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Shalom Auslander on His Relationship to God

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Shalom Auslander describes his Orthodox Jewish upbringing as theological abuse in his memoir, Foreskin’s Lament. He was forced to grapple with his relationship to God and Judaism when deciding whether to circumcise his newborn son.

Foreskin’s Lament is available for purchase at amazon.com


Comments

  • [1] A. Grossman October 10, 2007 - 11:37PM

    As the son of two yeshiva educators and having spent my whole life(since I was three)in yeshiva, I feel reasonably qualified to call into question Auslander's characterizations of the yeshiva education system. Nothing in my experience led me to perceive G-d as 'an angry old man.' It made me quite uncomfortable to hear Auslander's viewpoint presented as if it reflected the perceptions of a significant portion of yeshiva graduates when I can look around me and see countless yeshiva graduates (friends,family and aquaintances) who have a much healthier and happier relationship with God.Is it possible that the perception of God that Auslander absorbed outside of Yeshiva made him susceptible to exaggerating and distorting one aspect of God into this grotesque caricature?


  • [2] Darren from Park Slope October 11, 2007 - 03:21PM

    I concur. As a student in Israeli and American yeshivas (after a BA at Brown) I'd say this book (which I read this summer) is more about his relationship with hius abusive father than with God. He's angry and funny, but ultimately, nore Seinfeld and less philosophical.


  • [3] Sam Juni from NYU - Applied Psychology October 18, 2007 - 07:26AM

    There are definite parallels between perceiving father as abuser and perceiving God as abuser. I have found that holocaust survivors often have an object relations (interpersonal relations mode) style toward God which puts him into the sterotypical role of an abusive parent -- loved, relied upon, omnipotent, but unpredictably untrustworthy and betraying. Second generation children raised by holocaust survivors not only have this image of (God as abusive parent) insidiously stamped into their repertoire, but usually have marked oedipal disturbances since their parents are not as omnipotent as they should be, in the eyes of a developing child, since the children have been raised with a constant diet of tales of the protracted helplessness of their parents.

    Clinically, I do not see how any of the hapless members of these two cohort can develop healthy object relations, both toward people and toward God.


  • [4] Lynda Kraar from Teaneck NJ November 24, 2007 - 06:50PM

    I loved Foreskin's Lament and I love Leonard, so I'm already the big winner here. Shalom nailed it, book-wise. Period. And Leonard squeezed the best out of that interview.

    "A hartzikeh yasher koach" to both of you.

    Sincerely,

    Lynda Kraar


  • [5] Joey April 07, 2008 - 02:49PM

    I too grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family in Monsey, minutes from the Auslander home, and was given a similar education to Shalom Auslander. His book mentions peopl, places and religious practices I am quite familiar with. I totally agree with his portrayal of the way the God concept is taught to young Jewish children and it is no wonder that some of us wake up and rebel. I only wish I had his courage to do so sooner than I have. I have wrestled with God in similar ways and suffered long into middle age because of how I was trained. I now know my suffering was and is self-inflicted. There is no doubt that our absorption of what we are taught has much to do with our fathers and mothers. This can be both for good and bad, as some people live relatively contentedly within this framework in Monsey and in Teaneck, among other places. However, ultimately, I believe Freud (who was also born an Orthodox Jew) was right with his explanations about religion. They are clearly spelled out in his book, The Future of an Illusion. God is based on our fathers. It takes great courage to stand up and say the things Auslander has said and to do it with humor takes talent, but it is clear that he has more work to do, as do I, before true, internal freedom can be won.


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