wnyc.org / 93.9fm / am 820

Comments

• [1] Melissa from New York February 11, 2008 - 01:47PM

  What I've learned from being dumped...

  When men say they're not looking for a relationship---Believe them!

  
  
• [2] Paul from West Village February 12, 2008 - 01:00PM

  What I've learned from being dumped...

  It's you, not them.

  
  
• [3] chestine from NY February 13, 2008 - 01:33PM

  as a gullible young dumpee lo those many years ago, I learned "the hard way" to only pay attention to what a person does, not what he says, or what I want him to do or say.

  
  
• [4] Matt from financial district February 13, 2008 - 04:05PM

  I was the one with the itchy trigger finger in all of my early relationships. When I was finally dumped at age 22, the once-overlooked lyrics to hundreds of songs suddenly became very clear to me.

  
  
• [5] J.P. from canada February 14, 2008 - 12:03PM

  Don't get intimate too quickly. If someone is really interested, they will give it a few weeks anyway! And if they don't, you'll be relieved you didn't go there...

  
  
• [6] Sarah from Brooklyn February 14, 2008 - 12:12PM

  I learn more about myself in those painfully down times than at any other moments in life. Being dumped (or the end of relationships in general) can be your greatest teachers if you let them.

  Although having this awareness doesn't make getting the axe hurt any less. Though humor does come through in retrospect. Who hasn't looked back at atleast one relationship in thier life and thought, "Did I loss my mind during that time? Thank God that's over."

  
  
• [7] Jennifer Hickey from Queens, New York February 14, 2008 - 12:18PM

  I was dumped by this guy in college on the night Clinton beat George I and ended over a decade of Republican rule. We had been out watching the results with other friends and we were both so excited. Rather than giving me a kiss goodnight at the door, he broke up with me. I mean, he couldn't wait until the next day?

  
  
• [8] Deb from Brooklyn February 14, 2008 - 12:37PM

  the best song to listen to after being dumped is Don Henley's "the heart of the matter" over and over.

  
  
• [9] Kathryn February 14, 2008 - 12:38PM

  "Fort-eh" is actually the correct pronunciation in Italian; "Fort" in French...

  
  
• [10] Zak from New York, NY February 14, 2008 - 12:39PM

  Well, I'm still not sure what I learned from this, but when I was 24 and had first moved to New York, I moved because of a woman. She had been living in Seattle, I had been living in Chicago, we had dated in college in Boston and "found" each other again and were dating long distance for almost a year, planning on a move to New York. In a weird series of events, including my quitting my job and travelling in Guatemala for two weeks with her, I found myself in East Village bar on Thanksgiving Day getting dumped only five days after my arrival in New York. I had given up a job, a life, friends, a really incredible and affordable apartment on the North Side of Chicago, only to get dumped five days after I got to New York...on THANKSGIVING! After spending the whole day with her arrogant actor father gnoshing dry, overcooked turkey! All I learned , I think, is that this was miserable.

  Luckily, things are better now, I'm in a happy relationship, I have a better job, and a relatively nice and affordable apartment in Brooklyn.

  
  
• [11] hjs from 11211 February 14, 2008 - 12:40PM

  one good relationship makes earlier bad relationships seem so insignificant

  
  
• [12] AWM from UWS February 14, 2008 - 12:45PM

  When the my first love dumped me in college it was truly an awakening.

  I realized that I was no longer a young and happy innocent, those days were over. I found that I was just as insane and pathetic as any of us can be.

  "Send Her My Love" by Journey went from innocuous to profound very rapidly.

  
  
• [13] bn from bklyn February 14, 2008 - 12:46PM

  males deal better with being dumped than with being the dumper, because our gender (men) instinctively want to maximize our number of sex partners, so when we're dumped, after a few tears, we think: Hey, a new sex partner awaits me!

  
  
• [14] Catherine from Long Island February 14, 2008 - 12:46PM

  I am not a serial dumper. I've been in 3 serious relationships including my husband of 15 years and dated only 3 other guys very briefly. I dumped relationship number two when I realized that as much as he loved me, I didn't want to marry him so I couldn't go on seeing him. I realized I loved his extended family but not his immediate family and that he himself had traits similar to his immediate family although not immediately obvious.

  
  
• [15] Jason from Brooklyn February 14, 2008 - 12:50PM

  Some people prefer to be the one doing the dumping.

  I tried to dump an ex and she was so upset about it that I decided to stay with her and a few week later she dumped me and she was able to move on much easier.

  
  
• [16] Roger from Bronx February 14, 2008 - 01:04PM

  To Deb, try also "I'm not in love" by 10CC.

  To BN, it ain't necessarily so! It depends on how much you are into the person, sometimes you feel like you just don't want to get back in the mix; and what about some relationships that take a while to get to the intimate phase?

  
  
• [17] edf from Washington Heights - NOT pretentious "Hudson Heights" February 14, 2008 - 01:23PM

  Several years ago I decided that I needed to get out of a relationship. I looked in vain for a website with real, sane, practical tips on how to dump with tact. I couldn't find one. When I used drive to her house in Jersey to pick her up to go out, I would pound on the dash and scream "I've GOT to get out of this!". By the time I reached her home, I had calmed down and we went out and had a good time. Weeks, months later, I bought tickets for the circus at the Garden and on the way there I told her that I had to get out. We did go to the circus that day, but I was the only one crying at the circus. My way to minimize the pain, for both of us, was to tell her that she'll be my "Elaine" and I'll be her "Jerry". We can still be friends and we do call each other every few months - but it's over - thankfully.

  
  
• [18] Betty Arce from Bronx, New York February 14, 2008 - 01:41PM

  Whenever I've been dumped,I've been very productive after. My writing is more creative and intense, I seek out friends more, and I manage to complete a lot of unfinished projects. As painful as the break-ups have been (last one was 14 years ago), I've used the time to reflect, restore, and reinvent myself.