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Seasonal Etiquette
Friday, November 23, 2007
Caroline Tiger,a Philadelphia-based freelance magazine writer and author of How to Behave: Dating and Sex: A Guide to Modern Manners for the Socially Challenged on avoiding missteps under the mistletoe and staying sane amid December mania.
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Comments
how does one become an authority on manners? is there a college major?
How can you advocate using fossil fuels and cutting down trees to send holiday greetings on paper by mail in this era of fighting global warming? And right after having No Impact Man on the show? Shame!
agreed with #2.
this is the future!
what's wrong with sending an electronic card with a nice, personal (electronic) note attached?
many of my friends make their own e-cards using their own digital photos and animation and i love getting them.
e-cards don't use any fossil fuel, don't cost the sender anything for stamps, and one can easily send cards to hundreds of friends that you don't regularly keep in touch with and don't have addresses for.
http://someecards.com/
Cheeky, sometimes inappropriate, but (nearly) always hysterical. For people like me, in their mid-20s, who happen to think that typical greeting cards in general are trite and pointless, I wouldn't look anywhere else.
E-cards are dreadful. I hate downloading them and often just ignore them.
How do I feel about e-cards. Well just this morning I sent one to my friends who had me over for Thanksgiving Dinner yesterday to thank them for a wonderful meal and company. And to add insult to the injury of sending an e-card, I sent a FREE e-card.
I HATE e-cards, because they are trite, lazy, annoying, insulting, and sometimes inconvenient for the recipient to download, depending on their computer situation.
Show some respect and spend a few dollars on purchasing a real card, take the time and effort to write it out, put a stamp on it, etc.
Behind the times! My phone was of the hook yesterday with text messages wishing me a happy holiday. Many were aquaintences and some good friends that I'm guessing didn't want to impose a "conversation" of well wishes, but all the same, a nice gesture. I liked it; no email "delete" hassle.
E-cards are so spurious. I save cards from very special people and E-cards are not conducive to this.
As the woman says, there's nothing like receiving cards amidst junk mail and bills. And 10 or 15 years from now, you'll be very glad you sent and received a good old-fashioned Christmas card.
What I don't understand is why some people seem incapable of accepting good wishes of whatever specific or non-specific variety. I will happily accept whatever good wishes you want to give me. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy Diwali, whatever. I take 'em all.
My mother is definitely a secular person, and the grandmother of one of her students always greeted her with "God bless you, maestra." Did my mother say "Get outa my face with your God!"? No, she just said "Thank you."
The world will be a far better place after everyone stops tripping all over PEEE CEEE precepts, people are far more resilient.
As the UWS side man called, as a Gentile, if someone wished me a Happy Hanukkah, I would think it lovely and gracious and say, "Thank You."
Happy Holidays can include Arbor Day or Pancake Tuesday, so indeed, it says NOTHING.
When speaking to individuals as opposed to rooms full of people I think it's a good idea to ask what holiday they are celebrating and wish them a happy that.
People who send e cards are lame.
About Caroline's advice to be "evasive" and say the NEUTRAL "Happy Holidays" in order to not offend anyone: What I am concerned about is the obliteration of DIVERSITY by asking or expecting everyone to conform to a neutral holiday greeting.
Why not allow a multicolored mosaic or tapestry rather than the uniform, melting-pot stew of culture that Caroline favors?
Caroline seems to believe that "Happy Holidays" respects multi-culturalism, but it actually erases it by making our wishes of good will to one another CONFORM, rather than to be expressively DIVERSE.
Must I say Happy Holidays on Gay Pride Day in order not to offend people who might not be gay?
Caroline, you go too far with your souless greeting plan.
I agree with Jim on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
P.S. Let me be among the first to wish you all A Very Merry Chirstmas . . . .
I think e-cards are lazy and annoying, I usually just delete them. I am a HUGE advocate of traditional cards, not hallmark ones, letterpress, silkscreen or illustrated cards that I spend time looking for and making sure I send ahead of time so they are received on the correct date. Call me old-fashioned, but I also believe in slow, local food, making my own jam, applesauce and beer and bringing a non-plastic bag to the the store, all of which has a much bigger impact environmentally than not sending a few cards a year.
I don't know why it is so wonderful to pollute the environment and chop down trees so that I can haul bags of paper to the recycle bin. I can see the same wonderful photo of your kids online, or not, if I choose. The only difference is that if I choose not to bother with that 77th card I don't care about, I still have to haul it to the recycle bin whether I open it or not. Why are phony printed sentiments on paper wonderful, while similar sentiments sent electroically are trite? The latter is cheaper and easier on the environment. Do you only value the card for the dollar sign printed on the back? I'd rather sent a contribution to charity.
Dear WNYC,
Please do edit my just posted comment. I noticed two typos. I've got to stop posting at 3 AM.
How about we stop worrying about the words people use to wish us happiness and start appreciating their kindness?
And by the way, for the poor put-upon Italian American who as such was having his ethnicity insulted by those saying "happy holidays" (and just who wishes any one a "Happy Arbor Day", in December no less?), as a Jewish Italian American I am highly offended by his claims that Italian American = Catholic. How dare he! So to him, I say "Felice Anucha"... wanna make something of it? Come on, I'll take you on!
I like to say Yuletide Cheer or Happy Solstice, which refer to our shared human experience of the shortest day of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere).
The "reason for the season" is not Jesus, but the Winter Solstice.
I'm killing two birds with one stone this season...I'll be making collages from all the crappy red state meat, cheeseball, and patriotic shower curtain catalogs (I'm looking at YOU, Swiss Colony!) and sending these out as cards. If I love you look for the 20 ft sausage rope/toilet golf juxtaposition in your mailbox.
This thread is closed.
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