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Amina Tariq

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WNYC RADIO ROOKIES: WE HAVE STORIES TO TELL

First Broadcast: February 21, 2006
REPORTER: Amina Tariq
Running Time: 8:44 (including Host Intro)
TRANSCRIPT (5 pages total)

HOST, INTRO: Let's face it, gossiping has a bad reputation. Even so, new research finds that most of us do it, a lot more then we'd like to admit or maybe even realize. Just to clarify: gossip is the act of talking about someone who isn't there and it does not have to involve spreading rumors. Radio Rookie Amina Tariq is a senior at a private Islamic High School. She readily admits that she gossips a ton...even though she's not proud of it.

Amina, Narration: Me and my friends gossip all the time.

First Girl: "And she actually got pregnant by him a couple of times!"

Second Girl: (Gasps)

Amina, Narration: And our gossip has a very juicy flavor.

First Girl: ...that girl has a bad reputation, she would always get an abortion and her parents didn't know, but like...

Amina, Narration: We do it everywhere — at school in the lunchroom, hallways, and bathrooms.

Amina, Narration: I remember one time we were at community center in Queens for a Bhangra dance class.

(Sounds of Bhangra dance music)

Amina, Narration: We learned some dance moves, but after class we sat down, got comfy, and did what we really came to do...

First Girl: She was like getting on his nerves, so he just...

Second Girl: she reminds me too much of a dumb blonde!

Amina, Narration: We talk about people who weren't there.

First Girl: She was like what would you rate me from a one to a ten. I was looking at her and trying to be nice.

Amina, Narration: A few years ago I didn't really care about who I was gossiping about or what I was saying. But then I saw the movie "Mean Girls."

Clip from the movie "Mean Girls": I mean no offense but why would she send you a candy cane, she doesn't even like you that much. (Gasps), maybe she feels weird around me because I am the only person that knows about her nose job.

Amina, Narration: WOW!

Movie: Oh my god! Pretend you didn't hear that!

Amina, Narration: that was mean and kinda' like something I did before! The movie made me stop and wonder why is gossip is SUCH a big part of my life. The first thing I noticed is that like the girls in the movie, I just want to let out my feelings and those feelings are: jealousy and anger:

First Girl: cuz I was right next to that girl and she was telling me that to my Principal. So I was like sister you're lying.

Amina, Narration: Don't worry about the details, BUT there was a fight in school between one of my friends and this other girl. We were walking home from school talking about the fight...cursing like crazy, all loud and vicious.

(Sound of someone saying "Yo. I hate people like this")

Amina, Narration: Four Muslim girls wearing scarves over our heads. People were staring, I BET probably thinking: "so these are Muslim girls gone wild".

First Girl: I am not going to lie that girl talks about her buddies too!

Second Girl: Yea! I knew that!

(Sounds of conversation under narration)

Amina, Narration: But we weren't only gossiping to let out our anger ­ we were also trying to see what really went down. It turns out, that's one of the main reasons why people gossip.

Rosalind Wiseman: There is a kind of gossip where you are trying to figure out what's going on in front of you.

Amina, Narration: Rosalind Wiseman wrote the book "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees." Her book inspired the movie "Mean Girls."

Rosalind: You don't know and you want to talk to other people about it and who are you going to talk to? You are going to want to talk to your friends and you're going to talk to your friends and their going to give you advice.

Amina, Narration: I was excited to interview Rosalind because she's an expert on girls and gossip. She told me there is another big reason why people gossip-when you are trying to put someone down so you can feel better about yourself.

Amina: Like...um...I am going to play a clip of me and my friends talking.

Rosalind: Oh sure, Excellent.

Amina: Yeah and how mean we sound.

Rosalind: Oh my god! (Chuckles) Okay!

Amina: cuz I had to go to her house, cuz my mom was friends with her mom and my mom is like why don't you hang out with her. So I was like... Yo! Their house. Oh my god! It was so disgusting. There were roaches EVERYWHERE. You sit down on the bed there's a roach on you.

Girls in background: EWWWW!

First Girl: She used to like act like so high class.

Rosalind: Um I think there’s a lot of stuff going on

Amina: Really?

