wnyc.org / 93.9fm / am 820

Comments

• [1] Joan from Manhattan April 11, 2008 - 10:08AM

  OOf course single mothers and fathers are viewed differently. Though some (especially those with personal experience) can appreciate the stamina and honor of a single mom, most in society view them as sad/pitiful, promiscuous/ irresponsible and deserving of the difficulties they have after getting themselves into such a "mess".

  Single fathers, on the other hand are nearly always viewed as extra virtuous for their "sacrifice" in parenting alone.

  I can't say I'm immune to these society judgments, and I LOVED and completely appreciated my single mom growing up!!

  
  
• [2] Maya from Brooklyn April 11, 2008 - 11:10AM

  Interesting that he HAD to grow up when his wife left him, but it didn't occur to him to grow up before he had kids. Probably why she left him. Just saying....

  
  
• [3] Anonymous from NY April 11, 2008 - 11:15AM

  It's my experience that the reaction to "single" in single parent often depends on the circumstances of being single.

  Widowed? Utter sympathy, you are beyond reproach.

  Divorced? Some reproach maybe, but understandable.

  Never married to begin with? Then if you are female, you're a floozy and if you're male, you are a prince because the mother of the child was an irresponsible floozy and left.

  
  
• [4] keith from hells kitchen April 11, 2008 - 11:16AM

  gimme a break! He had a "live in Nanny" and "students helping out". Doesn't sound so bad to me.

  
  
• [5] Ellen Bakalian from greenwich village April 11, 2008 - 11:17AM

  Is he a single dad? Or a widowed parent? There's a difference! If he's divorced, doesn't his wife take the kids every other weekend? Or has she checked out and has no contact with the children?

  
  
• [6] Lizann Coleman from Glen Ridge, NJ April 11, 2008 - 11:18AM

  No wonder his wife left him: he's suffering from arrested development. She had not 2 but 3 children.

  On another note: how many interviews have you conducted with single moms for the very reason that they are single moms? This guy thinks he's the only single parent and must write about it. He needs to grow up, indeed!

  
  
• [7] Kris from New Jersey April 11, 2008 - 11:20AM

  I was divorced and had a relationship with somoene for 3 years and they had no interaction with my child. I do not believe that the parents significan other should be introduced as anything more than a friend uless you are planning to marry.

  It creates a lot of confusion with the children and could possibly lead to abandonment issues that might already have be inflicted on them with the divorce.

  
  
• [8] ab April 11, 2008 - 11:21AM

  He had a live in nanny.....I'd like to hear from someone who can't afford that. Enough with these spoiled narcissistic yuppie types who feel they are so important that they must write a book.

  
  
• [9] Alysia from brooklyn April 11, 2008 - 11:36AM

  My widowed father raised me alone from when i was age 2.5. i feel incredibly lucky to have been raised by a single dad. i think i grew up better able to believe in and look for the gentle, nurturing side of men whereas some of my girlfriends had a harder time trusting men.

  
  
• [10] Perry Jones from Paramus, NJ April 11, 2008 - 07:21PM

  When you're standing on one leg it's easy to get thrown off balance. When I entered the ranks of single fatherdom in 1992 it was uncommon for a man to be in the position usually occupied by a young girl. The public at large would give me a curious glance when I'd explain I was the custodial parent struggling to make ends meet to feed myself and my son, and climb out of despair. I had been working as a musician since graduating high school and didn't know much else. It's been the most wonderful, painful, challenging, rewarding experience of my life. I've written a book about the experiencs, and I'm currently looking for a literary agent. If anyone's interested I can be reached at wof2000@gmail.com

  
  
• [11] Greg from Clifton NJ April 12, 2008 - 12:05AM

  Is there club for Single Fathers? Or web side? News group?

  Let's unite and stay in touch!

  Though I never had nanny or payed babysitter, every my girlfriend is introduced to my friends and my daughter as Babysitter at list at the beginning. When daughter asked me " Daddy why do you need girl if I am the girl" my answer was: "Darling, you like to play with people of you age, and I like to play with people of my age. Adults like to play games too, only children have children games and adults have own games for big people." And it looked like she was satisfied with my explanation.

  She knows were I am looking and she feels what I am thinking. Sometime she even pointing my attention saying: "Look daddy - there is pretty lady!!!" And she knows what is pretty. If that is beautiful for her - is beautiful for me too.

  I am raising my daughter alone without nanny. Now she is 9 and I am 40+. She is always with me. Two year ago I learned flying and receive Pilot License. She too was flying a lot through Young Eagles program. Year ago I learned and got Scuba diving license. She was snorkeling with me. I am hiking in Harriman State park 8 miles with a group and she is there.

  You can see all that on her website: http://picasaweb.google.com/kamiliva

  
  
• [12] Greg from Clifton NJ April 12, 2008 - 12:08AM

  I took dancing lesson, she was dancing better then most ladies there. I went with her to pilates class and found myself there alone with about 50 pretty women. I was surprised because pilates is very powerful thing invented by men for prisoners...

  I never have been married, so my daughter didn't go through all that separation pain. She see her mom once in few month and understand that is much better to be with dad. All those rituals and traditions are not known to children. They take everything for granted. Children are more concerned with relations between same age friends, then with daddy's friends.

  
  
• [13] Erma from NYC June 05, 2008 - 10:47PM

  What about single with grown children?!

  There are alot of us out there flying solo.