On Demand
Buy, Buy Baby
Monday, July 07, 2008
Pamela Paul, author of Parenting, Inc. How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture and Diaper Wipe Warmers -- and What It Means for Our Children, joins us to talk about the commercialization of childhood and parenting.
- About the Brian Lehrer Show »
- Staff Bios »
- Contact Us »
- Tapes and Transcripts »
- Latest Episode »
- Show Archive »
Features & Series
Podcast
Stay up to date.
Subscribe to the Podcast
YOU PRODUCE The Brian Lehrer Show
Be a listener-producer with facts, questions and people you'd like to hear on the air.
More
The Brian Lehrer Show Scrapbook
Visit the scrapbook for daily photos and miscellany from The Brian Lehrer Show.
More
Shop at Amazon!
The Brian Lehrer Show picks
Start your Amazon shopping on WNYC.org and a portion of your total purchase goes to WNYC.
More
Comments
Refresh
Buy Buy Baby is the title of an excellent book on this subject by Susan Gregory Thomas.
Mary
Mary L. Rothschild, Director
Healthy Media Choices
www.healthymediachoices.org
Brooklyn, New York 11201
Brattleboro, Vermont 0530
Host: "How Are the Children?"
WVEW-LP 107.7 FM
streaming at www.wvew.org
Tuesday at 1 pm
My daughter is now 13, so I'm a bit removed from the newborn scene, however...
Whassup with the SUV sized strollers and toting enough gear for an arctic expedition when going to the park? Sleeping coaches? Wipe Warmers?
Our children are doomed if we collectively keep trying to protect the from LIFE as opposed to keep them safe from danger.
Gosh, have I turned into a curmudgeon...
btwn internet sites like oodle.com, baby sites, craigstlts etc., 2nd hand stores and clorox -- you'd have to be nuty to go and buy a newly formed plastic whatever at babys r us these days!
Sometimes the comments page really gets me down … but not today.
Pablo Alto (2) and Smerdloft (3) speak my mind.
Being a recent auntie of two baby nieces, I thoroughly enjoy going up down the aisles in Babies-R-Us and exclaiming "That's So Cute" when I see another baby in an adorable outfit. Luckily I have impulse control not to buy everything I see on TV commercials.
The key to parenting is having a good support system, especially to pick up or babysit and in their absence, to be a discipline enforcer so children no they that the rules are the rules. The wisdom of family elders cannot be overstated because even after hours conducting research online, in books & magazines, their advice do help to put at ease self-doubts and boost the self-confidence of parents.
My only caveat with the current baby product industry is that everything is made in China. I call my nieces "Made In China" babies because every toy, furniture, and piece of clothing they have is probably 99.9% made in China.
Because of the Chinese products scare, I think this is the best time of hand-made, boutique business & crafts/sewing classes.
From those of us who can't have kids but love them, just be grateful you can even have children and that you have those little cherubs and treasure them!
Shower babies with love and affection not things. Kids know the difference when they are loved.
Also belong a family with a number nieces & nephews means newer parents saves a lot of with hand-me-downs. You can die a pink onesies purple ;-).
Necessities people: Food, Clothing, Shelter and Love.
I do not think your child will be any more or less deficient if they don't have the latest Dora the Explorer blanket.
My son is 17 months old and I watch his grandparents and everyone else in his life buying him so many new toys and the like each week and you know what he does every time he gets one. Nothing. There is no squeal of joy or a barage of kisses to the gift giver. he doesn't care.
Most of these baby products are for the parents own personal aesthetics. Kids don't have that yet.
Don't forget the climate of fear around caring for children that feeds an entire alternative-parenting industry....
PS- We made the mistake of buying the baby wipe warmer when our son was first born. We used it for less than a month and then put it in the closet.
Same with the diaper champ. We realized changing the kitchen trash can with only a few diapers in it was far less toxic smelling than an entire 12 gallon bag filled entirely with soiled diapers.
Wipe warmer?
