Kurt

In anticipation of his “surprise” birthday party [no surprise at all; he’d known about it for several days], Barney walked home even more slowly than usual. Looking down at his feet, shuffling along the sidewalk, now only a half a block away from “home” [actually his girlfriend’s apartment], a poem, [his first] began seeping into his brain: If you don’t require me to tell you I’m a liar, then I’ll never tell you anything that’s true. The truth is in believing that I’ve always been deceiving, though it should be nothing personal to you. The elevator door opens. Twenty guests in cheesy party hats simultaneously scream, “SURPRISE!!!” … but soon go completely silent as Barney continues looking down at his feet; then… ever so slowly looking up… “Hello”, he lies.