Oh dear. Turn over a rock and there's no telling what's going to come skittering out.

Check the subject of the segment.

But I guess one element of surviving the office party is dealing with people who, hobbled by their own obsessions and silly assumptions, like to mount a moralistic high horse.

Wow, Gene! What a great story! You rock, dude!

Now log on to penthouseforum.com

It's full of titillating anecdotes sent in by frustrated 42 year old men with the brains of horny 13 year old boys, like yourself.

#13 is exactly why I wish they would skip the whole thing this year!

What could be so wrong about a party at old Fezziwig's?

i've boycotted our holiday party for the past few years - consultants, freelancers and interns are not invited because the company is wary of getting in trouble for having "permalancers" - that subset seems to always get screwed on perks like parties and I think it stinks!

this is the most informative, entertaining, segment i have ever heard. Amazing, peabody-worthy content. brian you are a genius! so, so, amazing. can radio get better?

People getting laid off + alchole and a swinging "after" party to our crummy little conference room party = a wild time. I don't really drink so I can't wait to see who says what, who hooks up with who and who doesn't show up to work the next day

What about people who don't celebrate holidays due to religious or personal reasons and therefore don't attend the holiday party? Does that generally do them harm when it comes time for review?

I well remember walking through a door at my office's Xmas party to find my female boss and the hot, married Finnish woman making out furiously. The beautiful Finnish woman said, "Oh, Gene, come join us!"

I wasn't drunk enough to take up the offer(!)

How is it perceived by the boss if you socialize but don't "imbibe"?

I am a musician and I play at 4-5 office Christmas parties a year and I have seen some crazy $hit. People seem to come with a different attitude when free alcohol is involved.

My favorite was the strip tease/lap dance given to one of the exec's by one of the younger female employee's. Thankfully it was put to a stop by some of the older women at the office when she completely unbuttoned her shirt.

At an office halloween party I approached the payroll manager who was dressed like a witch and asked her, "I thought you are supposed to wear a costume?"

Whatever you do, don't get drunk on a dinner cruise with your co-workers and don't show off your pole dancing moves on the dance floor.

How long do you stay at a Holiday Party? Do you simply make sure you speak to who you need to and then leave?

Everyone knows who really gets the MOST intoxicated and out of control at holiday parties.

I work at a finance brokerage firm...no party this year, breakfast bagels from the downstairs Devon & Blackley with a complimentary pizza lunch.
And to think previous Christmas parties were held at 30 Rock' Center and well known restaurants...Oh yeah, in previous years we invited Bear Stearns to the party!

My company cut salaries but gave us bonuses and had the holiday party. I just drank too much wine and was very hung-over the next day, so took another hit. The hits keep on coming...

What??? How did this become racial?? you people!

I work for a major academic publisher. Our holiday party has been canceled but the "higher-ups" have pooled their own money for a two-hour open bar next week. I could care less about a holiday party but this effort but in by the bosses makes working here just a bit more pleasurable.

I am looking for a creative out this year. We are a small company so it is quite obvious when you are missing. In fact the boss called me while I was in route last year. Did I mention that these are held at his home? I really DO NOT want to go help!

I'd rather have nothing. I never went, took food to my desk and ignored the whole silly thing. I had to work with those people didn't care to socialize with them. Yes, I'm a curmudgeon, have a problem with that?

Our office holiday party was cancelled along with raises and bonuses. As boring as it may have been last year, at least it was better than nothing. Even if it's pot luck or cheese and cheap wine in the office, it's better to recognize employees in a small, dull way, than to not recognize them at all.