#12 I was on-hold to ask the same question. I was at a temp assignment this week and though I knew it was supposed to go about 6 weeks, it ended quite abruptly. I knew I wasn't working out for them because I'd made some mistakes. I had made some mistakes to be sure, nothing I thought was unforgivable, but I started to get the feeling the day before that people had been talking about me. Let's say, I *knew* something was up. When the head of the department came in on Wednesday what she actually said was she was leaving for a week and wasn't sure I'd be there when she got back and that she wanted to say thanks for my help. what I heard as subtext and in her voice was: "You're done." I *knew* this and took most of my stuff and left for the night. About 20 minutes later the temp agency called me to tell me that that very same day would be my last at that assignment! No warning or anything. And I knew it cuz of my intuition.
Apr. 10 2009 11:36 AM
Score: 0/0
maggiie
from nj
This was a great segment. I only wish it had been longer & hope you have him back. BTW, you've become my favorite BL show substitute. Excellent job!
Apr. 10 2009 11:28 AM
Score: 0/0
sarah
from Brooklyn
I do not think it is terribly common for people to shoot themselves with a second arrow....most of us would stop at, "oh well, she isn't attracted to me." rather than the spiral the guest describes.
If one doesn't allow the mind to ask certain questions wouldn't one miss an area of their lives there is something you could improve upon? This is not a facetious question.
If one keeps getting rejected by people on an online dating site shouldn't one ask oneself why this is happening? Perhaps your photo isn't the most flattering picture you have. Perhaps there are spelling mistakes in your profile, perhaps you have broken some online taboos that you are unaware of and need to research how to create an appropriate profile. Doesn't one need to imagine a time in the future where women do respond to your online dating ad?
How can the guest even have an online profile? Doesn't that mean that he thought to himself, "I think that meeting a companion (in the future) will make me more happy."
What are techniques for practice mindfulness while striving for self-betterment and not being stuck in state of stasis (however blissful)? Any thoughts on how to reconcile this conundrum?
Apr. 10 2009 11:05 AM
Score: 0/0
isaac
from Uptown
In response to Pamela's question about cognitive therapy, there are some similaries, and there is even a branch of CBT called Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy. The idea is similar to cognitive therapy in that you recognize that if you think, "I'm an awful person," this is not real, it's simply a thought. By practicing mindfulness, you are able to be aware of these thoughts as simply thoughts and not to get wrapped up in them. I found this therapy to be very powerful in my life when I was going through tough times.
Apr. 10 2009 10:49 AM
Score: 0/0
Julia
from NYC
I appreciated your comment on the frustrations that surround the assumed notion of meditation. It seems like this is the first wall that people come up against when trying meditation for the first time. I know I have!
Apr. 10 2009 10:48 AM
Score: 0/0
Irene Woodard
Totally agree Mindfulness is edgie-making, because one is more awake, more alive to the world inside and outside of us. So one becomes more in touch with the world, not less. That has been my experience Agree with Ian from Peekskill
Apr. 10 2009 10:48 AM
Score: 0/0
Kevin
from Prospect Heights
People who (mistakenly) think that mindfulness, Buddhism or meditation leads to be disconnected or disengaged with life need only consider the Dalai Lama. Here's a guy who sleeps something like 3 or 4 hours a night, spends several hours a day reading and praying and the rest traveling the world to work on peace and Tibet. This guy is uber-energetic and engaged!
Apr. 10 2009 10:44 AM
Score: 0/0
L
from Brooklyn
How can meditation and being mindful help your physical heath?
Apr. 10 2009 10:42 AM
Score: 0/0
Geoffry
from Brooklyn
Mindfulness also equals 'observation' which is a powerful filter for decisions and the creative process!
Apr. 10 2009 10:41 AM
Score: 0/0
Christopher Deignan
from Middle Village
It may sound daft but I get very mindful on the golf course. It takes a hell of a lot to get me upset out there. I'm just relaxed, happy and of course if I'm playing well it doesn't hurt either. But regardless of how I'm playing I'm focused, peaceful and just plain old happy. I've tried meditation and its great, I equate it with exercise in a way, the end result is similar and you do become aware of how and what you're thinking and begin to gain some control over your thoughts, which can only be good.
Apr. 10 2009 10:41 AM
Score: 0/0
m
from NYC (Chinatown)
Just a quick note of appreciation for Mr. Cohen's book -- I've read it, it's great.
Apr. 10 2009 10:40 AM
Score: 0/0
pamela@dancesport.com
from NYC
Your comments about online dating remind me a lot of cognitive behavior Therapy (or positive thinking). Is this something you base your mindfulness on? Pamela
Apr. 10 2009 10:40 AM
Score: 0/0
Ian Berger
from Peekskill, NY
Mindfulness means being spontaneous! Mindfulness means being alive, in the now! The most mindful person I ever met was also the funniest. I think Judith Warner has had a limited experience with mindfulness. Meditation has made me more present and in the moment, not less.
