wnyc.org / 93.9fm / am 820

Comments

• [1] Robert from NYC August 03, 2007 - 10:49AM

  Then he's NOT gay he's bisexual. I have no compassion nor respect for bisexuals. Blech! All "real" gay closet queens should be outed!!! This, as you may guess, is really touchy for me, a very gay man.

  
  
• [2] Diana Manister from Staten Island NY August 03, 2007 - 10:50AM

  Are these closeted bisexual men telling their wives about their gay hookups? Isn't it unethical to expose these wives to the danger of HIV infection without their permission?

  
  
• [3] anon from Brooklyn,NY August 03, 2007 - 10:55AM

  I am sick and tired of people sympathizing with gay men who led a double life as a straight married man. Especially ones that hide their struggle from their wives and put them at risk. The world is a lot more accomodating now and if they are gay - be gay and come out. If they are bisexual - be bisexual and but for goodnesss sake don't deceive the wives!! It's so obviously wrong for them to have this double life and it really bothers me that this issue is out there.

  
  
• [4] Jon Pope from Hewitt, NJ August 03, 2007 - 10:56AM

  Sorry, it doesn’t matte if your heterosexual, bi sexual or homosexual. No matter how you try to justify it, Infidelity is infidelity. You have no business pretending to be in a monogamous relationship if you’re not monogamous with your partner….

  
  
• [5] Robert from NYC August 03, 2007 - 10:56AM

  These men should let their wives-to-be know what their sexual orientation/s is/are before marriage. They destroy the lives of others including their families if they later have children. This is a terrible thing to do to others; it's selfish.

  Yes it's a "bi" issue/problem not a gay one. I support LGT no B for me.

  
  
• [6] Christopher Deignan from Middle Village, Queens August 03, 2007 - 10:57AM

  Sorry, sympathy? These men have lied to their wives. They need to know who and what they are before they get married. They are cheating on their wives. I was on the other side of this, when my ex-wife revealed to me that she was having a lesbian affair. If we talking about straight men having affairs would we be using words like sympathy? To be honest, I really could care less about the feelings of these "mixed up" people. They need to take responsibility for who they are and stop leaving deception and hurt in their wake. I'm assuming some of these men have children also?

  
  
• [7] Mark Zimmermann from Brooklyn August 03, 2007 - 10:59AM

  The focus on closeted bisexuality really serves to obscure the fact that men are being unfaithful to their wives. The online services Brian's guests mention are just as available (and utilized, I've no doubt) to fully heterosexual ment seeking women as sex partners. Why would we seek to approve in some way that these men are unwilling to honor their marital commitments. Surely gay men use the web to cheat on their male partners. I really fail to see why bisexual should have some kind of implied special license to be unfaithful.

  
  
• [8] J. A. King August 03, 2007 - 10:59AM

  Are you sure that these men are gay? Couldn't they be bisexual? Kinsey's Scale based on his research showed that sexuality is either gay or straight, but there is a spectrum of behavior.

  One thing about today's society is that it is okay to be straight or gay, but being bisexual is not acceptable. Jim McGreevey could be bisexual since he had relations with both men and women, but instead of saying he was bisexual me said he was gay.

  
  
• [9] we plant from usa August 03, 2007 - 11:00AM

  men and women can be closeted or carry-on any freak they like with adult, consenting partners. however, if they are married and living, having sex, etc. with a partner, they owe that spouse an explaination. secret lives are out in marriage.

  
  
• [10] naomi dagen bloom from manhattan August 03, 2007 - 11:01AM

  HIV...AIDS...there is no other conversation. What ever happened to safe sex as the primary issue of concern for gay men?

  www.alittleredhen.com trying to raise awareness through Condom Amulets as the new way to talk about what we seem to have pushed aside.

  
  
• [11] David Ezell (BetterThanEver.info) from New York, NY August 03, 2007 - 11:07AM

  I am the expert who made the first comment--the one with support groups for bisexuals.

  It is very easy to stand by the sidelines and make moral pronouncements about cheating and honesty in relationships.

  Our culture forces people to be outsiders or insiders with no room between the two. So many times young men with desires for both sexes are pushed by families and church to decide. Everyone is a victim as a result, both the man and his wife.

  Letting the woman know and allowing her to make a choice to stay or go is optimal, but a very hard goal to reach. Let's try to drop or old school preconceptions about "cheating"; let's try to be understanding as these men, like all of us, discover ourselves.

  David Ezell

  betterthanever.info

  
  
• [12] straightbutnotnarrow from Brooklyn/Manhattan (work) August 03, 2007 - 01:28PM

  I agree in secret with Robert. Though I am one of those liberal types who offers lip-service to any cause I feel supports freedom, I secretly do not trust bi-sexuals and feel a little bad saying this. If this is truly an orientation, then why would one need to stray? Preumably if you're bi, you are capable of nesting and setting up a home with a man OR a woman, but why at the same time? Are bi-sexuals really gay people who are afraid of coming out? In my secret heart of hearts, I think so though I would never act out against someone who called themselves bi. People who claim to be bi I have often discovered are THE loudest in constantly proclaiming their orientation. I don't hear lesbians who have been out for sometime constantly feeling the need to express it and I know many gay men who just live their lives without their sexuality being a governing factor. I feel comfortable with gay men and I love talking to gay women because the usual crap that straight women put up as barriers between each other is gone and I feel I can truly enjoy honest conversation, but people who are bi always have that sense of uncomfortability about them. It seems to govern their lives and choices and this program illustrated this. If you are in a relationship and taking affection, or sexual pleasure from another person without the knowledge of your primary partner then you are cheating on them. This happened to a family member of mine and he ended up going through a painful divorce. Cheating is cheating.

  
  
• [13] Graham Palmer from Bradford, Ontario, Canada August 22, 2007 - 09:08AM

  Bisexuals are in reality heterosexuals who occasionally engage in same sex behaviour. It is not a sexual orientation. plain and simple. These heterosexuals are users and liers. Just ask one. Rand Watson of Michigan who now lives in Etobicoke Ontario Canada( highway 401 and Weston road) is just such a person.a college teacher at Humber college lakeshore campus he's left behind same sex casualties of war back in Ontario California where he lived previously. He's now with a woman here in Canada who has no idea of his sexual past. I wonder if she'd still be willing to continue going out with him once she knew the truth about him.I'm his latest casualty here in Canada. He says he's in the closet but given all the pain and suffering he continues to cause where ever he goes on this planet he ought to be exposed especially to the straight community in California, Michigan and Toronto Canada where he continues his academy award winning performance in sexual orientation.

  
  
• [14] Rand Watson from Etobicoke,Ontario August 31, 2007 - 11:29PM

  I can't come out as Bisexual because my parents brother and sister would freak. I'm a college teacher and so far I've been able to put off the idea of traditional marraige because of my busy career. My Folks are old fashioned Dutch-English-German country farmers in rural part of Michigan where they grow blue berries. If they found out about my homosexual tendencies I'd be banished from the family as an outcast. I'm now dating a wonderful woman in the hopes it leads to heterosexual marraige thus alaying any doubts or fears in my parents mind about my sexual orientation.I'm 47 and this a sacrifice I must make to retain my families conditional love. That's just the way it has to be.