WNYC Documentary "Changed New York"
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REYANNE SINGLETON: My name is Reyanne Singleton. I'm a training instructor with the police department, and that morning, I had a radio class that began that day. The class had began, and I just heard-, you know, them say, "A plane is down," so I took my class and sat them to take nine-eleven calls, and I went into the radio room to work citywide. At first, reality didn't strike, but once we heard the officers speak back to us, in the tone of their voices, we knew it was very serious. You know, them comin' over the air, and their voices was cracking and squeaking, and-, and we're tryin' our best to get the help that we can to them and as fast as possible. That's when reality set in. And time went on, then the second plane came, and I think everybody-, it was just total chaos because you know, you're thinkin' about your family, you're thinkin' about the people that's there. You're thinkin' about the officers that you work with every day, and to hear them excited, and their voices, it was very, very, ummh, I can't-, devastating. It was very devastating for us.

(music; goes under)

WELCH: My name is Jessica Welch. I'm a PCT here at nine-one-one New York City Police Department Emergency, and on that day. I started taking calls, and then that call came in. We-, we had several calls that day. But that call, the people, that cell phone, and a lot of people were trapped in tha-, th-, those buildings. I spoke to a lady, and she couldn't get out because the door had slammed, the emergency door. She couldn't get out, and she knew that she couldn't get out, and I knew that she couldn't get out, but there wasn't anything that people taking calls could actually do for her. We let the fire department know 'cause that's our procedure.

(Fades under Flood)

FLOOD: Even-, but it-, it gave me time to reflect on that, but I was going through a lot of mental changes for the first couple of weeks after that. Because I was so involved, I was going through some dreams which was crazy. You know, they were just-, you know, and I was-, I felt kind'a guilty because I wanted to do more, even though they told me that-, you know, things-, you know, "You did as much as you could do, humanly possible."

(music; goes under)

KAREN WILLIAMS-NELSON: My name is Karen Williams-Nelson. I'm a-, I'm a nine-one-one operator and dispatcher. You know, every-, everywhere you go, there's something about nine-eleven. It's-, but it's like they won't put closure to it, to me. I haven't been down there. I don't want to go down there. It-, psychologically, it's something I don't think I want to deal with. You know, nothing's gonna be the same, but it's not going to stop me from living. That's the way I have to live, and if I don't, then what's the point?

SINGLETON: Before, you know, you put off things that you can do today for tomorrow, but now, I go out and you get it done because you don't know if you're gonna be here tomorrow. I take it very serious in another way of coming to work every day and doing my job to the fullest, giving it a (music under) hundred and thirty, forty percent, and treating people with the utmost respect, regardless of how they treat you. I treasure life now. I really treasure it.

(music under)

WELCH: I stopped thinking that I have control of my life now. God has control of my life. Anything that doesn't work out, I don't look at it as a bad thing anymore. There's a reason for everything, 'cause I don't have the answer. I realize all I got to do is go along with Him; He'll take care of the rest, and I haven't gone wrong with that attitude since that day, believe me.

(music)

WELCH: And now that they have this anniversary with the World Trade Center, I don't know if they're gonna be givin' us the same kind of recognition that we get every year. I think it will be more like a solemn anniversary for the people who lost their lives on that day, while us-, a lot of our operators, are recognized on that day, and I don't know how they're gonna really differentiate it and make it not be so solemn, but a joyous occasion for us.

(music under)

FLOOD: It's gonna be maybe a bit more somber than usual, I'm sure. Probably just go back to the day, itself, and that a lot of lives were lost. You know-, you know, I tried to do my job the best way I could, and I tried to help the people around me that I was working with that day, but I didn't want them to see me scared because I-, you know, we need each other, 'cause our job - especially the citywide part of it - we're all interconnected. You know, we all have to work together 'cause we depend on each other.

(music)

JR:
You are listening to "Changed New York," a special program from WNYC.

(Break)

You are listening to "Changed New York," a special program from WNYC.

Sound of rooftop

GARY WELZ: This is the rooftop, and it offers quite a panoramic view of lower Manhattan, and I would come here almost every day before September eleventh. One of the things that I always enjoyed about this rooftop was, you can notice there are four sets of twin buildings, some deliberately twins, like that pair there and the pair behind it, which were-, were made as twin towers or twin structures, and then some "accidental twins": the white and the black building over there, Liberty Plaza and the Bankers Trust here, so you had these four pairs of twins, and then the majestic twins, the-, you know, the World Trade Center towers, that were quite remarkable. ... (:35)

JR: Gary Welz still visits the rooftop at his apartment building almost every day. The building at 75 West Street is two blocks south of where the World Trade Center once stood. Tenants were evacuated on September eleventh, and they weren't allowed to move back until December fifteenth. During those 3 months of being displaced, most moved away permanently, but a few, including Welz, have come back, to changed lives and a changed landscape.

