wnyc.org / 93.9fm / am 820

Appalling guest. Shallow. Self-righteous. Lockjawed. Every sentence ending on a high note as if it were an interrogative sentence (a common foible amongst public speakers who think it gives gravitas to their pronouncements)

I just read a great book about an 18-year-old boy: "Someday This Pain Will be Useful to You" by Peter Cameron. I totally identified with James, the main character, and felt the author got everything right about what it's like to a young guy today. It was almost spooky. I wonder if the woman talking has read that book. She should!

The speaker sounds defensive about boys. Having taught boys who dropped out of high school reading at a second-grade reading level, I can tell you, boys ARE at risk. So are girls. It's because our schools are completely inadequate. That's not to say they aren't incredibly creative and intelligent.

It should be pointed out that society expects girls to be emotional, but does not expect that from boys. I find it interesting that so many boys/men become downright obsessed with their girlfriends. I would say this obsession happens much more with boys than with girls. Could this difference come from that expectation of emotion? Boys are expected to not show emotion so they hide it to the point that it becomes a problem.

I think the caller about "boys in the media" made an interesting point, and am surprised by the author's reaction. If the boys themselves don't feel it's something that effects them (hard to believe anyhow that it wouldn't, even if they're not aware of it), the image of incompetence might just lower other people's expecations of them. And enforce a stereotype.

Maybe this seems like something of a backlash against feminism, but maybe its effect will be to turn the attention, not to girls-lifted-above-a-morass-of-reductive-boys or boys-reduced-by-feminism (or whatever), but to gender in general. The focus should be on broadening the available expressive options for everyone, making strength available to girls, sure, but not to the point of affirming the old terms whereby strength is valued over qualities that remain disparaged as "traditionally feminine" and that keep boys repressed and unable, say, to express emotion. Women were seen to be kept from holding power positions, and yes, those positions should be open to them, but where power has been validated as superior, so has the old paradigm by which women were negatively judged. Focusing on boys like this actually starts to question those old valuations, and I can only think that feminism would benefit.

I wonder what the author's views on being gay in high school are. In my high school, in a rural but relatively tolerant town in New England, coming out in high school was just not done. Has that changes in the past 10 years?

The "problem" here is not boys, but rather the emphasis on teenager-dom and "adolescence." This category has been more or less created and maintained by marketers and society - it is a false category, and until people stop thinking in terms of "teens" and their special, separate lives, the "problem" will not be solved.

Greater integration into the adult world would solve many of these issues.

Is it just me or does she seem surprised by the fact that boys are human? The guest is not describing boys, she is describing all teenagers!

Hoping to hear more about gay teens and in general how boys talk about figuring out / coming out about their sexuality. Please ask Saval how her book deals with this.

I was a teenager in the 70s. I have a 5 year old son and already he is a victim of the ruthless media fusillade. "What to wear, what to buy", etc. We never had the "image" or "expectation" machine in the 70's. We had a certain amount of freedom from the world. It's hard to imagine the immense social and personal pressure my son will be under due to 600 cable channels.

With an adolescent boy in the house
I am boning up on parenting skills - again. I think it's more important now than ever to provide a stable base for the adolescent to explore from - no matter how much they push your buttons. Reflect back to the child his best self.

Two groups of teenage boys on the subway on different days: One group sitting, laughing loudly, and punching each other in the crotch. Another group, talking quietly, very geekily, but earnestly and passionately, about baseball
(playing it, not watching it). One boy said, "You know what I *really, really* hate, it's when I feel like I'm the only one who CARES."
Extraordinary.

Well they did, the feminists said that it was a crisis and they were right. So what are they talking about. They succeeded in bringing attention the crises of girls and women and did a good job of it. Now there is a boys crisis probably because of a shift to working on the girl's/women's crises. It's just a natural shift and not let's get back to boys as well as girls.

As a boy just leaving high school, I believe that much of the disparity in male/female school results from a school environment that is more fitting for girls then boys - "Sit down, be quiet, read this deep, 'meaningful' book. Think deeply."

Neuro analysis (brain scan) studies have proven that boys' brains are more active when working in a rapidly changing, dynamic environment with a heavy focus on active response and results of responses.

Some adaption has begun, but it is slow and not recieved well everywhere.

Will the next guest be a man who says there is no glass ceiling for women? An man who studied and wrote about the "raw emotions" of teenage girls. I doubt it. And why not? For obvious reasons, I think.

That said, I am glad someone is talking about the very real crisis for young males in our culture - even if it is a woman who is denying it exists.

News Flash -- ALL teens feel alone. If ever there was a non-issue this is it. I'd even take Michael Jackson coverage instead -- and that's bad!

Excellent points Listener in Staten Island. As a gay teen in the early 60s I have stories I can tell and they probably would not be posted here. But this is not about me, and in general all male teens have the problems in this area that you point out here and it's time some serious sex education be promoted. I think we would all be surprised and how many problems would be solved with regard to teen boys. Education has proven to be a good resolve to most problems.

One defining feature of teenage boy-ness is how bad they are made to feel about their sexuality. It is perceived in a manner that is insultingly reductionist ("all boys only want one thing," etc.) but at the same time it is a powerful and largely unfulfilled desire.

And the general societal confusion about this topic tends to drive boys inward. They can easily intuit that most people around them, especially women, are pretty disorientation about male sexuality so they just keep their own turmoil to themselves. For gay teens I can only imagine that this is even more difficult.