Why would anyone need that? $800 stroller? Take a vacation with that money and leave baby with grandma.
Everyone uses baby wipes, even adults, they don't need to be warmed. Not good to burn baby's skin.
One of the main problems with parenting today is that most people are too scared to let their children make their own mistakes.
Everyone told us we should get a $300 gate for our wood stove so that our son wouldn't get hurt. I refused and when he went to the stove for the first time, I watched him and he touched it and burned himself. I picked him up and comforted him and you know what. He never touched it again.
Let your children fall down people. Trust me. They'll get up again.
I think they are afraid they will break. I worked in my church nursery with the infants, they are so adorable and won't melt.
I worked with a sleeping coach and it was the best thing I ever did!
I think all of this parenting info just feeds on parents' fears and insecurities, even books like this.
I thought politics and religion were minefields--parenting and the judgments within are in a class by itself.
I would like to know why there is such a taboo in this country/culture of sleeping with your baby. In every other culture in the world this is acceptable but here it isn't.
Both of my small children had very bare-bones baby rooms. A crib, a changing table. No diaper genie, no matching curtains, bedding, wipe warmer cover. Sometimes i feel ashamed when other mothers come over and see what little we have for our kids. This conversation has empowered me and makes me feel good about our choices. Thanks!
complete waste of money??
what isn't in the last days of the american empire?
My son is 2.5 months ago. We have stuff we never used! However, we still get stuff from friends and family even though we tell them not to buy things. We have stuck to things that we NEED! Is it fear or a pavlovian response to advertisements that we react and buy?
And yes we are in Debt and it is also bolstered by the health care cost to just have a baby !
Oh the irony, parents buying all these toxic and wasteful non-renewable products ensuring a very scary future for their kids.
If you want the best for your child, instead of going to Baby's R US or the Toy Store; stay home with your child and take them for a walk and read them a book. They'll thank you for it later and they'll spend less time and money in therapy when they're older.
Oh and by the way, I played in dirt when I was todler.
you got it exactly backwards.
Lots of folks w access to large credit limits are barraged with these cute and beautiful items so many thousands of times each month that at last they just break down and have a child to accessorize.
it's what the sex and the city immigrants buy after shoes.
When was the last time you saw little kids WALKING down the street? Those Conostoga wagons need to go! Cesar Milan would make a better cousellor.
Any research if having babies listen to classical music helps raise IQ?
What is a sleeping coach?
The lead is STILL THERE!!! See how nothing has come of that.
I completely agree with the guest and many of the posters. New parents are an extremely vulnerable market though and the pressure to have the "best" is HUGE. Not to mention when your baby is screaming in the stroller and you see every kid in a Bugaboo happy as can be.... one does start to wonder if they are worth it!
My baby doesn't care for Baby Einstein and is just as happy with a cardboard box as with her $20 squeaky "must have" teething toy. We tell ourselves all the time that our parents did it with much less and that we hardly need anything, which is true (and good since we can't afford all that much!). The peer, or marketing, pressure to have everything is still immense!
As a non-parent who spent the holiday weekend flying for work, I like the idea of sleeping coaches on airlines (or the better idea of not bringing babies on airplanes...).
Talking about how toys/clothes are made, I always tease my girlfriend that the stuff she buys for her little boy are "For Kids By Kids."
I have a 9-month old boy and I was shocked to see how little he needed to be happy: basically lots of attention and love, and apparently my keys to play with.
From what I can see, many parents seem to see their child as an accessory to their lives, and they take the same consumerist and conspicuous consumption approach to their kids as their cars and homes. Countless times I've heard why the thousand dollar stroller is the only one that will suffice, or why they have to spend top dollar on deluxe toys.
These are the same rationanles that lead them to buy the huge trucks they can't live without, and that lead them to believe they can't live in anything less than a McMansion.
On the way to buying second hand toys that for our kids, we always say, "let's give some chinese school kids an extra hour of sleep."
The best "toys" I bought for my son when he was an infant/toddler/preschooler/middle schooler, were family memberships to the children's museums, the zoos, the parks . . .
