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Let's Talk About Sex

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Nancy Biberman, president of Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation (WHEDCO) in the Bronx argues that sex education should be mandatory in New York's public schools. She is joined by Estephania Paredes, a 9th grade student activist in the WHEDCO program. Then Reverend Debra H. Haffner, a Unitarian Universalist minister and sexologist answers parents' questions about teaching sex ed.

WHEDCO
Debra Haffner's Blog


Comments

  • [1] Rana Barar from Piscataway, NJ December 19, 2007 - 11:17AM

    I managed a teen-written Web site about sexual health called Sexetc.org. We feel that sexual health information is ALWAYS helpful, not harmful. We hear from teens all over the country that they ARE NOT getting enough information about sex from their parents and schools. They are desperate for the information they need to keep them safe and turn to sites like ours to get what they need. Parents, of course, have a roll to play in passing on their values around sex and sexuality. But, schools have a roll as well - not only to give the mechanics, but also to give teens the negotiation skills.


  • [2] markbnj from online: http://my-poem-a-day.com or markbnj.blogspot.com December 19, 2007 - 11:21AM

    Hey. stop look and listen.

    Look at today's top headline

    Brittany's 16 year old sister is Knocked-up.

    I think that proves that even Hollywood actresses that their parents think are "perfect" (she never ever missed a curfew, she said...)

    It's reprehensible that NYC doesn't make it mandatory

    And first lesson should be.

    your body is YOURS, and no boy is ever worth it if he says, if you loved me, you;d do it...

    end of discussion


  • [3] anonymous December 19, 2007 - 11:22AM

    it should absolutely be taught in schools, i'm very surprised it's not


  • [4] RJ from brooklyn December 19, 2007 - 11:25AM

    I'm 1,000,000 percent in favor of thoughtful sex education and discussion in school. But what do teachers and others do when the parents are 1,000,000 percent against it? What mechanisms can be put in place to protect (in my view) the children's right to know and the parents' right to determine the best for their children?


  • [5] Paulo from Paterson, New Jersey December 19, 2007 - 11:27AM

    I think anybody who feels threatened to have their kids taught facts about sex should get options... 1) Their kid can be declared a sexual health risk and removed from the school, 2) The parent can take off from work and come into the school to teach their kid in a one-on-one session, or 3) They can get over their ignorance and let the school teach the facts and handle the morals themselves at home.


  • [6] RJ from brooklyn December 19, 2007 - 11:32AM

    Paulo's options range from harsh to impossible, especially for 2, which applies only to parents in jobs that will allow for such "time off" (especially since NYS doesn't have a paid family leave program). Does anyone have any viable, systemic suggestions?


  • [7] Maya from Brooklyn December 19, 2007 - 11:38AM

    My mom was so graphically out in the open about the facts of life that she turned me squeamish and I didn't know how to say "Too much information, had enough now, thanks!" I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I didn't want to talk to her about anything to do with sex. So I talked to my aunt, or my older brother's girlfriends. The important thing was that I had close, trusted adults in my life that I could relate to and talk to about sex. COMMUNITY is so important to young women.


  • [8] ab December 19, 2007 - 11:42AM

    I like Paulo's option #1

    It's almost 2008....it's absurd that anyone would have an issue with sex-ed being taught in school. The parents can put their spin on it at home or don't send their kid to public school if they really are that backward.


  • [9] Annie Jane from Brooklyn/Manhattan December 19, 2007 - 11:42AM

    I agree with you Markbnj! I think the education needs to fall with the boys as much as with the girls. It's very important to teach young minds attached to potent sperm of the value of having educated and productive women in a civilized society. I find it so hard to believe that in this day and age with so much media around and every square inch of Manhattan covered in ads, like young girls REGARDLESS of their ethnicity can't put two and two together and come up with the conclusion that having sex makes babies! COME ON! They know. What they don't know is just how difficult it is to raise kids with barely a highschool education, they don't believe they have other options. They haven't been told or taught that school is more important than their love relationships.


  • [10] Rachel from NYC December 19, 2007 - 11:43AM

    MUCH TOO SHORT A SEGMENT!!! This is so important and you cut it short to talk about the ethics of re-gifting?!


  • [11] Annie Jane from Brooklyn/Manhattan December 19, 2007 - 11:51AM

    RJ

    I think Paulo was being extreme to show a point at just how ridiculous parents who don't want to have sex ed taught in school are being. There are no other options. It should be taught in school! I am from a middle-class family and my mother, though she was married to my father when she had me and my brother, never talked to me about sex or my body or menstruating or anything! if it wasn't for the visiting nurse and 'the talk' and magazines like Just 17 (I grew up in the UK) I'd be so clueless.


  • [12] Mark from Rockland December 19, 2007 - 11:53AM

    I saw Debra Haffner speak at an event up here in Nyack - she was wonderful. It was sponsored by a great organization doing work on helping parents talk to their kids about sex - realliferealtalk.org.

    Thanks for a great segment.

    M.


  • [13] Annie Jane from Brooklyn/Manhattan December 19, 2007 - 11:53AM

    I'm with you Rachel!!!!! You're right!


  • [14] dr. andrea freud loewenstein from brooklyn December 19, 2007 - 12:35PM

    I was very disappointed when Rev. Haffner told the man who called in wanting to know how to explain gayness to his young son first to tell him the plain facts ("While most people grow up to fall in love with a member of the other sex, others fall in love with someone of the same sex," and then to insert "your own family's values." Not only is this not a neutral phrase, but she implied that any family value is as good as any other, which makes,"Gays are cursed by God and should be eliminated," a fine response. (She gave a tolerant example of her own family's response, but it was only an example.) I am a teacher at CUNY whose students, when they found out that (no secret) I an a lesbian, threw the papers I was handing back on the floor rather than to take them from my "filthy" hands. While extreme, this has happened several times. These students' values come from their families and their church. In such a climate it is imperative that a minister of a church that holds different views uses such a show to speak out very clearly. Silence, again in this case, can equal death.

    From a disappointed listener.


  • [15] sara from bronx December 19, 2007 - 11:14PM

    Oh dear. I feel if that if that the time we spend pondering IF we should talk about sex with teenagers or not, were to be used actually talking about sex, we would have a much more educated and probably responsible generation. People are going to figure out how to have sex. What the hell is so wrong with teaching them about the consequences and how to prevent them?


  • [16] DM from NA December 21, 2007 - 12:20PM

    When my sister was a supervising social worker in the Dept. of Welfare's foster care division, social workers were not allowed to discuss any sex issues with their clients ie. prevention/abortion. Do you know if this mandate still exists? P.S. It occurs to me now that my question was not directly related to sex education in the school; however,the subject is important enough, I think, to justify another go-around that includes social agencies that work with families and teenagers.


  • [17] bdubya from lubbock tx December 21, 2007 - 06:30PM

    Teach sex it's good it would help stop teen pregancies, and stds, for real.


This thread is closed.


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