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I think some of the listeners are confusing cultural generalizations to those pertaining specifically to romance.

Navigating the differences and language subtleties between two people is difficult enough when you come from (comparatively) the same culture. Such issues are exponentially challenging when applied to love between those of two very different cultures; such issues are magnified, and taken out of context, can sound like the same stereotypes.

From a woman's perspective there are even more cultural obstacles, given the fact that in most societies, we're still second class to an extent. For instance, before I first met my Japanese significant other's parents, I tried to research how other westerners handled the situation, and how to be on my best behavior. There were numerous accounts of western men, but basically nothing on western women's experiences on such etiquette.

Keep in mind this is a subjective memoir focusing on a particular relationship, and not a travel guide.

James is largely on point. I, too, having lived in Japan, listened to this segment expecting a bit more, but it was heavy on hyperbole and short on insight.

A lot of these generalizations do begin to stab at a kernel of truth, so I wouldn't reject them outright, but it seems that talk of Japan is routinely simplified to a "Westerners are from Mars, Japanese are from Venus" type of thing.

The reason? It's far easier to talk in soundbites, I reckon. The constraints of timing and the exigencies of wanting to sound knowledgeable about the subject make for the same tired anecdotal evidence about Japan being recycled over and over again.

I'd wager that the author knows more than she lets on, but I felt like she was just following Leonard's lead -- he referenced anecdotes about a friend, and kept asking silly things like "Isn't Japanese suuuuper difficult?" It seems like they could have done their homework on this one a bit more. Leonard was onto something when he suggested that Japan seems so Western on the surface, but that there is more than meets the eye -- but this didn't really go anywhere.

Then again, why do mainstream travelogues about Japan amount to little more than "My crazy time in Japanland"? I feel like the authors are doing us a disservice, too. It's a vicious cycle.

Donald Richie, for all his shortcomings, is still the better choice to read.

A very fun guest. Since she publishes a new book almost every year, do try to bring her back!

@ James, isn't one of the reasons Japan is so different is that it is a society that developed largly withou the concept of Original Sin? Sex was not demonize until the arrival of Commadore Perry who introduced them to the Bible. It all went downhill from there.

I lived in Japan eight and a half years. I'm no expert, but why is it that when people talk about Japan it's always in such extreme terms: "There's no society like it on Earth," etc.?

Sounds like we're talking about people who live on Mars, not Japanese people.

It's true that the culture is different, but I would caution you not to make sweeping generalizations about language, politeness and the like.

The filmmaker Yasujiro Ozu looks at that issue of talking about the weather in "Good Morning, Tokyo." Two little kids can't understand why that's all their parents talk about with their neighbors.