I think that it's the consciousness of the market that makes the difference. Grandparents don't get the "racket" that the children's market is, and are defenseless against it, as are the credit-rich and under-educated. We who are aware of the global predations of these industries are more resistant to them.
I enjoy the implications of the epidemic deferral to foreign-born nannies by absentee parents. I can see Johnny at age 12 snapping at his father: "Shut yor fool mouth, boy, and pass the rice & peas..."
I was at a baby store buying something for my kid and overheard the sales person going through the pitch for the Bugaboo (the Hummer of strollers). The father asked him, "Now, what's the difference between this and that one?," pointing at another, much cheaper stoller. The sales person responded, "there's really not much. The Bugaboo is much heavier. Oh and the price." That was followed by a two-beat pause before the father said, "okay, we'll take the Bugaboo." I just walked away scratching my head. I don't get it.
When was the last time you saw children WALKING down the street?
I've been kneecapped by those Conostoga Wagons!
My kids (3 boys) keep coming back to the toys that they can build with - Lego, Clics, K'nex. BTW - if you want a reminder of what life used to be like reread the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Corn-cob dolls! A rag doll was a big treasure.
As a new mom, I have relied on my mom to help me care for my new son; many people who do not have the benefit of having their family nearby now rely upon coaches and nannies to provide the services that grandparents formerly provided. Fifty years ago a sleep coach wasn't necessary because people had a network of family and friends that could provide them with support and advice. As more families have spread out across the country, people now have to pay for these services.
A sleep coach? You have to be kidding me. If you do not want the "inconveniences" of raising a baby then do not have one. Babies not sleeping is part of the deal and as a parent you deal with it. It is part of "growing up" as a parent. What's next? potty-training coach? sex-talk coach? dating coach?.
All this baby craziness is nothing more than an extension of "out of control "self-centerness" so prevalent these days. Maybe if this people would read more news from outside the U.S. they would realize that they could do very well with a 100-buck stroller while donating the $700 left over to a child in a poor country so that child and his family can eat.
if nothing, this is just another sign of what American culture is all about these days: mindless consumerism.
While some of your guest's comments make sense (developmental needs, commercialization) i find the hysteria about what is and isn't appropriate for kids and parents so irritating. it is really is great fodder for journalists -see Time Out New York's monthly columns about the subject- "Oh look at the crazy mothers". believe me a mother learns soon enough that they don't need a wipe warmer, but that is not worthy of the hysteria surrounding the option of a wipe warmer for sale. if your guest focused more on the over commercialization and developmental issues instead of taking the spin that bugaboo buying parents are lunatics it would be much more informative and helpful. by the way, these important issues are not specific to baby gear.
Lactation Consultant!
For a mother who wants to breastfeed and is having difficulty, hire a lactation consultant! We did, and it SAVED us! (Besides all the $$ we saved not buying formula)
When we used to live in the same neighborhood (or home) with mothers, aunts, sisters and others who breastfed and could help a new mother figure it out, lactation consultants were not necessary, but for urban professionals who live far from family and don't have that support, a lactation consultant can help fill that void.
I'm a veteran mom - parent of 2 teenagers who got most of their toys handed down from cousins or purchased secondhand. The best way to help your baby (in my opinion) develop is to talk to him or her, let her play imaginatively, and provide opportunities for creativity. There is no need to expound on the over-commercialization of everything to which our children are exposed.
An aside - Because I was always listening to WNYC at home, my older daughter had Brian Lehrer speaking during her morning naps. She began talking at 7 months and just recently scored through the roof on the verbal portion of SAT. Who needs baby classes?
why is a new car seat better than a used one?
Isn't the USA among some of the lowest performers when it come to education?? Sweden is about the size of NJ, hardly a relevant model to compare.
I agree on you point of toys for kids and their consumer-ization, what's you take on our current culture of over stimulation and sensory overloaded generation?
tv -- the gift that keeps on givin
and now, the DS!
