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You had me going for a lot longer than I care to admit. Good one.

Dear Brian: Every year I wait, eagerly, to see if you can top your prior efforts. This is right up there. Happy holiday. Best, Lennie

"gullible get a dollar off" - hilarious ending, thanks Brian

Correction to my earlier comment re: The caller offended by condom promotion. His attitudes militate against HALTING the spread of HIV and STIs... (I omitted that key word!)

1) Agree with the caller who suggests that if you WERE arrested at the Republican National Convention, you should get at least $1.00 off. I very much appreciate the Mayor's administration. He's been great for public health. But the arrests and warehousing of the protesters was a major assault on civil liberties, and rewarding it would be an outrage.
2) The proposal to take $1 off for under 50 year olds who use a condom presupposes that over 50 year olds are not at risk. In fact, the rates of infection in men over 50 is rising, precisely because (in part) they feel safe. The caller who is offended by condom promotion ignores a fact of life and his assertion that sex with a condom is only for those one does not know is another instance of not understanding how one should gauge one's own risk. He also assumes that there is something "dirty" about sex, and something "illicit" about sex with a condom. These are attitudes that militate against the spread of HIV and STIs, indeed, against our public health.
3) The last caller who suggested rewarding "high occupancy vehicles" was on to something smart.
Thanks for this segment of the show, Brian.

wow - I did not think I could get so ticket off by a joke - but I sure just did.

50 cents off for a christian fish on your bumper or a plastic Buddha on your dashboard?? Only if I get a dollar off for a: 'religion is for the weak' sticker.

Seriously: Everyone is always so concerned not to offend any believer of any religion - but atheists are treated as true outcasts.

Sure it was just a joke. But jokes are known to reveal a peoples underlying attitudes.

ps, I bet that British guy who didn't like condoms is mighty pissed right now

damn this infernal day! First I get tricked into thinking Al Gore is running for president with Bloomberg as an independent and now this. I'm such a sucker!

got me!!!!!!

ahhhh brian you're such a trickster!

You beat me to it, Brian! Yeah, I don't think Mayor "Free Speech Zone" will go for a discount for those who *were* arrested at the RNC.

& turn to WBAI tomorrow -- same show for real!

money off if you have used your metrocard in the last day (hours/minutes) etc. more off if you've used it recently.

happy april fools, but i still think this is a good idea!

Let's have a two week long discussion about whose moral rectitude is morallier rectitudinous than someone else's. Going to the doctor has no points on the MRI. I have better ways to stay healthy than paying money to the health care megalopolies.

Great Apr. Fool's segment!

This is a commercial for fascism.

If we give a small credit for a Jesus fish or a Star of David, there should be a large discount, maybe $5 for one of those Darwin Fish (the ones with primitive feet).

I am rolling on the floor, unbeleivable!

Back in the days of Bill Clinton he tried to pass tuition credits which, as I recall, were visciously attacked as social engineering, not to be tolerated!! Now, how did we get from there to here?

It really blows my mind how american society seems to be reversing in to the dark ages. lets remember the moral thing to do is not the right thing to do. So why not talk about the right thing to do... like if you use public transportation you get points, as well as if you use the rubbish bins, or just paying your taxes... just my opinion.

"This almost sounds facetious to me..." PRICELESS!

if you vote for me for mayor, you get a dollar off.

How about if you always take the subway, you get a dollar off from congestion pricing--oh, wait.

the sensor reads your laptop's cache and can see if you've ever commented on a blog. If you've never complained about a development project in NYC on a blog, say Atlantic Yards, you get $1 off.

1. $1 if you've attended at least 1 of your child's parent teacher conferences and/or pta meetings.

i was also thinking about getting those people that have not been paying child support but if they have no $ to even pay that, what's the point of charging them another fee?

2. if you're a nyc dept. of education employee trying to get to work you should get at least $1

p.s.- can you tell i'm a teacher?

Link to license plate numbers, and $1,000,000 if you lobbied to get the the RNC nominating convention for NYC in 2004?

Minus a dollar of you were falsely arrested and held for exercising your first amendment right to protest the convention.

If you were arrested at the RNC convention, you probably already use mass transit or ride your bike.

If you have a Brian Leherer bumber sticker you should pay a DOLLAR MORE!!
April Fools!

a pecking order regarding abstinence/condoms?

shouldn't that be a "peckering" order?

we should pull eliot into that debate!

lifetime free pass if you can prove (with clear photos) that Mike Bloomberg uses condoms.

OH Jeez Enough!!

I bet a lot of people believe this!

How about using this as a way of dealing with weight issues.. dollar off for a good BMI

That guy who thinks condoms are a bad idea should move to Kansas, or Kazastan.

Hybrid Vehicle
Two People in Vehicle
Three or More People in Vehicle 2 points

We really should put meters on car horns.
The more you honk, the more you pay.

Yes, April Fools....

Are people actually taking this seriously??
I think it's great. Happy April.

If this is the case, I owe the city millions of dollars!

"This just came in from the news room" -- the last time something came in from the news room at 11:40 on an April 1, the city council was going to ban smoking in homes -- because one man's home is another man's work place.

It was too bad that proposal was defeated. But why not combine these? The cameras should detect smoke in the cars and check credit card records for cigarette purchases. $2 extra congestion charge per day per pack.

As you said then... happy holiday!

