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JP, aren't your parents saints? Perhaps you didn't go on a plane because all of your family also lived in the garden state. Luckily your folks weren't pulled away from family seeking a job or other such opportunity. But your point isn't taken lightly: I'd much rather never see my neices and nephews and have my own children grow up having never met their grandparents, just to avoid the chance that you aren't slightly annoyed one day for a couple hours.

the rules

1. Keep your cool. Flying is stressful in many ways and can become a gauntlet of mishaps major and minor that can push a person past irritation.
Remain calm, collect,and patient at all times.

2. Defeating the "me monster". You are not the only one on the plane. Be mindful, helpful, empathetic, and kind. As soon as you board the plane, you are all on the same team. (wait for the rows in front of you to get off the plane before you, unless you are bleeding).

3. Mind you Mouth. Do not speak of crashing, stories of carnage, terrorism, or explosives. The word bomb can get you in big trouble. If you are a chatter box, and you have to strike up conversation; please wait at least half way through the flight.

4. Carrying On your Carry On. You know who you are. 2 bags. 1 small bag... 1 personal bag (purse). Noone like to get on the plane and have all the overhead space taken by people with no self control while packing.

5. Center seat gets both armrests... without question.

Happy flying.

Please don't dress for the beach when taking a flight. Last week on a cross-country flight, the man across the way was wearing a sleevless T-shirt, very short shorts and sandals. He also needed a shower. We don't have to go back to wearing a dress suit stockings for the flight, but no one wants to be next to a nearly-naked stranger so intimately.

Hillary,

Your right, young kids are not designed for air travel because their ear canals have not properly developed yet. So really taking an infant on a plane unless its absolutely necessary is putting the child in harm and unnecessary pain. And to those that ask “wasn’t I kid once?” Yes and my parents took me everywhere but my first flight was not until I was 5 years old because my parents knew that air travel can be very painful for an infant and very disturbing to the other passengers.

All this talk of babies on planes reminds me of a column Vir Sanghvi wrote for Mint on the same subject:

http://www.livemint.com/2007/05/26002816/Honey-I-lost-the-kids-I-thin.html

Ahhh I'm done now, that felt good! Thank Brian!

Regarding the ban on cell phone usage, I remember reading somewhere -- Slate comes to mind -- that the airline companies do that because it somehow messes with the satellites for the cell phone companies.

Of course, that doesn't help explain why the ban applies to all electronic devices, but I'm curious what you turn up for Follow-Up Friday.

In the Air: Flight attendant, slow down and enunciate, granted no one is listening but just in case!

People really ought to ease up on the babies and dogs. Sure its annoying but no one makes the decision to bring them lightly. Also its not at all reasonable to ask people not to lean their seats back. This is why the seats have a lean back function. If you're too fat to deal with the seat in front of you leaned back all the way, even when you can lean your own seat back, drive!

In the Air: Turn the toddler around and sit him down, it ain't cute!

In the Air: Flight Attendants, don't wake me up to ask if I want a snack! I know how this works, if I went to sleep before the cart arrived the answer is NO!

In the Air: I promise you everyone was NOT entertained by your baby!!

In The Air: Everyone on the planet knows how little seating room there is on an airplane, big folks, either buy two seats or fly first class, c'mon this is ridiculous!

You asked about use of electronics and why we have to turn them off:

I fly often and wondered about this, and happened to fly with a Physicist from Sandia National labs once, so I asked him.

He said, these devices can potentially interfere with navigation and other instruments in the cockpit because of the lack of what's called shielding of electromagnetic fields on consumer electronics.
All these little devises produce an electromagnetic field which can interfere with radio frequencies because they are in fact themselves radio frequencies (RF frequency).

Why is this only something which can potentially affect plane operations below 10,000 feet is a question for yet another physicist (I'm sure he told me but I don't remember).

