York

Oh, Puh-leeeeeze!!

The rest of the world is laughing at us. Only here, (and the Taliban) is there such a thing as the 'religious right"....

This can all be summed up in one simple phrase..

When the New World was settled, Brazil got the Cariocas, Australia got the Convicts, and...we got the PURITANS...

All this "Holier Than Thou" crap makes me want to vomit.

Jun. 08 2011 11:05 AM

I think the doctor was totally off about the whole power dynamic between young women and older men. The professor-caller was right: you can make the power argument in institutional settings, but on the Internet, no. I don't care that he is powerful and the young girls would have known that. If Taylor Lautner tries to pick up on a girl his own age, there will STILL be a power imbalance there because he's famous. There will always be power imbalances in sexual interactions to some extent or another. These old-school feminists seem to be so obsessed with that. Younger women, I think, are generally aware when they are attracted to a man because of his fame or power, and I think we're okay with that. We aren't naive and in need of protection from older-woman. More often than not, we're making a choice. But I guess that's just too hard to believe.

Jun. 08 2011 11:02 AM

He hasn't done anything illegal..just stupid. It's not the same as prostitution, rape, or taking advantage of women who work for him.

Jun. 08 2011 11:00 AM
Nick from Jersey

Why do we hold politicians on to sexually moral standards. What about politicians who voted against Zadroga Act or those who voted for torture or ones who use there status to take advantage of the working and middle classes.

Jun. 08 2011 11:00 AM
judy from nyc

His behavior was just tacky and stupid. Any one of those women could post the pictures on line at any time. I certainly wouldn't vote for him for mayor, which is too bad, because I like his politics.

Jun. 08 2011 11:00 AM
Catherine from New York City

This is precisely the same situation as Clinton was in and he more than survived. Of course the man lied, everyone would have and I find people's outrage to be amusing, because people all speak as though they would have behaved differently.

I understand what the guest says about feminist outrage being greater with Gary Hart than now - but I think it's possible that feminists in earlier years were... maybe a bit too prudish? Maybe not, but it's a possibility.

Jun. 08 2011 10:58 AM
uscdadnyc from Queens

When NYS redistricting takes effect, I hope I am not in the same Congressional District as the 72-yr Old Caller Howard. What a Pervert! Maybe I could be wrong. Maybe Howard is "Sexting" w/ his wife, but he did not qualify it. Maybe Howard is "Sexting" w/ his daughter, but he did not qualify it. Howard flaunted his perversity w/ Anonymity. What a Coward!

Jun. 08 2011 10:58 AM
The Truth from Becky

Who cares, doesn't matter if he resigns..there will be another perverted white man in power to replace him. Watch.

Jun. 08 2011 10:56 AM
Jon from West Harlem

We're making a big deal because Anthony Weiner got caught, but I would guess that about 25% of men in America, and probably 50% of men under the age of 40 are sex addicts, to one degree or another, at this point. We have a sex-infused culture, with the Huffington Post running babes-in-bikinis features practically every day, anonymity everywhere on the internet, and thousands of adult web sites streaming fullscreen pornography for free. We think it is freedom, but in reality we have enslaved ourselves to sex. The reality is that millions of men cannot healthily handle the amount of sexual stimulation we are exposed to in our society.

Jun. 08 2011 10:55 AM
Wayne Johnson from Brooklyn

Sexist response. Dr. Lipkin joins Dowd in beating up on men. As if the women in his life were not free and able to engage and choose their own sexual enjoyment.

Jun. 08 2011 10:55 AM
3rd wave feminist from manhattan

inflated ego, abuse of power, perversion, stupidity, cheating, betrayal, lying are not qualities i want in a leader. DSK, Edwards, and all the rest show a disrespect or worse for women. why support them? throw the bum(s) out!