I really thought I could not be fooled today.

Good job!

Your should get credit if you have never run a red light, or jay walked!

Happy April 1

For the approval of the last caller, how bout: virgins get in free!

Given today is April 1st, I think our legs are being pulled.

That alot of stuff for any government to follow up. And last time I checked the NYC Condoms are FREE. What about Pople who live in NJ. How are they going to find out that their kids don't miss school. LOL

Nice try WNYC.

They should check your credit card records to see if you've been buying inappropriate things off the internet.

Happy April Fool's Day!

GREAT APRIL FOOLS PRANK...LOVE IT!!

Moral rectitude in any form would destroy NYC. There should be fines for moral rectitude, rather than incentives. Same with congestion. The whole point of NYC is that it's so crowded nobody goes there anymore.

Will the city sell ad space on the condoms?

April foolio!

Sensors can read what your clothes are made of: organic cotton, $1 dollar off, hemp $2 off.

The listener who was offended by condoms...Was he serious? It is April Fools Day, it had to be a joke.

Please tell us that the whole Congestion Pricing is an April Fools!??

Or, how about, if you can afford the $8, a $30 surcharge is added to it. Manhattan should not be only for the rich!

$2 off if you are actually wearing a condom (or a chastity belt) as you are driving in.

Please, please post the list on the page somewhere -- I want to share the genius with my non-NYC friends.

God, I hope the people getting up in arms are playing along....

Good April fools segment..!!!!

How about if yor car is Hybrid, you charge the city for the air you have allowed them to breathe below 60th street?

Am I the only one who realizes it is April 1st today?? You have very gullible listners!!!

Ha! Yeah! Most definately April fools.

For those who are compelled to drive into the gridlock, anybody with a bicycle or roller blades in their vehicle should get $1 off.

Oh I love that guy...

No condoms.

The reason we have this morass in society is because we dont do sex ed in schools ..

but that was a great sarcastic call!

1984?

If you volunteer to be castrated and are a billionauire, you get to go into the City for free, forever, as you are a worthy candidate for public office!

brian -- the new orson welles. how are you keeping a straight face??

very funny. happy april fools.

I hope this is an April Fools gag because if it's not my blood pressure is going to shoot skywards and possibly cause me a stroke and I will die for which I will hold WNYC responsible. How DARE the mayor think he can determine morality. HOW DARE HE!!

I am so angry about the plan that passed last night I think I fell for the aprils fool joke that this must be

http://www.google.com/googlecalendar/new_wakeup.html
Another April Fool's joke from google.

Genius, Brian! Excellent take on our mayor's nanny-state tendencies. My hat is off to you, sir!

Reward for spaying and neutering your pets...

Left-handed persons (extra bonus if ambidextrous...)

Great one this year! Happy You-Know-What!

This must be an April fool's joke. It just sounds too farcical and too Big-Brother to be true. If there were anything remotely resembling such an index in reality, drivers should get a discount for driving a hybrid.

April Fools!

this is funny, but just to let you know the NYC condoms are free...

#15 hit the nail on the head. Another big brother works his way into our lives.

Here's the most important reward for moral rectitude: $8 off if you don't bring a car.

Ha! yeah! most definately April fools.

Full refund if you give sexual favors in exchange for real estate development (including Dan Doctoroff)

Gullible people get $1 off.

How about politicians get $1 off if they don't vote for a raise for themselves.

How about a long time WNYC member? Should be worth a couple of bucks a day!

happy april's fool day--great fun

Everyone who gives up seats to the elderly and pregnant women should get $1 off. ;-)

this is a joke right? Big brother or what? I don't smoke, eat trans fats, agree with all of the indexes, but this is crazy!

Awesome April Fools!

Oh, and don't forget 35 cents off if you wash behind your ears!

Way to go Brian! LOL!!

Please tell me this is an April Fool's Day joke!?!?!

I'm with Rory!

WNYC member discount!

I think small cars and hybrids should have a discount

I've been waiting all day for the first April Fools' joke ~ thank you.

If you WERE arrested at the RNC convention, $2 off.

Do they match WNYC pledges?

Google made a fair attempt at an April Fool's Day joke this morning, gmail custom time:
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/customtime/index.html

If you WERE arrested at the RNC convention, you get $1 off. In fact, you don't ever have to pay anything. After all, over 90% of those arrests have been thrown out and the other 10% are on their way to that status.

ROTFLOL.

Great delivery Brian.

Holy cow this is total facisim. my medical records linked to teh government, NO WAY. I hate this even more, its ilegal and it is imoral.

An additional charge should be added for each yellow flag affixed to a vehicle. The money should then be used to "support our troops!"

Happy April Fool's to you too.....

happy april folls day

Happy Fool's Day, Brian.

Thanks,

Stephen

$6 off if you have no sense of dignity.

April Fools !!!

Happy April Fools Day!!!!

April Fool!

april fool's

How about a discount for WNYC listeners? The sensor could detect what frequency your radio is tuned to.

One that should NOT count: Biodiesel and old diesel engines. It seems better for the enviornment, but negatively impacts the airspace. It stinks!

Wells

These are not serious are they?

Great April Fools segment.

Almost as good as today's Woot. April Fool's woot-off with 20 sales of the SAME item all day long (woot.com)

Happy April Fool's Day Brian! sigh...