I also have a pilot friend (Captain, SW Airlines) and although he didn't know about RF-Shielding, he did say that from his perspective, and the official reason given by this particular airline, is safety. Take off and landing are by far the most dangerous parts of flying, so there may arise a need for announcements at this time. Of course the announcements we all here regarding safety happen at this time as well.

Thanks for your show today, especially with Reza Azlan.

Regards,
Eric O'Connell

@Corinna - I'm skeptical that everybody on that flight was entertained by your baby.

In The Air: most especially for the southerners, nervous people and the chatterbox, "leave me alone!" I don't know you and don't want to talk to you the whole flight about your life!

Regarding the screaming kids in the airplanes: yes, everyone agrees that it is annoying. However, the pressure changes in the airplane usually cause children some pain in their ears, and they don't know how to deal with this pain as well as you all-knowing adults. Crying is actually a coping mechanism with this pain and can relieve the pressure in the ears. If the kid is in pain, it's actually nice not to discourage him/her from crying. Unless you want the innocent kid who really didn't get a choice in going on the plane in the first place to be in pain the whole way back home. You like when people help you put your bags in the over-head compartment and keep their elbows to themselves, so give the kid a break too.

The comment about walking and NOT using the headrests for balance is a GREAT one. I hate being asleep and having some insensitive jerk wake me up by popping his/her hands up and down the headrest instead of reaching above for balance. It is just common courtesy not to mention good hygiene.

The headrest grabbing isn’t about germs or touching someone’s hair… for anyone who flies or takes the Amtrak enough knows, people who pull on the back of seat backs to make their way disturbs the dozens of people they pass. It’s about not being rude and jerking around other passengers. People also do that to hoist themselves up out of their seat, grab onto the seat ahead with both hands and pull.

Barbara - why should people be more important than dogs?

I just returned from a non stop red eye from Los Angeles. I had the middle seat and my husband had the aisle. When I reached my seat, a large obese man was sitting in the window seat. He was so large, his fat spilled over my armrest so that I could even use my arm rest or change the channels on my tv screen. He took up almost a third of my seat. I am small, so I sat down and leaned toward my husband. The plane was completely full, and I did not see any other open seats, so I just toughed it out for the entire flight. I think this is a good case for large people being required to pay for two seats. I paid a full fare, but only got a partial seat. Should I have asked for a refund from the airline?

2 things I'm shocked there haven't been more comments on:

1) If you are huge, buy an appropriately upgraded seat size or fly a different airline with more leg room/seat width

2) Do not bring your whole suitcase and a garment bag and try to pass it off as a carry-on and a personal item. I know business travelers don't like to wait at baggage claim but suck it up. Its only 20 minutes and you're not better than the rest of us.

Just a quick reminder that on every flight where a baby is crying are at least two who don't. My baby (10 months) kept everybody entertained on our last flight from Las Vegas to New York.

Leave the dog home too! Everyone does not love dogs!!

I absolutely hate it when people lean their seats back, especially when they lean them back a lot so that you have very little space. Boundaries, people!

It's also very annoying when you're sitting next to someone who's very overweight, and you end up with less space.

I am an airline pilot and fly 757/767's out of JFK.

With regard to electronic devises, the rule is turn them off to be safe rather than sorry. One may not cause interference, but 220 people texting, calling, gameboying etc. can interfere with cockpit electronics/navigation devices, not the engines.

This is more of a potential problem with newer, modern highly computerized aircraft, ie A-330 or A-340, rather than the old B-727, DC-10's

Happy Landings!

I remember taking a twa coach flight to europe in 1972 - it was luxury! the swag in the bathroom!

And to the fellow objecting to infants - just remember you were one once and maybe the baby is just as excited about you! Infants need their parents.

Maybe there should be a "mod" system where people on the plane can vote +1 or -1 on other passengers depending on their behavior. Those points can lead toward frequent flier miles or other rewards.

Cell phones,laptops and other electronic devices have no effect on a airplane's navigational equipment, or anything else for that matter.
http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4014 is a good explanation of why it is "illegal".