Jun. 08 2011 10:54 AM
skeptiGal from gowanus

This idea that feminists don't indulge in or participate in sexting or pornography is extremely old fashioned. Also, this conversation is leaving out the idea that women, young and old, can be extremely sexually demanding and aggressive, "like men".
Perhaps Weiner and his wife have always had an understanding, they're both democratic heavy hitters, their marriage could be an alliance.


Jun. 08 2011 10:54 AM
caro on uws from manhattan

inflated ego, abuse of power, perversion, stupidity, cheating, betrayal, lying are not qualities i want in a leader. DSK, Edwards, and all the rest show a disrespect or worse for women. why support them? throw the bum(s) out! -3rd wave feminist

Jun. 08 2011 10:53 AM
Ken from Little Neck

There seems to be a big generational divide here. My wife and I are in our late 20s, and while we think what Weiner did was pretty stupid, we don't see it as a big scandal. We also don't see any distinction between gender here - both men and women are doing it, and neither is taking advantage of the other.

In short, people are sexual beings. Deal with it.

Jun. 08 2011 10:53 AM
donna from bk

completely disagree with your guest about the power issue. she seems to be saying that a younger woman cannot have an equal relationship with an older man. the last guest made a valid point: a 40yr old professor and his 20 yr old student is a problem, yes; but a 40 yr old prof and a 20yr old he meets at a bar (or online) should not be a problem...

Jun. 08 2011 10:53 AM
Nanas80 from Long Island, NY

I think these women knew exactly what they were doing when they got involved with Anthony Weiner online. They were probably attracted to him because he was in a position of power, but this doesn't mean that they are victims in any way. Groupies are groupies no matter what sphere you are in. Also, it has nothing to do with the fact that they are women - there are male groupies too. It works both ways.

Jun. 08 2011 10:52 AM
Natalia Reyes from bushwick

the sexual objectification of women, and of men for that matter is larger cultural problem and I dont think its fair to expect Mr. Wiener to be held to a higher moral standard than the average internet cybersexer. However the issue that does worry me in Mr. Wieners case is his insane lack of judgement. This is someone who is trusted to make desicions for the public good and is so out of touch that he thinks he can send twitter sexts and not get caught?? give me a break.

Jun. 08 2011 10:51 AM
sean from brooklyn

What happens when it comes to light that he was texting on the floor of the house during a debate?

Jun. 08 2011 10:51 AM
Jane from Brooklyn

I'm Anthony's Weiner's constituent, and I'd vote for him again. I'm repulsed by his behavior, but Mr. Weiner stands for all things that I stand for, and there are so few of outspoken progressives around. I am concerned though about how effective he's going to be in the future as a senator.
I do hope he stays in the office.

Jun. 08 2011 10:51 AM
Bill from New York City

Can we all (especially the guest) please grow up and stop being so Puritanical?

Weiner is an idiot and has poor judgement and, if I was his wife, I'd be pissed. That said, this nonsense about younger women being powerless and Weiner being in power is just politically correct nonsense, especially now when women are more than 50% of graduates from higher education, have their own careers, etc. I find the guests analysis insulting to women, frankly.

He is not their Professor or boss. People have sexual proclivities and this sounds like an older woman stuck in the sixties complaining that a younger woman might peak an older man's interest.

Jun. 08 2011 10:51 AM
tim from fishkill ny

The power thing can go both ways, no? Certainly there are predators and abusers (e.g., DSK). There are also woman who use the power of their sexuality over men to get what they want.

Jun. 08 2011 10:50 AM
Steve from Brooklyn

What about the young women who are using the sexuality to get ahead? As a young man who isn't using his limited power to advance his sex life, I'm sick of watching these women get all the advantages in the work place.

Jun. 08 2011 10:50 AM
rachel from brooklyn

What bothers me is that no one is talking about Andrew Breitbart. Whatever one thinks of Weiner's actions, they were not illegal and frankly, not a threat to our democracy. But Andrew Breitbart's actions are upsetting on a whole other level. Remember the ACORN scandal that he dreamed up? The Shirley Sherrod mishegos? He seems to exist solely to undermine progressive causes and the democratic party.