Rosalind: Uh-huh I do. That's actually about that girl's poor. And it gives you a way- I'm not saying you, I'm saying anybody-it gives you a way to look at that girl as not being equal to you. Does that make sense? Because she's different. That's about classism. That's about whose got money and who doesn't and its about putting people down because they don't have money.

Amina: See know I feel really bad.

Amina, Narration: When I was gossiping about that girl, I was just saying that her house was dirty but I didn't know that there was a hidden meaning. Rosalind also told me some girls learn to gossip from their moms. What she said is SO true because me and my sisters get it from our mom.

(Sounds of conversation in Urdu under narration)

Amina, Narration: When I was 6-years old I would go to my friends' house. We would be running around like monkeys and when we ended up in the kitchen we'd see our moms... one cooking briyani and one cleaning the dishes, but they had this look on there faces... like they were sharing something interesting... and they didn't want us to know. Now it's the opposite-my mom tells me and my sisters to sit down and listen up:

Amina’s Mom (translated from Urdu): She didn't listen to her parents and now her engagement broke and the other boy also betrayed her too.

Amina, Narration: My mom and her friend Safa Baji were in the backyard talking about how a girl had ruined her life because SHE wanted to fool around with a guy. And you see that's not cool in my religion and culture. I'm DESI (that means South Asian) AND I'm a Muslim girl... and what that all means is... I have to be an angel... no boys period.

Amina’s Mom (translation from Urdu continues): Her dad doesn't even talk to her anymore and he got a heart attack because of her. But what really hurts me is that the sisters aren't friends anymore and that they don't even talk to each other.

Amina, Narration: When my mom told the story she wasn't trying to be rude, she wanted to show us that if we mess around with guys we will end up breaking up the family. Being a Muslim girl is a big deal in my family and also in my Islamic High School. So if a girl steps out of the boundaries for liking a guy then everyone takes it as a chance to start talking about her. But unlike my mom, the teenagers in my school make up lies.

Boy: I heard you guys, you know were kissing under the tree.

Amina: What?

Boy: Yeah.

Amina, Narration: That's annoying Sean.

Sean (underneath narration): You didn't know?

Amina, Narration: He was telling me some gossip someone had spread about ME in school.

Sean: ...he took you out in his truck and you guys went to the park-central Park, matter-of fact it was Central Park and you guys kissed under the mistletoe tree or something like that. (Chuckles) I was like really! Amina! I said "no"!

Amina: um and who said this? I presume some girls.

Sean: hmm...possibly.

Amina, Narration: just so you know the rumor wasn't true. The real story is that I liked this boy and he liked me but nothing happened and Sean and whoever told him took that as a way to spread nasty stories about me. I wanted to punch Sean... and I did later on, but it didn't make me feel better. If a rumor like that gets out to a girl's parents, well, let's just say she'll get into a LOT of trouble. I was starting to notice a pattern in all of this gossip. Sean, my sister and friends were gossiping about girls... my mom was... and also me. It's seems to me like girls are the main target of gossip and rumors. I think the reason why is because our family reputation is in our hands. We have an important role to play: Be a good daughter, go to school, get good grades, and of course NO BOYFRIEND. Then we get married... take care of our husband... pop out some babies and then die happily knowing that we fulfilled the role we were meant to play.

Amina, Narration: My friend Aliea had a funny way of putting it.

Aliea: In our society what a woman does is really important because it kinda symbolizes her … No it is her image of a person. So if a girl does something like if she's seen with a guy, Its like "Oh! What’s that girl doing with that guy, that's not her boyfriend, that's not her husband, that's not her brother, that's not her father...? Oh! She's a ho."

Amina, Narration: I do NOT want to be called a 'ho'. And I know that if I am seen with a guy, that's what people are going to call me. So, in a way, gossip sets boundaries on my behavior, which is good thing because I won't mess around with guys. But gossip can be too controlling and hurtful—especially when people spread lies. I wondered if I should just stop completely. I asked my friend Hina if she could quit. She got all red and scary looking like she was gonna kick my butt.

Hina: Ah, stop me from gossiping, you trying to take my food and water away?

Amina, Narration: To tell you the truth, I agree with Hina. I want to stop, but I will never do it ­ I have stories to tell with my gossip. Plus life would be a big fat blah.

FOR WNYC, I'M ROOKIE REPORTER AMINA TARIQ.