This has to do with the subways, but the other day I was on the train and two guys, dressed in painters coveralls got on and as soon as the doors shut they yelled, "NObody move and nobody gets hurt!" It turned out to be some hip hop dancers, but what a terrible way to start your routine!

who slipped something in brian's corflakes this morning? he's cracking me up! what's with the mood today brian?

I was just on a five hour flight a few days ago, and the couple across the aisle from me would not stop making out.

Can there be some rule regulating make out time on flights?

Re: Turn off Electircal Devices

I thought it may have more to do with not wanting people to communicate with one another--e.g. someone in the back of the plane communicating with someone in the front or other types of terrorism. I noticed that they allow us to turn on the phones/devices immediately after landing, but we have to have phones turned off when the cabin door is closed.

The rule should be that people need to get over their "kids shouldn't cry/you shouldn't recline your seat" whining. Accept that it's just a fact of flying.

JP Garden State --

"Leave your baby at home"

Great idea man! Baby food is on the top shelf on the left, see ya last 2 weeks of August!

Don't grab my seat back to lift yourself out of your seat behind me!

What about people who put there coats in the overhead rack and expect people not to wrinkle them when they put their bags in.

My biggest pet peeve is people freaking out at everything... when flights get delayed/cancelled and they rush the desk, when gates change, etc. Calm down people.

Another is when everyone stands up as soon as the plane stops taxiing and turns on their cellphones and you hear a symphony of startup noises followed by incessant gabbing.

Finally, when deplaning, wait for the rows in front of you to exit before getting up and crowding the aisle and pushing ahead of everyone who is sitting down patiently waiting. It wouldn't hurt to help people get their luggage down if they are having trouble too.

I have a tip to avoid excessive conversation and squishing from the person next to you: carry a (graduate school level or professional) math book with many equations in it, and read it with great enthusiasm. No one will bother you during the flight and they will be so repelled by your interest in mathematics that they will physically shrink away from you, freeing the armrest. I discovered this in my early years as a math major in college. The first time I openly read a math book on a plane, my seatmate said, "that looks awful, I feel so sorry for you!" and when I replied "Actually, I'm reading this for fun," I was not disturbed for the rest of the flight.

While waiting for luggage at the carousel, instead of standing right up next to the it, why not stand a few feet back? That way one can step up and take you baggage when you see it, instead of creating in impenetrable barrier of bodies.

I was on a flight & after about 3 or 4 hours I realized I hadn't turned my cell phone off. I turned it off & told the flight attendants who kind of laughed...

Speaking about children on the plane, I was on a red eye with my 18 month old and we were upgraded to first class, she was fast asleep when we arrived and I had her in my arms... the steward insisted I place her on the seat and swoosh she slid down the "leather" seat and woke up screaching... naturally getting her back to sleep was impossible.... the steward came up to me and said "you have to do something with that child" - what a riot!
Same happened a year later - daughter fast asleep and the steward insisted that I sit her up for take off and up she was for the next 6 hours to Paris... So if your child is asleep, do what you think is right... the stewards don't have kids!

In the Air: Be mindful of your *ahem* hips when you are going up and down the aisle, stop knocking people on the shoulder and knocking off their hats!!

I think we need not only "on air" etiquette but "on LIFE" etiquette. People, "these days" are extremely self centered period and need to start realizing that we all share the same subway car, plane, sidewalk...

For those of you who complain about kids - try bringing one yourself! I am extremely respectful and have brought my children on flights - once one of them woke up in the middle of the night with a night terror - impossible to quiet her down - thankfully no one screamed at me. I too was mortified but it's life! Kids scream and cry (and so do adults)

TOLERANCE and RESPECT people!

Why must people bring their "purse pets" into the passenger cabin. My husband is extremely allergic to cats and dogs. I know it seems cruel to put them in with the baggage, but if they can ban peanuts, why not animals?