I fully agree with the comments about how our children are being protected to "death." Being a good parent means having the courage to make the difficult choices, not the easy ones. It's doing what is BEST for the child, not what the child wants.
How will these kids compete with the children from China & India when they grow up? They will fall then, and we won't be there to help them up.
i only take taxis back for the airport. other than that i haven't been in a taxi for 5 years
I was lucky enough to have my kids long after most of my friends. We bought just a few things--a rocking chair, changing table and crib set all at very discount places. Everything else came from friends grateful to get rid of their barely used baby equipment or gifts. We have since given all of our gear to other new parents who also have been able to get great use out of this stuff before passing them on to the next family.
I really encourage others to get used stuff. There is absolutely no reason to spend so much money on things you use so little. I understand that you need to be aware if there are any safety issues with the things you "borrow", but these other families kids survived fine with these things and yours will too.
I think it's unfair to condemn parents for wanting to give their children what their hard work can afford. I, for one, grew up poor and worked since I was 13 years old. So, I'm happy that I can give my child many of the things I missed out on. What I find hard is that he's now so inundated with media/adverstising (at age 3) that make what little resistance I have is futile.
My children play with blocks / dolls and it is amazing to see the variety of creative ways they can build and create. don't be too down on the bugaboo though -- i don't have one i can see the value in a well designed stroller - that will last - that a parent will use day by day for at least 3 years. whatever you use strollers are item worth investing in nyc.
my pet peeve is the rock star or political t-shirts or babies? geez give your baby a break already!
PS...oh, and i just can't stand the argument that "my mother didn't need this so it is frivolous to have now". that just doesn't ring true. I am glad i have window guards and locks on the kitchen cabinets. i have heard terrible stories about accidents happening with out these- why take the chance. our mother's generation also took drugs with thalidamide...i think they made a good choice eliminating that one!
I feel sorry for parents today. Not only their “vulnerabilities” are being exploited in their faces, they actually buy into all of this while knowing it; a big bunch of brain-washed Americans indeed. I’m glad I don’t have any kids of my own.
The reason so many New Yorkers have car seats with no car is because you must have an infant in a car seat that straps into a stroller. Not just any stroller will work because an infant cannot hold up it's head. Love your show.
Hollywood definately puts undue pressure on your average Joe and Jane. I know countless parents who are working double the amount of time they were before they had children so they can afford a nanny. How is that logical? Working so much that you don't have time for your child, so that you can pay to have someone else take care of your child.
Am I taking crazy pills?
can we try to understand that consumerism is only going to make thig more difficult. in a way that we are even having this conversation is hilarious. why , for example, can we not orgaNIZE SCIETY SO THAT PEOPLE GET MORE TIME OFF WORK TO BE WITH THEIR CHILDREN? i realize that this might strike some as extremely naive but how much of our labor goes to fixing things that are a direct result of the conditions of working and overworking for increasingly smaller wages, steadily rising bonuses of ceo's and the unassuagable explosion of waste. is this our gift to our children? the market is a parasite.
I agree with all the points on over spending on kids' toys. But not only that - all these beautiful - but cheap - plastic toys are invariably a disappointment to my children, because they are so poorly constructed. The number of fancy spy toys or flying toys or other kinds of wonderful features that just don't work is astounding. The old wooden or metal versions were much better engineered and manufactured - justifying the higher cost...
Intelligent, college educated women also go into debt to pay for the one day extraveganza called "the wedding." There must be a special area of the brain that clicks on and causes us to lose our minds when our chilren arrive!
Brian asked if there was any =harm= in kids learning to read too early. I have 3 kids and I have also studied child rearing (I was Editor of a kids magazine...) and I say absolutely YES there is harm. Once a child learns to read, a piece of his or her imagination shuts off. We have all our lives to read, but only these few precious years to develop the imagination into a really powerful tool. My kids learned/are learning at around age 7. My 8 year old will pull a book off a shelf and go sit by himself and read for hours on end (he just spent the whole morning reading The Wizard of Oz) so obviously learning late did him no harm, and gave him a real love of reading to boot--a great lifelong gift!!