GARY: I love the roof. That's one of the reasons I love to be in the building, and there were always sunbathers here. It was a great socializing spot.

JR: So, what is it like for you to come up here now?

GARY: Mostly, it's a reminder of what happened, to see the-, the site. It's certainly a great emptiness, and, you know, still struggling, trying to understand what happened, still a kind of disbelief. It's a different view, and in some ways a better view. I can see all the way up to the Empire State Building now. I can see the rest of Manhattan, where before, it was just this great steel wall. This building was in the frozen zone for the full three months because they were finding airplane parts and other-, parts of human bodies on the roof, and so we were the last to get back in. Even in December, the amount of construction, the s-, the dirt and dust, the b-, the air, were very difficult. Those are some of the bigger concerns.

JR Does it feel like home again?

GARY: The best thing about coming back was that I could meet neighbors, some of whom I didn't even really know by name beforehand, and share my experience with them. Coming back gave me a kind of closure on the event, and it gave me a power in feeling that I could choose if I was going to leave

Elevator bell, elevator door opening, muted conversation, squeak, 'Thank you")
GARY: You know, I don't think I've actually met you. I'm Gary Welz. How are you?

ALICE: Alice. Very nice to meet you.

GARY: Alice?

ALICE: Alice.

GARY: Thank you, Alice.

Ambiance in house

JENNIFER: I'm Jennifer, and I have two-year-old Oscar and our four-year-old William, and we're in New Paltz, New York, and my husband Bill is getting off the bus probably in two minutes, from New York, and this is where we live now. (:25)

JR: Jennifer Ippolito, her husband Billy Kay, their two young sons and three dogs never moved back to 75 West Street after September eleventh. Right after the attack, they took refuge with Jennifer's parents who live in New Paltz, about 80 miles north of the city. Two weeks later, they looked at a nearby house that was for sale. They made an offer, signed the papers a couple of weeks later, and started their new life.

JENNIFER w/kids: You guys play, okay? I don't want to hear any fighting now. We have to keep an eye out for Daddy, okay? Let's keep an eye out for Daddy, 'cause he'll be home soon. (fade under)

JENNIFER: I wanted to stay because I had some kind-, I just still have a little bit of guilt about running like that. You know. It's either fight-or-flight, and I-, I feel like we kind'a-, we chose flight, and then I-, you know, and then that becomes like a mind thing because you're like "No," that maybe-, "Leaving is in the best interest of your children," although you would have liked to stay. I mean, 'cause we tried to volunteer and we-, you know, we (s/l drove stuff) while we-, while we had the kids up here for the two days following it. They were with my parents, and then we went back down. We tried to give blood and we-, know, did whatever we could do, and, you know-. So, I wanted to stay. I wanted to maybe move uptown or East Village or-, or, I-, you know, wherever. I didn't care.

BILLY: Hi honey.

JENNIFER: Here's daddy, he just got in ...
(fade)

BILLY: My name is Billy Kay. That's how everybody knows me. It's William H. Kay the Fourth, technically, and my son is the Fifth. God knows why I brought that burden upon him. We used to live at 75 West Street, and two blocks south of the towers, until that day when we were forced to leave 'cause we were in the-, I think it was called the hot zone or the red zone.

(music)

BILLY: I'm a copper trader, and-, and I trade options in the pit. It's part of the World Financial Center, and we used to-, I used to work from eight to two, and since the attack, or-, they scaled back our hours to one, so I'm home by three-thirty, and I live almost 100 miles away, so it's-, it's pretty good. So, I actually prefer-, prefer the commute. You know, it gives me time to myself. Now that I have two little kids, it's kind'a hard to-, to get any free time, you know, so I actually cherish it sometimes.

(music; bird sounds)

BILLY: Every now and then I get paranoid about taking the subway to work and things like that, you know. I'm afraid of a suicide bomber. Every now and then I-, I fear that they're gonna, you know, strike a subway or a bus like they do in Israel. It's like every week, it seems, so I try to take taxis every now and then if-, if I'm in a rush. So that still lingers in the back of my mind. But my sister still lives there with her child and it-, I'm glad it-, it's not really affecting that many people's lives. There hasn't really been an exodus. Real estate is still strong, so it's good, in that respect. Bin Laden didn't really do what he wanted to do, which is instill fear and change all our lives. I mean we changed our lives 'cause we have two kids and we were-, and we lived there, but, you know, if we'd lived uptown, you know, perhaps we wouldn't have left. (kid crying, fade under).