I have taken my children on flights exactly twice in seven years, despite the fact that I live 8 hours from any family member. I have done this because I didn't like feeling like a criminal on the airplane for bringing children on. A plane is not a library. Many parents do the best we can to keep our children quiet, so please do not glare at us as we're boarding.

MY suggestion would be that airlines designate certain flights as "family friendly". Those without children who bought tickets for that flight would be forewarned. Or can't Disney start an airline?!

Humans should have priority over DOGS! I was on Jet Blue and someone brought their dog aboard and sat next to me. I am allergic to dogs and asked the dog holder if she would be willing to sit somewhere else. SHE was willing but the FLIGHT ATTENDANT said no, that since I was the one allergic, I had to move. I had an aisle seat which I had purchased many months prior and I did not want to move to an inside seat. Really, JetBlue, people should have priority over dogs!

The reason that all electronic devices have to be turned of is because they emit radio waves, which -- in theory -- can interfere with the airplane's computer equipment if they are of sufficient power and the right frequency. Despite this, however, the ban on devices that do not transmit or receive signals is largely a precaution. Researchers have had little luck in reliably establishing an actual relationship between such devices, and actual airplane computer malfunctions.

In the Air: Give your kid the bottle or pacifier to chew on during takeoff and landing, they are crying b/c his/her ears are popping!!

Baggage!
Other than the short, if you can’t carry it and easily stow it, check it or don’t bring it.
Please put wheeled carry-on in the overhead bin PERPENDICULAR to the opening, not sideways… you take up more space than needed.
Only stow your stuff above and below your own seat.
If it will take you more than 15 seconds to grab all of your stuff and deplane, wait until others whom are ready to leave.

a compliment to continental:

recently we flew continental early in the morning. we arrived 20 minutes before the flight was scheduled to leave, and i guess because we were so tired, we didn't notice that the plane had already boarded & closed - we didn't think it had started to board. 5 minutes after the plane left we noticed something was wrong - and were devastated to learn it had left.

Continental rebooked us on the very next, more expensive flight at no cost - it was only an hour later and left on time. i couldn't believe, in this day in age, there was no charge! no hassle?

I'm frustrated that it costs me $200 to bring my dog, certified to do therapy, hypoallergenic, who is so quiet no one notices her on the plane, while screaming babies are free, and people who do not fit in only one seat are not charged more. They charge me more to put my dog on the plane - one way - than they charge for seats - and she doesn't even get a seat - she has to stay in a bag under mine.
Outrageous.

The Discovery Channel Show "Mythbusters" once did an episode where they attempted to interfere with flight equipment with all manner of electronic equipment including cell phones that worked on a variety of electronic frequencies. The results? NO interference whatsoever!

The new electronic devices have an "airplane mode" which cuts off all functions that leave the device. So people on electronic devices might still be ok during takeoff even if listening to music or watching a movie

I have to fly for a living because they can't bring the computer systems to me. There is a lot to complain about, but one of the worst is that I am not 5 feet tall I am close to 6 ft tall and I wish I could sit comfortably like a 5 footer.

MythBusters busted the myth of cell phone interference in one of their episodes...they said the main reason they ask you to turn off all electronics is that you pay attention during take off in case of an emergency: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phones_on_aircraft

They tested the electronics interference on the show Mythbusters and some devices DID interfere with the plane's systems.

I'm tall, 6'4", and if the person in front of me tries to recline the seat, it doesnt go more than 1/2" or so. I usually politel let the person in front of me know thats it wont move, due to me knees. Once after informing a women of this, she returned with a flight attendant, and said "she had found me another seat"! I nicely let her know that she could move if she wanted

YES cell phones can impact flight controls. On the Discovery show "Mythbusters" they challenged this and were surprised in the end when a cell signal actually did influence the flight panel compass they were testing with. You can see it with your own eyes.

I fly OFTEN ... I couldn't call because I'd RANT ... here are the top offenders.