Parents don't just buy things because they are necessary. They want the best for their children. So, if you market something as extraordinary, then parents will want to buy it.
COLLECTING EXCESS BABY CLOTHES & TOYS FOR ORPHANAGES I have a four-month old baby, and have observed the immense forces and consumerism in the baby industry (and trying to resist it!). In my vicinity - Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens, Park Slope - stoop sales are best witness of the incredible amounts of things we're buying (I believe much too cheaply) and then disposing of regularly. My partner and I have begun to collect baby clothes, toys and books that aren't needed anymore for donation to orphanages in Southeast Asia ( first shipment of ca. 25 boxes worth of items going out end of this month). Please email if you have anything to contribute. Thank you.
Snake oil salesmen prey on anxiety, and the prospect of having a baby certainly creates more anxiety than almost anything else in life.
My son is 2 1/2 months old and yes it is very overwelming to battle the onslaught of what you supposedly "need". We are pretty low key on all the stuff however I did splurge on 3, yes 3 pack-n-plays: one for our home, one for my parent's house and one for my office. I initially felt like I was being indulgent but it has saved my sanity and my arms.
.....the next incarnation of "crossfire".
I think the reason that people take such great pleasure in the victimization of these tragic people is because they're such a festering blister on our urban landscape. The "look at the lunatic mother" response is a reaction to the entitled parents and their jumbo strollers taking their half of the sidewalk from the middle; their poorly behaved children running through stores and restaurants; and the fact that nothing makes people less interesting and less intelligent to converse with than a new child.
Crass commercialization has many victims. But I don't enjoy the shadenfreude of $300 jeans or urban hummers in the era of $4 gasoline nearly as much as watching these parents getting fleeced. It's enough to make you believe in Karma.
My husband and I both have Ph.D's and make excellent salaries--more than enough to support our two year old. We made the deliberate decision not be materialists when she was born. Her bedroom furniture are hand-me-downs, and we have Graco products, which work just fine. We buy toys at thrift stores and garage sales, if we need them at all. We are the only ones who are not pushing a bug-a-boo or McLaren, but we are also the only ones who are renting a beach house in Maine this summer so we can expose our daughter to the wonderful world of nature.
I also find it interesting that in my sister's Park Slope neighborhood, everyone has a bug-a-boo or McLaren stroller; however, when we cross the park to a less wealthy area, we fit right in with the people using Graco or other less expensive products. I think it is sad that parents have to use baby products to distinguish themselves as wealthy in a particular area. They are now being used as socio-cultural artifacts to mark status.
what about moms who become stay-at-home moms with only one child, and the classes, books, activities, etc. become a way for mom to not blow her brains out from the boredom of doing the same thing every day?
Jeez, how did another generation of humans in America ever survive with this bunch of neurotic morons raising kids?!
Just yesterday I was in my local Borders to research the current magazine titles on parenting for a media campaign I am working on for a series of LGBT workshops on parenting. I was amazed by the number of glossy magazines just on pregnancy alone -- at least a dozen. I said to my wife afterwards how I can see a first-time pregnant mom just being sucked into buying every one of these publications and being overwhelmed by both information and contradictory information. Her response: "I don't think I read a single book on parenting when I was pregnant." P.S. -- So far, our 21 & 24 year old daughters have turned out pretty well.
Having all these products available really gets in the way of us actually LOOKING at who our child is. Even 13 yrs ago, when I had my daughter, there was pressure to get some sort of automatic rocker and play mats w built-in toys, both of which were lost on my daughter who couldn't tolerate the rockers or play by herself--she needed to be held and liked to explore her environment rather than play w toys. We need to take the time to look at who out child is as an individual, and have the confidence to provide for that child's needs, and not be seduced, in our anxiety about being good parents, by the vast amount of products available. In addition, all these products have the effect of homogenizing the local population of children, so that everyone is the same and no none is different, which leads to a whole other issue re how we value individuality in our society.