Jun. 08 2011 10:50 AM
sabrina French from nyc

What about the constant LYING in our political system, lying about Iraq war, lying about how lowering taxes will help the economy. Weiner has a flaw and he needs to address it personally but I'd rather have his type lie than Bush's or Boehner's, etc.

Jun. 08 2011 10:50 AM
gary from nyc

this psychologist has it ass backward about who has the "power", young vibrant sexual females obviously have the power if they are able to continually get men to do make such poor decisions and act on their insecure sexual identities..

Jun. 08 2011 10:49 AM

I am very unclear here. I took a good look at his wife. She is beautiful. 12 years younger than him and they are newlyweds.

Is it strange to wonder if there are better things for Anthony Weiner to be doing on a Saturday night with his beautiful wife instead of twetting about hockey or texting, or sending photos of himself to stranger.

I know what I would be doing and I wouldn't be on a computer.

Sorry folks the real thing is better!!!

Jun. 08 2011 10:49 AM

Agree comment Elizabeth Hull re Kissinger... hope you guys also revisit the magnitude of NJ Gov. Christie recent backing out of NJ's promise to dramatically reduce reliance on fossil fuels by 2020.

Jun. 08 2011 10:49 AM
ricann BOCK from Cold Spring

One thing I think makes "WienerGate" more potent or icky is the addition of the visual element. As far as I know, no other sex scandal in congress has involved pictures.

Jun. 08 2011 10:49 AM
Rebecca from Queens

I'm in my mid-thirties. None of my female friends care at all about this news story. Adults's just boring. And no, we don't mind porn either.

Jun. 08 2011 10:49 AM

this woman is crazy
is every may-november relationship about power?

brian how is the economy today

Jun. 08 2011 10:49 AM

Maureen Down should not be taken seriously on the topic of feminism.

Or any topic for that matter

Jun. 08 2011 10:48 AM
JT from LI

Just wondering: has any politician that stayed in office after a scandal like this been able to do their job effectively? Are others willing to work with them and get things done or do they end up just filling a position until the next election?

Jun. 08 2011 10:48 AM

Brian, "Shock and grief"? C'mon.

Jun. 08 2011 10:48 AM
tc from westchester

I have no interest in seeing the pics or reading the tweets but I do know this, there's no dialing back with sex talk, it's supposed to be explicit and hot...The female sexpert with the 70's feminist point of view is just silly, there is no feminist PC in sex talk between consenting adults...The idea of PC sex talk sounds like a saturday night live bit.

Jun. 08 2011 10:48 AM
Chico from NJ

I do not agree that older hetero men interested in younger women is automatically predatory. Men in their teens get interested in women their age (or looking that age), and usually find women their mom's age not attractive. That gets internalized subconsciously and doesn't change easily. Guys get older, but their internal image of attraction stays focused on younger women. We don't suddenly decide that older looking women are hot. We may make efforts to do so, but it's not easy to fight that biology.

Jun. 08 2011 10:47 AM

he represents us. he is not a god

Jun. 08 2011 10:47 AM

A professor has power over a student. There's the fear that if she refuses him, she will suffer for it.

What power did Weiner have over these women?

I'm creeped out by older men/younger women generally, but that's a different matter.

Jun. 08 2011 10:47 AM
Gwiz from NJ

Weiner's actions reek of the elitist attitude prevalent in Washington. It's clear he views his standards and judgement to be above our mortal grasps. As a public figure portending to represent his constituency in all matters- moral, ethical, community, social ethics and goals- he's responsible to reveal this aspect of what he considers recreation.

Jun. 08 2011 10:47 AM

It's time to make Susan Faludi's Backlash mandatory reading in American high schools.

