Lost 50 pounds. Found myself underneath.
Resolution complete: dry spell is over.
Turned 35. Lived as though 25.
Marriage escaped me. Auditioning lovers now.
Went from self employed to unemployed.
Became a roommate. Stopped being lonely.
Climbed through the living room window.
Kept retrieving possessions from storage unit.
Rediscovered nice guys. Developed a fetish.