As a single, childless woman I find this discussion disturbing.
The central theme of political candidates is often "struggling families," tax codes are written to financially support chilren or reimburse parents for a child's expense, and I find that childless people are marginalized in favor of adults with children.
It appears that much of this support is wasted on consumerism.
How about a study that would show the association between high income parents that can afford these extra baby gadgets versus low income new parents?
I am an education consultant working with K-2 teachers. I watch a lot of kids as they learn to read and write. One thing I have noticed, though not quantitatively researched, is that children who use a lot of tech and media stuff (electronic games, TV, leapfrogs, etc.) have a hard time engaging with books. They expect the book to provide all the entertainment, like the toys and TV do. This obviously affects comprehension. Sadly, most tests only test literal comprehension anyway, so you may not know your children's comprehension is poor unless you actually try to talk to them about their books. Which you may not be apt to do if you are giving them a lot of video games and TV. hmmm.
LEGOS!!!
Buy your kids LEGOS!
Take a trip to a large, chain pet store and you'll see that what we're doing to (for?) our babies and toddlers, people are beginning to do to their pets. People crowd the store examining the thousands of products designed to make your pet more comfortable, stimulate intelligence, and increase their "cuteness."
I'm sure these pet owners feel that if they fail to provide their dogs with these products, Fido won't reach his full potential.
Hi Brian,
I run a toy development company and was really hoping you'd get to the reasons why the price of toys will (and needs) to go up.
I'd be happy to give our persepctive from the ideation and manufacturing perspective.
My 7-mo. old's favorite toy right now is a pot holder.
IF you are saying that alot of this stuff undermines parents' sense of their own competency, it seems to me that you are doing the same thing!
Now we will all worry that we are getting TOO much stuff for the kids, doing too many things.
I think you also don't give parents and kids enough credit. NO matter what toys or services people give or dont give their kids, the most important things is how they behave and interact with each other.
Mark,
when my daughter was that age, her favorite toy was a dish towel. Perhaps they should meet!
I agree with Jill #40. You have to find what's right for you and your family, so I don't immediately poo-poo on parents who are right buying what they think is the latest and greatest things because they have great expectations for their babies. As parents & children grow older, the parents' expectations of their will adjust to deal with reality while still aiming for the best.
Whining self-absorbed affluent people confessing they've allowed themselves to become so 'over-educated' that they no longer understand that being s good parent has nothing to do with credit-abuse to 'buy' tons of stuff that u don't 'need' to raise a child - this program is embarassing. When is the program scheduled to discuss the need to litigate against 'they' who are making us so dumb?
Not that I have much authority as someone who is a long way from being a parent. But I might imagine that a lot of the insecurity and lack of confidence young parents feel result from the weaker strength of extended families and the vacuum of advice left where in previous generations parents would have taught young expectant parents how to raise their children.
I agreed with Sara, unless you do have support of network nearby, who have to those professionals who can help. Now the support system doesn't mean you have to include Auntie Mae who can't leave the house with her flask of gin. ;-)
When my son was a baby I read a book called "How to raise a brighter child", by Joan Beck.
Despite the pompous name it is the smartest book on child education I read. One of the advices that I've never forgot was to buy toys that are 5% toy and 95% child. So we bought him Legos, books, other things that make him work. He only had a folding umbrolla for a carriage and second hand clothes.
My son is now 33, graduated with honors from an Ivy League school, decided that he didn't want to work in front of a computer eight hours a day, and went to grad school where he studied architecture.
He doesn't own a TV set, and is the most moral person I know.
Parents should spend more time on the floor with their kids or reading them Dr. Seuss books and less time driving their SUVs to stores and shop for ridiculous stuff.
I love all the smug, chest bearing and back slapping on this thread...so what you don't buy your kid brand-new toys or clothing? I lived in a town where many of the Moms were these neo-hippy women who quit working, organically grew their food, only buy used, eschewed TV and DVDs in their homes, participated in cooperative parenting and alternative education. All this effort, doesn't make you any less indulgent or your kids any smarter/happier/well-behaved.