Jun. 08 2011 10:47 AM
Chico from NJ

I do not agree that older hetero men interested in younger women is automatically predatory. Men in their teens get interested in women their age (or looking that age), and usually find women their mom's age not attractive. That gets internalized subconsciously and doesn't change easily. Guys get older, but their internal image of attraction stays focused on younger women. We don't suddenly decide that older looking women are hot. We may make efforts to do so, but it's not easy to fight that biology.

Jun. 08 2011 10:47 AM
William from Manhattan

For a psychologist and sexting expert, does the guest sound inappropriately judgmental and emotionally invested in the topic?

Jun. 08 2011 10:46 AM

why does the gues assume that the women were not engaging in this behavior voluntarily?? what does it matter if the women are in their 20's or 30's or 40s???

Jun. 08 2011 10:45 AM
sp from NYC

Where did you find this "expert"? She says this is "the same as an affair"? It may be deplorable, but let's try not to be hyperbolic.

Jun. 08 2011 10:45 AM

who are all these men stexting with?

Jun. 08 2011 10:44 AM
k from manhattan

20-somethings look up to 40-somethings?! From my middle aged POV, that would be a huge "no".

For the record, I could care less about Weiner's scandal. People's hysteria over "discovering" a politician lying is silly and disingenuous.

Jun. 08 2011 10:44 AM
Kat from Brooklyn

Seems like a set-up. It was consensual. Who cares. I'm a woman and am not bothered by this. I think that the media has an unhealthy obsession with the sexual activity of politicians.

Jun. 08 2011 10:44 AM
Brad from Prospect Heights

hjs11211 - You don't think in a certain sense he is held to a higher standard because he is in a position to very publicly humiliate his family members?

Its personal. However, because it became public his actions have a much different impact. Thats the RISK that he assumes as a public figure. He is by definition open to more scrutiny. While I think its a complete waste of time to discuss this issue [maybe not such a waste for political opponents] this is the reality.

Jun. 08 2011 10:44 AM
The Truth from Becky

IRA - please don't leave Arnold off your list!

Jun. 08 2011 10:43 AM
Jason from Secaucus

Your guest keeps referring to the standards of a politician. I think that is a huge oxymoron.

Jun. 08 2011 10:42 AM
shaskell from 10013

Isn't this a private matter?
If these relationships had been conducted through the mail (postal service) wouldn't it be his private business......would we be talking about this? What about men who have relations with magazine photos.....sort of a strange combination of the two with texting photos.......stupid.....yes......but.......
not sure any legal lines were crossed here.

Jun. 08 2011 10:41 AM
gary from queens

Naturally, conservatives are enjoying his misery, because Weiner is HARD left (no pun intended).

But there is the danger of making this THING larger than it actually is (no pun intended).

With the drip drip drip of disclosures, it's HARD to tell when this affair will CUM to a HEAD (no pun intended).

But I agree with the Daily News: Weiner is DEAD MEAT (no pun intended).

The added risk of doing what Weiner did is that if you name is "Weiner", "Dick", "Woodcock", "Cockburn", or "Hancock", then the scandal will have LEGS (no pun intended, if you think about it).

--- Gary (no pun intended).

Jun. 08 2011 10:41 AM
Leah from Brooklyn

Of course politicians should have high moral standards. Anthony Weiner has consistently stood up for issues most politicians seem to ignore, such as the Zadroga Bill. THAT is the moral fiber we need in politics.

Jun. 08 2011 10:41 AM

You know Brian , like our moms told us... just because a lot of people do it it isn't alright.
Your guest is a moral relativist.

I am involved in the technology of social media, I been managing 20 somethings and teaching twenty somethings and the lack of morality among these folks is appalling. I regularly try to mention adultery to young Married men who feel that getting some is ok. They don't think they are committing adultery. So sexting is common but is it ok?
Let's put it this way, if I found out that an applicant was sexting I would probably not hire them.
Women send even more lewder messages and pictures than guys do.

I couldn't trust them in the little things nor in the big things. That's what a Rabbi in the past told us.