And, you know, my idea is to build a house on-, we have eleven acres in the woods. We have an unlisted phone number, no po-, no-, you know, no mail box into the driveway. I don't want to tell my parents where I live. You know. I want to be-, I want to have my own well, my own septic tanks, so I can't be poisoned with anthrax. You know, and I have my own garden, and I want to be able to live self-sufficiently every-, you know, and-, with-, without having to go to the store, and you know, I know, in the city you can have your laundry done and everything delivered. You know, I want to be able to live in my house with nothing delivered, not being ab-, you know, without having to leave for anything. Not worrying about anything, really.

(music)

JR: Bill was expressing to me his-, his vision of the future, which is living off in the woods, self sufficient and-, I mean ...

JENNIFER: The trip-, the move to Alaska, I know. Figuratively or literally. That's not what I see. I think that bomb in ninety-three and then this, obviously, you know, the magnitude of this, and peop-, for some reason he's associating moving away or money or, you know, self-sufficiency with safety, where I feel that that's totally false because there's no relation. I think what's happened is that he's become much more obsessed with safety, and that's probably the reason he wants to mov-, live in the woods, and my opinion is, it doesn't matter where you are, so you might as well have a hell of a good time and not worry about it.

(music)

JENNIFER: We try to go back, I mean I've been back several times. And that's another thing about Billy and the safety thing, he hates when I bring the kids, hates it. Bringing the kids worries him, mm-mmm.

JR: And for you what does it do?

JENNIFER: For me it's a good reminder. I like going back. I like going to see the doormen in the building. I like going to talk the them. I like to pretend that, still, you know, we could walk up Hudson Street. You know-, we try to, like, do the same stuff that we used to do, and I like doing that. I think that's because I don't go there every day. And I think that's the difference. Billy has to go there every day, and he doesn't want to be reminded, and I do, and the kids do.

JR: What-, why-, when you said you were pretend-, you like to pretend, what is it that-?

JENNIFER: Well, what I-, it's not-, it's not so much pretending as-, I like to pretend that we still live there and we're still doing our thing. You know, and then, like, a couple of times, just for a minute, you know, we started walking home (what?) I forgot. Like I forgot. That's not-, you know, we're not going home, we have to get back in the car, we gotta schlep all the way to New Paltz, and, you know, it's not home. And, you know, and then you like catch yourself, and you're like, "Oh, my God," 'cause you need to turn around and you start walking south, and you don't see the towers, and you're like, "Oh, man. That really happened." (music) You know? I mean, back into reality. For us it's a-, it's a good reality, 'cause we didn't-, you know, our family's intact.

(ambi/music)

JOHN: One of the reasons why I can live down there is because I didn't go through the trauma of the event, like these people did, and I'm lucky, because it must have been awful.

JR: John is a medical student. He and his girlfriend moved into 75 West Street last March, about six months after the attack on the World Trade Center. They had been living in Brooklyn, but wanted a more central location - an apartment closer to the schools where each of them study. Even though recovery work was still underway at Ground Zero, it was hard to resist making the move to Lower Manhattan.

JOHN: This is a nice building. It's-, it is a luxury apartment. It's got a walk-in closet, it's got brand new appliances. It's got wood paneling in the elevators, 24-hour doorman, brand new G. E. appliances, vegetable sprayer in the sink, 686 square feet, and we got it for seventeen-seventy-five ($1,775), but the real deal is that we're getting the federal subsidy which brings it down. We're gonna get five hundred dollars off a month, so that's gonna bring it down to twelve-seventy-five ($1,275), which is cheaper than the apartment I had in Brooklyn, but the real issue was whether or not I should move there at all.

(music)

JOHN: When I thought about it, and started talking to my friends about it, they thought I was completely nuts, 'cause everybody was still in this hyper-sensitive reaction to September eleventh and they didn't really know what to do, and it ha-, could they talk about it yet? People were still uncomfortable about making a joke, so it was a sensitive subject when I talked to people about it. It was a really a good idea, and then-, you know, taking the-, the rent subsidy was also kind of a-, a sensitive subject, like, is it right-, you know, for me to come in, and am I profiting off of this, somehow? I love to brag about it 'cause it's such a nice apartment that I really don't deserve, but nobody wanted to move in there, and the rent was so low, and-, you know, I just couldn't pass it up.