Apr. 10 2009 10:39 AM
Score: 0/0
Gary
from UWS
Mr. Cohen, will you please have your publisher release an Amazon Kindle version of your book, or at least an audiobook version?
Apr. 10 2009 10:33 AM
Score: 0/0
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Comments [14]
#12 I was on-hold to ask the same question. I was at a temp assignment this week and though I knew it was supposed to go about 6 weeks, it ended quite abruptly. I knew I wasn't working out for them because I'd made some mistakes. I had made some mistakes to be sure, nothing I thought was unforgivable, but I started to get the feeling the day before that people had been talking about me. Let's say, I *knew* something was up. When the head of the department came in on Wednesday what she actually said was she was leaving for a week and wasn't sure I'd be there when she got back and that she wanted to say thanks for my help. what I heard as subtext and in her voice was: "You're done." I *knew* this and took most of my stuff and left for the night. About 20 minutes later the temp agency called me to tell me that that very same day would be my last at that assignment! No warning or anything. And I knew it cuz of my intuition.
This was a great segment. I only wish it had been longer & hope you have him back.
BTW, you've become my favorite BL show substitute. Excellent job!
I do not think it is terribly common for people to shoot themselves with a second arrow....most of us would stop at, "oh well, she isn't attracted to me." rather than the spiral the guest describes.
If one doesn't allow the mind to ask certain questions wouldn't one miss an area of their lives there is something you could improve upon? This is not a facetious question.
If one keeps getting rejected by people on an online dating site shouldn't one ask oneself why this is happening? Perhaps your photo isn't the most flattering picture you have. Perhaps there are spelling mistakes in your profile, perhaps you have broken some online taboos that you are unaware of and need to research how to create an appropriate profile.
Doesn't one need to imagine a time in the future where women do respond to your online dating ad?
How can the guest even have an online profile? Doesn't that mean that he thought to himself, "I think that meeting a companion (in the future) will make me more happy."
What are techniques for practice mindfulness while striving for self-betterment and not being stuck in state of stasis (however blissful)? Any thoughts on how to reconcile this conundrum?
In response to Pamela's question about cognitive therapy, there are some similaries, and there is even a branch of CBT called Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy. The idea is similar to cognitive therapy in that you recognize that if you think, "I'm an awful person," this is not real, it's simply a thought. By practicing mindfulness, you are able to be aware of these thoughts as simply thoughts and not to get wrapped up in them. I found this therapy to be very powerful in my life when I was going through tough times.
I appreciated your comment on the frustrations that surround the assumed notion of meditation. It seems like this is the first wall that people come up against when trying meditation for the first time. I know I have!
Totally agree Mindfulness is edgie-making, because one is more awake, more alive to the world inside and outside of us. So one becomes more in touch with the world, not less. That has been my experience
Agree with Ian from Peekskill
People who (mistakenly) think that mindfulness, Buddhism or meditation leads to be disconnected or disengaged with life need only consider the Dalai Lama. Here's a guy who sleeps something like 3 or 4 hours a night, spends several hours a day reading and praying and the rest traveling the world to work on peace and Tibet. This guy is uber-energetic and engaged!
How can meditation and being mindful help your physical heath?
Mindfulness also equals 'observation' which is a powerful filter for decisions and the creative process!
It may sound daft but I get very mindful on the golf course. It takes a hell of a lot to get me upset out there. I'm just relaxed, happy and of course if I'm playing well it doesn't hurt either. But regardless of how I'm playing I'm focused, peaceful and just plain old happy. I've tried meditation and its great, I equate it with exercise in a way, the end result is similar and you do become aware of how and what you're thinking and begin to gain some control over your thoughts, which can only be good.
Just a quick note of appreciation for Mr. Cohen's book -- I've read it, it's great.
Your comments about online dating remind me a lot of cognitive behavior Therapy (or positive thinking).
Is this something you base your mindfulness on?
Pamela
Mindfulness means being spontaneous! Mindfulness means being alive, in the now! The most mindful person I ever met was also the funniest. I think Judith Warner has had a limited experience with mindfulness. Meditation has made me more present and in the moment, not less.
Mr. Cohen, will you please have your publisher release an Amazon Kindle version of your book, or at least an audiobook version?
Leave a Comment
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Please stay on topic, be civil, and be brief.
Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments. Names are displayed with all comments. We reserve the right to edit any comments posted on this site. Please read the Comment Guidelines before posting. By leaving a comment, you agree to New York Public Radio's Privacy Policy and Terms Of Use.