* If you are in an aisle seat please stand up and step away from the seat so the people in the window and center seat can get in and out comfortably ... I am not interested in putting my chest or rear in your face ... nobody is thin enough to squeeze by comfortably.

* Please instruct your children to airline etiquette namely being courteous to the person in the sat in front of you (no kicking or playing with the tray).

* Let the person in the center seat have both armrests ... (seriously, that poor soul is in the center seat) you will have one armrest lean toward the aisle or window if the plane is that crowded.

* When walking down the airplane aisle put your hands up on the overhead compartments to keep your balance not the headrests if you watch you will see flight attendants do this.

* If someone is reading a book and listening to headphones, chances are they really don't want to tell you where they are going or why.

* You have to turn off your devices so you can pay attention during the crucial times of take off and landing.

Electronic devices can cause to problems:

1. People distracted by their gadgets may miss important directions (especially since takeoff and landing are the times when accidents are most likely to happen).

2. Wireless transmissions can interfere with aircraft electronics, which these days are absolutely essential to controlling the aircraft. Probability very low, but not zero.

Hi Brian!
There have been studies done and most electronic devices do not affect the aircraft signals. However, there is the potential that one could and that is why it is illegal.
Also, just a note for that guy who doesn't turn his phone off, one man actually had to serve a 4 month jail sentence for not turning off a hand held video game!
Thanks!

Step away from the baggage carousel until your bag arrives! Let people get their bags!

No pets on planes please. You never know if the guy next to you in allergic to dogs.

The ipod rule is in effect because the airlines are concerned that you will not be able to hear emergency messages from the captain with earphones on. That is why you are allowed to use the airline's radios, because they are able to interrupt the music in an emergency during taxiing and landing.

In the Air: Brush your teeth if you have been in the BAR right up til boarding time!!! Stale alcohol breath is horrid!!

I was on a plane this week. We were delayed for three hours on the tarmack and a guy across the aisle was watching a very graphic surgical video on his laptop. I suspect he was a med student and it was meant to be educational, but it was really disgusting, and upsetting for those of us sitting behind him. I asked the flight attendant to have a word with him, and he turned it off.

PLEASE don't bring McDonalds or Burger King on board... The whole plane smells...

not all children are cute.

Don't rush into the aisle while waiting for the plane door to be opened. Let people rushing to connecting flights off first. (Besides, you're still going to have to wait to get your checked luggage anyway.)

In the Air: when landing, get off the the plane or get outta the aisle so we can pass you up!

I have nothing against kids. But, I think they should either have a special section for people with children who could cry and scream or have a quiet section where such children are forbidden.

Don't have the whole family and all your friends crowd around the luggage carousel to collect your belongings. It gets too crowded. Let one person in your party stand in front, the others should stand a few feet behind.

I've been told that a little known fact is that even if you have a coach ticket you can go to the first class TSA line because we all pay the same fee to the TSA irrespective of what class of ticket bought.

I would love to get confirmation on this.

one morning I had to leave my subway seat because I had 5 i-pods around me blasting their music. It was intolerable!

rule of subway travel (especially in the morning) - silence, read a book, or sleep on your seat. It's a long day ahead!

1. No hogging armrest

2. Don't push your chair all the way back

3. Make sure your bag fits overhead or underneath

4. Turn your phone/electronics off when they tell you to

5. Bring something to entertain your kids

6. Wear shoes that are easy to take off

Nice try, trying to steal my name there by adding "Beauty"

In the air: Board when your zone is called, get your stuff overhead and get outta the aisle!!

If you have a cold and you are sneezing, please bring a mask to wear. (I once sat in front of a man who sneezed non-stop for a 10-hour flight.)

1. Morbidly obese people should have to fly first class. They are simply too large to share seating in coach and make their seatmates uncomfortable for the duration of the flight. If someone who is clearly too large for a coach seat arrives at airport check-in and is booked into coach, the airline should have the option to upgrade them to first class and charge the corresponding increase in price.