(music)

JOHN: When we moved in, we really didn't remember, 'cause we-, when we looked at the apartment, we looked and we looked around and checked it out and we said, "This is great," and we took it, but I didn't really remember the view. I knew that it was north, and I-, I hadn't taken the time to really soak in. So, it was kind of, "Well, we'll keep the shades closed." But slowly, over time, we came to feel that it was good thing that we were moving in there. Downtown needs to be rebuilt, and people needed to move back there, and I felt like I was part of rebuilding the city and bringing life back to the city. That was the one part that made me feel good about myself.

(comedy club ambiance)

JR: Life is coming back to Lower Manhattan. The apartments at 75 West Street are full again. And on Monday nights, Gary Welz has been emceeing a comedy show at a local bar. Having moved back, Welz has now taken on the task of bringing some humor to the neighborhood.

GARY: Every-, every time I think about September eleventh, I think about the things I could have done, or maybe should have done, to help other people who were here or people who might have needed my help if I'd stayed around. I-, instead, I-, I followed the crowd and got on a boat and went to New Jersey, and I'm-, I'm not ashamed of that, but like every survivor that I've talked to, there are always lingering questions. You know. You're always going back to the things you wish you had done, the things you thought you could have done. And so maybe this is a kind of atonement for that. But it's also a tremendous amount of fun. I mean, it is an opportunity to take advantage of the blank slate now that is Lower Manhattan.

(ambiance out, music in)

JR: So many of the memories of September eleventh are terrible. We thought you might like to hear a story with a happy ending. Amy Eddings is here with me, and she has a love story.

AMY EDDINGS: Yes, John. This is a story about Beth Cronk, a former Wall Street order trader turned professional dog groomer for the well-to-do. She turns 50 this month. Jim Horch is a 45-year-old ironworker who lives in his childhood home in Danbury, Connecticut.

JR: And they met on September eleventh?

AMY: No, but they both were in Lower Manhattan that day. Beth lives two blocks east of the Trade Center, and Jim was at a job site nearby. He soon started working on the pile, and stayed there for five months. I met them at the Roxy Coffee Shop, (fade up, COFFEE SHOP AMBIENCE, hold throughout piece) a little sliver of a place where they used to go for breakfast every morning, before Jim had to report for his seven o'clock shift.

JIM: Give me o-, over easy, with bacon, Tommy. And what do you want, poached eggs on-.

BETH: Poached eggs on English.

AMY: They met on the subway, which can happen to anyone, really. But Beth and Jim fell in love, because of September eleventh.

JIM: We met-, I- I believe it was September eighteenth, and I had been on the site for about four days, and it was-, it was the day that-, that I first saw a body, and we flipped over a big piece of steel, and right at my feet was-, was somebody's remains. And I was in shock, and it was at the end of my shift, and I-, I made my way to the subway.

BETH: He was in his overalls and his hard hat and he had his ironworker tools with him, and everybody on the car was looking at him.

JIM: I'm not suicidal. I'm-, I'm not homicidal, either. I-, I just-, I felt like I was being sucked in, like I was being pulled in, and I didn't-, and there was no place I could-, I could hold on to. What I was sliding into, I-, I don't know, but I-, I felt that I was-, I was gettin' pulled into something, you know? Even though I had been close to death before, I had-, I had just-, I-, I felt really weird.

BETH: And I just said, "I can help this guy. I know I can bring him back." And when I went over and sat down next to him and took his hand, he was on the brink of leavin', you know? I mean, he just-, he was fallin' off. He wa-, he could barely hold himself up, and I just said to him, "Where-, where are you from, where are you going, do you have a-, are you married, do you have a family waiting for you?"

JIM: I felt a weight being lifted off of me, just by the interaction with another person, you know, and-, and the next thing I knew, I had to get off the train. And Beth gave me her telephone number and said, you know, "Give me a call."

BETH: I really wanted to connect with someone that was working down there. Everybody was talking about how they wanted to be involved, and how they needed to be part of it, and-, and I thought to myself, "Well, this is how I can contribute. I can give my friendship to somebody who's working there, and that's a-, that's a good start. Little did I know I'd give my heart, too.

JIM: When I first met Beth on the train, she was-, she was like an angel to me, but then I realized that-, that she was very frightened, and I thought that I could try to-, to hold her up a little bit? You know, just to-, to be her friend, to-, to help her through this, to help her through the problem of-, of livin' down here and-, and bein' scared.