To say that Weiner isn't doing anything wrong is wrong. He lied to us. I would never vote for Weiner as a mayor because the mayor has a lot more scope for power and for doing a lot more collateral damage.

Jun. 08 2011 10:41 AM


you are officially ready for a morning show (like Kathy Lee Gifford's) on TV, with a cup of coffee and gabbing with uninteresting guests.

Honestly, you can do better. I've been listening to you many, many years and the quality of the show is slipping.

Jun. 08 2011 10:40 AM

So the feminist don’t want women to have the right to share their bodies?

Jun. 08 2011 10:39 AM
Ann Honeymoss from Texarkana, TX

Sex between consenting adults is not a public issue. But, by lying, rep. Weiner made it a public issue. What will he say about the public trust? Seems he would break it and lye to cover it up.

Jun. 08 2011 10:39 AM
Elizabeth Hull from Millburn, New Jersey

Yesterday I heard on NPR that another country, assembling a high-level Consul on Ethics, asked Henry Kissinger to be a member. Henry Kissinger----war criminal extraordinaire. That should arouse our indigation---not Anthony Weiner's slimy exploits. Weiner's public policy, which ultimately should trump all other concerns, has been consistently humane and progressive. Kissinger and his ilk may or may not be pristine in their personal lives---but the policies they have furthered have been destructive.

Jun. 08 2011 10:39 AM
sp from NYC

Vitter, involved with hookers, still in office; Rangel, a tax cheat and crook, still in office. What's the question here?

Jun. 08 2011 10:39 AM

First rule of House Code of Conduct -
1. A Member, Delegate, Resident Commissioner, officer, or employee of the House shall conduct himself at all times in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House.

How the heck is his conduct credible within this rule?

Jun. 08 2011 10:37 AM
Brad from Prospect Heights

ALSO: I don't mean to say that holding public figures to a higher standard is fair. However, the reality is that media outlets and political opponents have so much incentive to turn these types of incidents into an issue.

Jun. 08 2011 10:37 AM
Bill from Harlem

If Weiner had sent "lewd" photos via Twitter and the recipients were under 18, Weiner could be nailed on sending pornographic materials to children, so-called "sexting". Big trouble. He'll be chilling in jail with John Edwards and DSK. That's why WNYC Democrats should care.

Jun. 08 2011 10:36 AM

u hypocrite.

Jun. 08 2011 10:36 AM
Elizabeth from Queens

Was it predatory? Were there minors involved? If not, let it go. I like his politics.

Jun. 08 2011 10:36 AM

@Martin Chuzzlewit from Manhattan

I rarely agree with you, but in this case I do!

Jun. 08 2011 10:36 AM
Martin Chuzzlewit from Manhattan

I agree with SOUPYGIRL.....

"Sexting" expert indeed.

What a spoiled, frivolous, clueless culture we have devolved into.

We have a President who has no idea how to change this trainwreck of an economy (and who fired his economic advisor 2 days ago)....and the BLS is producing this pop drivel.

Jun. 08 2011 10:35 AM
Ira from Park Slope

I am a demoralized progressive Democrat. Although both parties have their political scandals, the Democrats’ stars seem to explode in the night sky more spectacularly than others. Witness these “progressives”:

- Bill Clinton (Monica)
- Elliott Spitzer (hookers)
- John Edwards (love child; using campaign money to hide it)
- Barney Frank (caught with male prostitutes)
- Charlie Rangel (four rent-controlled apts.; tax evasion)
- William Jefferson (the Louisiana Rep. with cold cash in his frig.)
- Hiram Monserrate (smashing a bottle across his girlfriend’s head)
- Pedro Pasada (basic scam artist)

...and now Weinergate

Jun. 08 2011 10:34 AM
Matt from Brooklyn

He's a sex addict. Pure and simple, end of story, classic case. Garden variety, even. People need to accept that addiction, especially sex addiction, is profoundly present in our culture, and sex addiction related to internet forms of sex, even more.