2. Parents need to be VERY aware of their children during flights and keep them from kicking the seats in front of them. They should also bring things to do for small children to keep them busy AND they must keep their children from screaming and crying throughout the entire flight.

3. Airlines need to provide tissues and anti-bacterial wet wipes and trash receptacles in more locations so passengers AND staff can keep themselves and their hands clean.

4. People should NOT fly when they are sick with flu, colds, easy-to-catch illnesses. Planes are small enclosed spaces with recycled air and other people can and do catch things easily.

5. Overhead compartments are not meant to hold the same quantity of luggage as luggage compartments, but people tend to overstuff them to save time at the baggage carousel at the ends of flights. This practice should end. It does actually hold people up to have to wait for people to unload all their belongings from the overhead compartment, too.

NO SPITTING ANYWHERE!!!

It all boils down to the Golden Rule, folks: Treat others the same way you would want them to treat you.

Don't 'take a bath' in perfume right before a long flight (or for that matter a short flight). Some of the passengers seated near you could be allergic to your perfume.

Don't hog the armrests.

Don't commandeer the entire overhead carry-on luggage bin with your oversized luggage and coats/jackets.

If you have a lot of carry-on items, use the space beneath the seat in front of you so others can share the overhead space.

When you've just used the plane's bathroom, wipe up the water in the basin and on the counter.

Review the security rules for carry-on luggage BEFORE reaching the scanners!

Avoid discussing highly-controversial topics that could reasonably be expected to upset neighboring passengers overhearing the conversation.

I'm less interested in the rules than how to persuade people to adhere to them. How do you get people to want to use common sense or create an environment where that prevails? New buses and subway cars, modern stations have a short term effect, it seems. People are still driving and talking on mobile phones. Enforcement is part of the problem/solution but we need to fundamentally change how people think.

1) Everything you bring on the plane needs to "fit". Determine whether your carry-on will fit in the overhead BEFORE you board so that you do not delay the boarding procedure for the rest of us while you struggle to make it fit, finally give up and wind up checking it anyway (note to airline employees: it would be nice if you would flag the offenders BEFORE they board). Determine whether you fit in the seat before you board. I paid for my seat, you did not, and I should not have to deal with you 'overflowing' into my seat.

2) No diaper changing on the tray table. In case you haven't noticed, people eat off of them. Note to travelers: carry disinfecting wipes with you.

Unless it’s for emergency medical reasons or to see rapidly dying relatives, leave your infant at home!!!!!!!!! You don’t have to drag your infant who won’t remember a thing on your trip to Paris. This is like bringing a 1 year old to a rated R movie that’s playing way past their bed time and they’d rather be cranky then sleep. Can’t find someone to watch your kids? Fine, don’t travel until their at least 4. You will live without plane travel for a few years and Paris would probably be happier if you left your infant home!!!! Nothing like being stuck on a tour bus with a continuously screaming baby!!!!! The worst parent traveler is the 5 hour flight with a 2 year old and a parent that has brought absolutely nothing to keep their kid busy except to let the kid kick the seat in front of them and uncontrollably running up and down the isle for 5 hours. Even worse is the parent that thinks they have their kid in check while the kid is screaming at the top of their lungs and the parent just smiles and thinks its cute. Please don’t fly with your infant unless its absolutely necessary.

I think it to be courteous to the passenger behind you to simply take a glance back at him/her before you let your seat back at the speed of light. Could be hot coffee on their tray table or a baby in a lap. Just a simple gesture of consideration.

Always fly with a camera and digital voice recorder -- you never know when you'll find yourself sitting next to an AWOL politician and need to capture photographic evidence and conduct a quick interview about his travel plans.

I was once on a plane where the woman across the aisle from me began polishing her nails. The smell of the nail polish was so overpowering... not something you want to be inhaling in such a confined space. You would think it would be common sense not to do this on an plane.