BETH: Jim is a blue-collar iron worker, and he was one of those hard-hats on the street that, you know, are everywhere in New York City, that make this city, that you just kind'a take for granted, like the subways and the buses, and-. He and his guys are always around, but, you know, when they're whistlin' at ya' from the girders and from the sidewalks, you just kind of like put your "New York" on and keep movin', and never look back, you know? So I would've never in a million years have met him.

AMY: They found they had things in common: a love of music, especially, and a sense that they were moving in a charged, supernatural atmosphere.

JIM: And there were times where-, when I would walk in the site and-, early, very early after-, after the disaster, and you could-, you could feel the-, you could feel the people. At least I-, I thought I felt them, you know, and there was days when I walked away where I felt that I took people with me. And there was one day I-, I-, I went to Grand Central Station. I didn't have to. I just-, I went there because I felt that whoever followed me out wanted to go.

AMY: And they confronted their own ghosts. Beth has been estranged from her husband - her third - for about three years. They have a 13-year-old son. Jim is separated from his fourth wife. He's a smoker - has been since he was a teenager - and he's struggled with an addiction to heroin. For the past eleven years, he's been on methadone.

JIM: Actually, that was one of the first questions that Beth asked me. She said, "Are you on methadone?" (Beth laughs.)

BETH: I told you, when I saw him, I immediately knew who he was.

JIM: I stopped for a second and I looked at her and I said, "I didn't know it was-, it was like a neon sign I was wearing." I mean, I said, "Well, I'm-, no-, I'm-, no sense in startin' to lie now," so, yeah, "Of course I am."

BETH: And I could see him think' about whether to tell me the truth or not. And he did, and to his credit, he told me the truth. I had said to him, "Do you ever think about getting off?" And he just kind'a said, "Mmmm, yeah," and that's all I asked about it. But the second time that we talked about it was a few weeks later when I was driving home from my cousin's daughter's wedding in a rainstorm, and I asked him if I could call him to talk me in, because I'm a bad night driver in-, in the rain, and one of the first things he said to me is, "I've made a decision that I'm going to get off methadone," and at that point, I knew I could fall in love with him.

JIM: I felt that I-, I felt that I was bein' selfish, that bein' on methadone was bein'-, was bein' selfish, and how or-, that might sound weird, but that's the way I felt. That I-, I couldn't give all I really could give, because I was somehow impaired.

AMY: Jim checked himself into a treatment center, and has been clean since April. He also quit smoking. Beth has scaled back her dog-grooming business so that she can focus on her personal life.

BETH: What it has meant for me is a chance to rebuild, and that is truly what Jim and I have both been doing since September eleven (sic) is, we've been rebuilding our lives along with what's going on. As they rebuild that spot-, and in my heart, they can never-, no matter what they build, they can never fill the hole. So, we're rebuilding that for ourselves.

AMY: Beth Cronk and Jim Horch are in the process of divorcing their current spouses. When those divorces are complete, they plan to marry each other.

(ambi fade; music up)

JR: Everybody has their own way of thinking about September eleventh. For me, I keep going back to the second before the first plane hit the first tower. Even though I know things had already gone wrong, it feels like that was last time everything was okay: the city was still intact, terrorists hadn't killed anyone.

I want so badly to go back to that moment - to stop the plane, to wrestle the hijackers to the ground, to warn the people in the towers, to save the city.

I've never before reported on a story that forced me to face my own emotions so directly, and I know many other reporters covering this story have experienced the same thing.

So why do we keep coming back to this subject? And will we keep coming back after the one year anniversary is over?

I think we will and we should, because - in addition to the sadness and anger and guilt - there is also a lot of hope in New York. Growing up in New York, I always knew that it was a compassionate city, even though the rest of the world didn't see us that way. Now they do, and I think New Yorkers do too, more profoundly than ever before.

But we all have short memories, so telling stories, and listening to people who were so deeply affected, honors the lives that were lost, and serves as a reminder - not just of the horror and the sadness, but also of what we are capable of, even in the worst of times.

(music under)

ANNOUNCER: You've been listening to "Changed New York," a special program from WNYC, and part of public radio's special coverage, "Understanding America After Nine-eleven."

This program was produced and narrated by John Rudolph. Karen Frillmann was the editor. The associate producers were Amy Eddings, Beth Fertig and Amy Rubin. The engineer was Karen Pearlman, with help from George Edwards, Michael Jones, Wayne Shulmister and Dean Western. Additional production assistance from Rex Doane, Mikel Ellcessor, Alex Kingsbury and Andy Lanset.

This documentary was made possible by funding from the Carnegie Corporation of New York, the Overbrook Foundation, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and the listeners of WNYC, New York Public Radio.

Thanks to Fred Froehlich for the use of his photos.