It is a season of cataclysms. And it's time to add another to the list: New York City's countless art galleries will come out of summer hibernation for the fall openings this week. That means the city will see itself deluged by an end-of-days storm of architectural eyewear, deconstructed designer clothing and incredibly cheap chardonnay.

To help ease your way through this veritable tornado of air kissing, we've teamed up with WNYC's digital guru John Keefe to create an incredibly handy downloadable map and mobile phone guide to the Chelsea fall art openings.

Never again will you have to debate on which of Chelsea's many look-alike blocks Tonya Bonakdar is located on. Or show up at Luhring Augustine on the wrong night. Or wonder what type of art might be in store for you at Friedrich Petzel. We've put it all on paper — and online and on your phone. And we've even included food and drink options, spots where you can kick up the stilettos or scarf disco fries.

Simply download and print out our simple simple PDF map here, which features opening and location information for the roughly two dozen spots that we think have the most potential to offer something intriguing — be it art or people-watching. 

If you are reading this on a smartphone, you can navigate a Web version of the map here.

If you'd like to hear a little bit more about the gallery, the art or the artist at each spot, you can dial into our audio guide and enter the location number. You'll then get the down-low on what could be cool — or just damn entertaining. To activate the audio guide, dial 646-807-4145. After receiving the prompt, enter the location number.

See you in Chelsea!!! We'll be the ones in the flame headdresses.

Audio production by Abbie Fentress Swanson