I agree with #49 & #51. She wished she had an auto swing when we were little because we kids, especially me, were some high maintenance babies that she couldn't put down for five minutes to eat much more cook. With her and my Dad are home, she doesn't cook and send's him to Trader Joe's to get his meal. ;-)
Right on James! (#80)
Adult cartoons like "Family Guy" and recently canceled "Drawn Together" have themselves been satirizing the greater commercialization of children's toys in our culture by including brief
scenes in episodes of a tv-commercial with a snake-oil salesman boasting of the million different uses of even very simple toys like "ball-in-cup".
Though many of the parent listeners interested in this topic probably don't watch "Family Guy",
I recommend they at least youtube "Family Guy Ball in Cup commercial" to get a sense of how the Adult Cartoons are putting their own satiric spin on this issue.
I wish we can honestly discuss about each other how are childhood, good or bad, affects our present decisions especially with parenting.
I have an aquantice (sp) who is up to her ears with having her two children, 5 & 10, maximize their potential and take advantage of all the opptys(s) available.
She said she wanted to give her kids what she didn't get from being in a small 2.5 bedroom and one bath home with eight siblings, who were back-to-back. She was the 4th. She said though felt loved and appreciated her parents doing the best to provide for them, she really didn't get that alone time with her parents to for them to get to know who she was/is independent of her siblings.
What happened to the old-fashioned college fund? Think of it, anywhere from $500 to $3000 (i'm guessing) to start accruing interest, instead of wasteful temporary stuff. That and regular trips to a kid-friendly dentist, and you are set! My favorite games and toys growing up involved playing under the dining-room table, making dolls out of paper napkins, and adventures along the "river" that ran behind our yard (drainage ditch). Plenty of books in the house, and I tested early into GATE/honors class. P.S. I grew up well-off in a gated community, but my parents didn't buy in to wasteful purchases. Instead we were surrounded by family-- always entertaining!
oh my, the judgment and generalization of people for owning certain products. No need to agree with their choices but it doesn't make them lunatics.
We have absolutely no room for a lot of 'gear' or the desire to spent money on it... lots of borrowed stuff, hand-me downs, self-made toys etc.
We do own a Bugaboo (family gift). What a great buy that was. And we haul a lot more around the city then just our son. (we have no car you see)
We also have a tiny stroller for plane travel (brand new, found in the garbage).
My mother said she wished certain things were available when we were young.
I'm a parent of 2 teens. We bought some useful stuff and some crap. Some new, some from Goodwill. Some "educational" (that were boring and nobody used) and some stupid but we had some fun with and still enjoy laughing about while watching old family videos. Some great toys were free like the dirt of my back yard where my kids dug endless numbers of holes. I think that alot of this "get this or else " / "do that or else" culture isn't really marketing. It's just an extension of the "queenbee / wanabee" culture that is so pervasive in middle and high school and continues in many sectors of out adult lives. Can you believe the caller, an experienced mother of two teens, getting whipped by her "friends" (all either pegnant with first children or mothers of infants) over somehow being "clueless" on the subject of the latest child rearing dingleberrys and bulsh***t. Hopefully she'll trust her own gut and experience.
Love it! I talk about much of the same stuff in my book The Gay Uncle's Guide to Parenting (Crown 2008). Diaper wipe warmers are a particular pet peeve of mine; I even had a fight with an interviewer over them! As someone who has been both a long-term early childhood educator, and now works as a research consultant to producers of kids' media, toys, and consumer products, I know this world inside and out and from numerous directions. I'd love to continue the conversation with all of you, so come talk to me.
http://www.askgayuncle.com
"Uncle" Brett Berk
Leave a Comment
Please stay on topic, be civil, and be brief.
Back to EpisodeEmail addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments. Names are displayed with all comments. WNYC reserves the right to edit any comments posted on this site. Please read the WNYC.org Comment Guidelines before posting.