Jun. 08 2011 10:34 AM

Weiner’s sexting was not a private act.

He was exploiting his political stature to get his kicks, essentially selling his office.

Jun. 08 2011 10:34 AM

it's private. brian stop making it an issue

Jun. 08 2011 10:34 AM
RLewis from the bowery

If "sexting" is new to you, your living in the past. This is soooo much more common that you media types make it out to be.... just trying to make sure this is a salacious story? It is not! It's done all the time, but usually, we don't drag it out into the public media sphere. But leave it to you politics/media types. It's the entertainmentazation of governance. Sad. This is such a non-story. I agree with Soupygirl. Can we please go back to the relevant topics????

Jun. 08 2011 10:33 AM
togusa! from washington heights

I had never heard of Anthony Weiner before this scandal, but must say that now having learned about him, I would vote for him. In my opinion, his sexting is all but completely irrelevant to his job as a legislator.
If the only thing our politicians lied about was their sexual online habits, let us be so lucky.

Jun. 08 2011 10:32 AM
Brad from Prospect Heights

He is subject to a different standard because he is a public figure.

Jun. 08 2011 10:32 AM
Where is the wife

Since we're going there... a healthy man needs to be getting it at least few times a week. Is his wife, confidante to the constantly traveling Hillary Clinton, there for him emotionally and physically? How is she finding satisfaction? (Are they sexting each other?!) If we are using this incident to reflect on our society this needs to be asked. In my traveling days I would not even have thought of getting married. A couple needs to reflect on this directly.

Jun. 08 2011 10:32 AM
Gary from Upper Left Side

Brian, what's up with this softball analysis? If this were Newt or Sarah or Mitt doing this, you would give no mercy.

Jun. 08 2011 10:32 AM
BOO from brooklyn

love it, it's hilarious, do it all of the time. but with my gentleman friend, not strangers.

Jun. 08 2011 10:31 AM


the internet is full of porn who is paying for it?

Jun. 08 2011 10:29 AM

soupygirl -- sounds like its time for you to get your own show!

Jun. 08 2011 10:27 AM

Sexting is for puritans, robots, and eunuchs.

Weiner’s sexting is not titillating but pathetic and alarming.

Pornography is for school-children. Healthy grown-ups put aside porn for real sex with the joys of flesh rapturous in all the senses?

(Maybe if I become an invalid at 90 I will go in for sexting, but until then, as long as anybody remains reasonably sound in mind and body, isn’t it obvious that nothing comes close to the pleasures of touch, smell, taste, heat, losing ourselves in each other’s physical bodies? )

Jun. 08 2011 10:25 AM

A key questions seems to be overlooked:
when weiner was asked a question that alluded to paying for sex, he said he had not had sex outside his marriage leaving open the possibility that he had engaged prostitutes since his election to Congress.

Jun. 08 2011 10:23 AM
Denise from New Jersey

We should allow people privacy in their personal lives however if he was not wise enough to see this could be a problem politically, is he wise enough to serve on the security or gov't affairs committees? He cannot be trusted to make long-term decisions that may have complicated effects on the nation and the world. This was a very simple matter whose outcome he should have been able to foresee. He should resign because he has proven himself incompetent to analyze a situation intelligently.

Jun. 08 2011 10:21 AM

common for under 40

Jun. 08 2011 10:15 AM

A "sexting expert"? Really? Enough already, spend the airtime discussing real issues not this pop psychology crap. "Sexting" is not a new level of anything it's the same old stuff cloaked in a new, faster medium.

More relevant topics: Universal health insurance, foreclosure prevention, bankster (lack of) indictments, the aging population and how are we going to get the support services that (are) will be desperately needed. I could go on...

Jun. 08 2011 08:40 AM

Leave a Comment

Email addresses are required but never displayed.

Get the WNYC Morning Brief in your inbox.
We'll send you our top 5 stories every day, plus breaking news and weather.