Activist Judges: Judges who don’t give us what we want.

American People: Citizens who believe in the same things as we do. You and those who agree with you will be referred to as “The American People,” regardless of your actual percentage of the population. Those who do not believe in the same things will never be referred to as “The American People”, even if they vastly outnumber “The American People.”

Appeasement: Any foreign policy decision made by a Democratic president.

Attacks: Any criticism or critiques of Republican legislators, candidates or policies, no matter how timid, thoughtful, or accurate, shall be referred to as “an attack.”

Bias: Media coverage that does not make us out to be positively amazing.

Blame America First: Referring to America with anything less than slack-jawed adoration. Having the impudence to point it out when America does something wrong. Believing that America could ever do anything wrong in the first place.

Class Warfare: Any legislation from the Democratic Party. 

Climate Change: A vast, worldwide conspiracy by the scientific community, with the end result being the confiscation of pick-up trucks, jeeps and 4-wheelers, just because scientists don’t like them.

Code Pink: A highly influential group of communist infiltrators who control the Democratic Party by way of getting forcibly ejected from public hearings.

Constitutional Overreach: Any domestic policy decision made by a Democratic president. (See: Power Grab)

Death of Freedom: Any legislation passed by a Democratic Congress (See: Freedom)

Elite: People who don’t agree with us, and can successfully articulate why they don’t agree with us.

Fraud: Any vote for a Democratic Party candidate.

Freedom: Things that we like.

Free Market: A magical system where everyone always benefits and nothing ever goes wrong.

Frivolous Lawsuit: Any lawsuit where people or things that we like are the defendants.

George Soros: An immensely powerful and influential billionaire and financier who bankrolls left wing causes, and can easily overcome the power and influence of the 70 or so billionaires that bankroll right-wing causes.

Goons: Members of unions or groups that advocate for better treatment of workers. (See: Thugs.)

Handouts: Government benefits for which we do not personally qualify.

Job Creators: Rugged individualists who never say die and made something out of themselves with no help from anybody. Will simply quit if conditions aren’t perfect for them.

Justice: Getting what we want, when we want it.

Jesus: A staunch Reagan-style Republican who believed in gumption, self-reliance, low taxes, small government and a healthy business environment.

Liberty: Having the government exactly the way we want it. Not having the government exactly how we want will be referred to as “an infringement upon our liberties.”

Mainstream Media: Any news organization, no matter how big or small, that engages in Bias. (See: Bias)

NPR: National Public Radio. The propaganda wing of liberal America that engages in nonstop bias. Accounts for at least 60-70% of Federal spending. Seriously.

New Black Panther Party: The shock troops of the Democratic Party, who rule the streets through terror and intimidation despite being nine guys who meet in a basement somewhere.

Patriot: Those who like the same things that we do.

PBS: Public Broadcasting System, a sinister engine of indoctrination that harms our children, preaches American inferiority by showing British television, and harms the free market by not allowing advertising. Accounts for at least 70-85 percent of Federal spending. Seriously. Really. It does.

Pork Barrel Spending: Federal money that goes towards projects and programs that do not happen in our districts or states.

Power Grab: Any domestic policy decision made by a Democratic president. (See: Constitutional Overreach)

Radicals: Those who do not agree with us.

Reagan: A staunch, Reagan-style Republican who believed in gumption, self-reliance, low taxes, small government and a healthy business environment. (See: Jesus)

Redistribution of Wealth: Taxes.

Saul Alinsky: A leftist intellectual, dead for forty years. To be blamed for everything from bad weather in Peoria to gingivitis among the elderly. (Note: Mention Saul Alinsky as often as possible, associate as many Democrats with Saul Alinsky, but under no circumstance are you to actually read Saul Alinsky.)

Small Government: Keeping the government from interfering in the lives of American citizens, with exceptions for the following issues: abortion, birth control, homosexuality, sex education, stem cell research, euthanasia, drugs, alcohol, pornography, popular music, movies, the use of salty language or the display of nudity over the public airwaves, public displays of religions other than Christianity, speaking languages other than English, the mandatory recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance by children, the teaching of evolution in public schools and the burning of the American flag.

Socialism: Things we don’t like; things that don’t please us; anything used by the public that does not make somebody money.

Taxes: The purest form of evil that humanity has ever devised.

Thugs: Members of unions or groups that advocate for better treatment of workers. (See: Goons)

Traitors: Members of the Democratic Party when they are in the Congressional minority.

Tyranny: The successful passing of legislation by the Democratic Party; losing an election to a Democrat.

Tyrants: Members of the Democratic Party when they are in the Congressional majority.

Values: Fundamentalist Christianity. (See: Jesus, Reagan, Small Government)