Barack Obama Takes Us Back Into The Future

Barack Obama's State of the Union address felt a little bit like a letter sent to me by a distant lover. It was filled with promises for fun times in the future if I could just get through these tough times right now. This wasn't a speech to rally me behind the successes of his administration (crickets...) but to gas me up on my hopes for the future. President Obama is testing my love and my loyalty to our union.

I think President Obama must use a machine that reads my dreams and tells him what to say to me to assuage my impatience for change and prosperity. For me, I just need to hear some space geek reference and I'm sold. The president's mention of Sputnik was all the intrigue I needed. After the launch of the Soviet satellite the U.S. entered an age of unbridled space fantasy (read: debt from the military industrial complex and the outerspace industrial complex otherwise known as NASA). So maybe America is about to enter another chamber of unmitigated debt?

I still don't know -- how do we develop our infrastructure or our domestic education system without curtailing our ginormous military budget? The president called this a shared debt. I wish someone would have shared my credit card debt with me. Nope, that was my own problem. But when a previous administration buys guns and bombs as if it were a Kardashian on a handbag spree I have to assume that price tag?

The president's speech was short on his administration's achievements, but by similar comparison this president is also short on the cataclysmic disasters of the G Dubbz era. I almost feel like I'm treading water. We aren't as bad off as a nation as we were in 2001, but at least we all had jobs back then. Even crappy jobs. Is that the answer I was looking for in this State of the Union address? Crappy jobs for everyone. Come and get your apple cart?!?

The president said we need to increase American exports. The greatest export that America manufactures at this point is nostalgia. Let's create more John Wayne and Elvis for sale to the Europeans. Maybe some more recent vintage goodness like Raiders of the Lost Ark or the Michael J. Fox time travel epic. We need to get back to work by making something. Anything. I'd rather the president reinstate the WPA program to build Wi-Fi enabled electrified roadways. So that come 2015 when I'm driving the Doc Brown DeLorean down Main Street my flux capacitor can take me back in time to the good ol' days. 1996.

Dallas Penn is the creator and editor-in-chief of the daily weblog He is also a founding member of the film-making collective, iNternets Celebrities. Currently a featured columnist on AOL’s, Dallas is known for his contributions to various hip-hop websites, including XXL Magazine, and YouTube videos tackling subjects like social justice, affordable food and all around chicanery. He can always be found online at his website and on Twitter. Or sometimes on VH1’s The Best Week Ever. But only if you do a Google search.